The Man on the 73 Omnibus

:: Spitting blood in apoplectic rage

2006-07-13T09:03:00.000Z

Tuesday evening has to go down in the history of this blog as the occasion of the single most aggravating bus journey it has ever been my pitiful misfortune to have inflicted upon my person.

I am almost lost for words and daunted to the point of paralysis at the prospect of explianing what happened.

At 5:38pm I began waiting at the bus bay outside Selfridges. Buses came and went up and down the street in both directions, bendys and double-deckers of all flavours and the usual numbers - all, that is, except the Seventy-Free.

At 6:00pm I had finished what was left of my newspaper and still no 73 had arrived so I walked to the 'shelter' to look at the LED sign which purports to indicate arrivals. There were two buses listed - neither was the Seventy-Free and the second of the buses was not to arrive for a further 17 minutes.

I rang London Buses to ask if a Seventy-Free would ever materialise. "Was there a problem...?" I asked as I began my walk through the crowds towards TCR. Lady said there was nothing on the computer indicating a problem. Everything was therefore normal. I assured her that a 37 minutes wait for a bus could hardly be considered normal and clearly there must be something afoot. We then had a discussion about the potential for those risible LED signs to *actually* carry meaningful passenger information beyond the often hopelessly innacurrate arrival times of any buses on the routes. How, I asked thinking about a recent incident, would you ever be able to let your customers know of any problems you might be experiencing? TfL cannot communicate with its customers. She informed me that this was beyond the capacity of the LED signs and that they coulod not be used to tell passengers of delays or diversions and could not be 'updated'. Personally I find this hard to believe but that's quite consistent with my experiences in speaking to these people - much of what they say is hard to believe. Anyway, I digress, in this midst of this conversation and as I passed through Oxford Circus I was absolutely staggered to see not one, not two, but FOUR Seventy-Frees heading up Oxford Street in the direction of Victoria all marked NOT IN SERVICE. I told the lady on the phone and said there was clearly something wrong. She said she would call me back. She never did.

By the time I reached TCR (I was heading for the 38 route on New Oxford Street) I had still yet to see a Seventy-Free and I was again on the phone still trying to find out what the hell was going on. This time I was speaking to an idiot call Tai who had no inkling of any problem with the Seventy-Free "There's nothing on the computer" and who also wanted to call me back. Well I was in no mood to fall for that again so I had to ask: "How can it be that the most heavily used bus route in the capital does not pass along the busiest thoroughfare for an hour and London Buses know nothing about it? Why do you need to 'call me back'? What is the purpose of this mysterious computer upon which there is apparently nothing?" Finally, Tai said "Oh, hang on something's just come up on the computer.... Apparently, Oxford Street is closed due to an earlier accident between Oxford Circus and Tottenham Court Road."

Jesus Wept! I'd just flamin' well walked the entire section and there's was nothing at all wrong with traffic between Oxford Circus and TCR. Indeed, I'd seen FOUR NOT IN SERVICE Seventy-Frees heading to Victoria for crying-out-loud WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE!!!! But Tai was insistent, "It says here on the computer....." I tried to spit out between gritted teeth that I preferred the evidence of my own eyes to what was on his fucking computer but it was to no avail.

By now I was waiting for the 38 and my mood did not improve one bit to see two NOT IN SERVICE Seventy-Frees now appear from Oxford Street and head straight ahead, right past me along New Oxford Street, missing the turn onto what would ordinarily be my route. I told Tai what I had just seen and he told me that the service had only just been resumed!! SO WHY IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS GOOD ARE THESE BUSES NOT IN SERVICE AND NOT RUNNING THEIR ROUTES!!!!!!????? Now I wanted to make a formal complaint. Unbelievably, Tai refused to take it down as is his duty. I had to call back twice to get another operator in order to make the 'official' complaint and the additional one concerning Tai's refusal.

As a footnote to this story I offer the following: today I managed to get through to the garage at Aggriever to enquire about Tuesday evening's problems. I am told by the garage superviser that the 73 was on diversion on Tuesday from 3.25pm to 6.30 pm owing to an incident he felt was near Marble Arch. Now I know for a fact that NOBODY at London Buses seemed to know ANYTHING about this certainly between 6:00pm and 6:30pm when I was speaking to them. Furthermore, I also know there was absolutely nothing wrong with the route between Oxford Circus in both directions. I also asked the garage supervisor to confirm my suspicion that these bendybuses are NOT air-conditioned and that all they are equipped with are noisy roof fans. He could confirm that but apparently the driver's cabins are *partially* air-conditioned! Luxury....

What a useless load of wankers running the busiest bus route in the capital - incredible!

:: Unnanounced detours & encounters with goons ...

2006-06-23T09:03:00.000Z

Firstly, I'd really like to thank those fellow-travellers who have taken the trouble to write in with messages of support and encouragement. I am very interested in others' experiences of the Seventy-Free not least because it offers me new ideas and strategies to put pressure on Transport forLorn and Aggriever and deprive them of revenues which they do not deserve until the respond to the concerns of their customers. Thank you and keep the comments coming.

There's a couple of things I have to report about the past week which may be of interest. On Monday when I boarded the bus on Essex Road there were a couple of blue-uniformed ticket inspectors already aboard so like any other law-abiding citizen I swiped my card and then sat down to watch the fun. Of course some people didn't have a legitimate fare and sat like lambs to the slaughter until approached, duly surrendering ID to be fined at some later date. I had hoped to engage one of the inspectors but I didn't really get the chance as he spent most of the journey sitting at the back of the bus chatting pleasantly with a student he had just 'fined'. I couldn't really hear what they were talking about but the were smiling a lot - probably football.

Wednesday morning and evening were difficult. In the first instance Oxford Street was inexplicably gridlocked and there was no explanation to be had as to why. As the Seventy-Free crawled up Oxford Street haemorrhaging passengers, I too, was eventually inclined to take to my feet and walk the rest of the way. I couldn't reallyu see why there was a jam beyond a few workmen just south of regent street installing some street furniture. I didn't give it a second thought. Yet at 5:30pm when I caught the bus home outside Selfridges I was baffled when, unannounced, the driver turned right into Regent Street and took the passengers on an unwanted and certainly unwelcome 35 minute tour of Piccadilly Circus. The only indication that we were now on diversion was the occasional yellow roadsign further along the 'new' route. So I heaved a sigh and thought, "Oh well, I'm here now I might as well stick it out."

But then the sheer stupidity and incompetence of it began to eat away at me and I couldn't concentrate on finishing the paper. My mobile phone grew heavy in my pocket and my palms began to sweat with apoplectic rage. Now you'll understand that London Buses complaints number is now prpgrammed into my mobile phone and it was time to give them yet another serve. Why, on God's green earth, is it not possible for the drivers to inform passengers that the bus is on diversion? Why, when I boarded the bus at THE LAST STOP before the Seventy-Free was to turn off its customary and published route to give the passengers the opportunity to dismount and make other arrangements if they so chose? Furthermore, why in hell can't TfL use those otherwise inaccurate red LED displays to flash messages about say, diversions? I raised all these questions and more to the operator at the end of the line and she could not satisfactorily answer any of them. I did discover from her, however, that the delay in the morning had been the result of 'third-party' road maintenance that should have been finished during the night but which had overrun. From this nugget of information it was easy to extrapolate the fact that despite having been somewhat ambushed with this problem in the am, TfL had the benefit of 12 hours to find a way of ensuring that their customers be informed of this development, which was still rendering lower Oxford Street impassable to buses at 6pm that evening. Yet they had not done so by any manner of means.

Imagine, then, dear reader, my absolute incandescence when having been forced into the snail's-pace detour described above the driver pulls up into a thirty-eight bay on New Oxford Street and announces that the bus is terminating. This was simply too much and I went forward to 'have words'.... The driver was surly and aggressive, but then by now, so was I. Why the bloody hell couldn't he tell us about the diversion? He grunted back at me that he was under no obligation to tell me anything and that furthermore, the destination on the side of the bus had clearly read Tottenham Court Road (which, by the way, we weren't actually on). Now we all know that the drivers like to point this out when it suits them but then, they also like to randomly change the sign when informed by their bosses, so why would anybody ever trust what the destination sign says? Even more aggravatingly, clearly his last 'official' stop on the Seventy-Free route had been where I had boarded. Why, fo r the love of God, would I want to catch a Seventy-Free to any part of a detour route I was not informed about only to be forced off the bus once it rejoined the route I was actually expecting!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE!! Unbelievable.

This morning was an object lesson inprotest by fare evasion. I boarded at my usual stop and by the time I reached the Euston Road I had a seat near the card reader (as is my wont). Sure enough I saw them coming a mile off, this time in crisp, white sleeveless shirts: two male and two female ticket goons boarded, by which time I had swiped my Oyster Card. A minute later and I'm being asked for my fare which I hand over for confirmation. No problem at all; into the back pocket it goes again. I watch as they hassle other passengers and do their thing. As the female comes from the back of the bus I can't resist: "Excuse me..." I ask her "what's supposed to happen if the bus is terminated and I have prepaid for a 'fuller' journey?" She gives me the whole bunkum about the transfer ticket, whereupon I tell her that this forms absolutely no part of their Conditions of Carriage document. She hands me all that crap about asking the driver &c, &c... I go through all the usual arguments but it's pretty clear I'm holding her up and she wants to get away. Next I ask what happens in those cases where a recalcitrant 'fare-dodger' doesn't want a thing to do with the goons and refuses to cooperate. She happily admits that there is nothing they can do - not detain, not restrain, not anything..... In fact they are advised "for their own safety" not to get into arguments or hassles with passengers. So now you have it from the horse's mouth. Apparently, the only time when they will call the police is if the occasion arises where the 'fare-dodger' not only does not cooperate but insists on remaining aboard the bus at which point the journey will terminated for all aboard. Before we part company she left me with her business card and urged me to complain (as if that would do any good!).

Incidentally, a friend of mine (let's call him Dave) managed to obatin one of these mystery transfer tickets when his double-decker went on random diversion last week. He knew to ask for one and had to hassle to get it from the driver. Here it is in all it's glory. I'm not sure what to make of it exactly but suffice to say, they do exist in the wild. If anybody out there can decipher it I'd be grateful.

Cheers & Happy Trails!

:: Conditions of carriage

2006-06-14T11:25:00.000Z

What a fascinating document!

I should very much like to draw your attention to a number of its key sections. Let's begin with the introduction:

1. Introduction
1.1. These Conditions of Carriage set out your rights and duties as a customer of Transport for London (TfL), London Bus Services Limited and London Underground Limited. In addition, the documents listed below set out your rights and duties in other particular circumstances. Your rights and duties set out in these Conditions of Carriage do not affect your rights and duties contained in the following documents:

London Transport Railway Byelaws
• These control behaviour on London Underground trains and at London Underground stations.
• You can ask to see a copy at any London Underground ticket office.
• You can get a free copy from the
Customer Service Centre, London Underground, 55 Broadway, London SW1H 0BD.

Greater London Authority Act 1999
• This shows when, where and why we can charge Penalty Fares on London Underground and London Bus Services.
• You can see a copy at main public libraries in the London area.
• You can buy a copy from
The Stationery Office, 123 Kingsway, London WC2B 6PQ (tel: 020 7242 6393 or 020 7242 6410, fax: 020 7242 6394 or e-mail: london.bookshop@theso.co.uk.

London Transport Road Premises Byelaws
• These control behaviour at bus stations.
• You can see a copy at bus station enquiry offices.
• You can get a free copy from the
Customer Service Centre, London Buses, 84 Eccleston Square,
London SW1V 1PX.

Public Service Vehicle (Conduct of Drivers, Inspectors, Conductors and Passengers) Regulations 1990 (as amended in 2002) (‘the Conduct Regulations’)
• These control the behaviour of customers and staff on the London bus network.
• You can see a copy at main public libraries in the London area.
• You can buy a copy from
The Stationery Office, 123 Kingsway, London WC2B 6PQ (tel: 020 7242 6393 or 020 7242 6410, fax: 020 7242 6394 or e-mail: london.bookshop@theso.co.uk.

London Buses Complaints Policy
• This document can be found on tfl.gov.uk/buses or you can get a free copy from the Customer Service Centre, London Buses, 84 Eccleston Square,
London SW1V 1PX.

Naturally, I am eager to peruse these documents and have requested them in electronic format. Expect to see them posted here as and when.

Now if I could ask you all to reread section 1.1 and pay particular attention to the use of the word RIGHTS (my capitals). Please bear this word in mind when reading the entire document (should you so choose, to do click on the title of this post). If you don't want to bother with reading this 30 page .pdf, I understand. In that case you'll just have to take my word that there are three occurrences of that noun in either its singular or plural form which relate to passengers in the entire document. The only other occurrences of said word appear in the phrases such as "We have the right...." This document confers no rights upon passengers whatever.

Now much of the remaining guff concerns Tubes, Trams, Light Railways and other forms of transport which are outside of the scope of this blog so I will not treat of it here. But section 5.1 has some bearing - especially in the light of my recent experience:

5.1. All photocards and Oyster photocards remain our property and we may withdraw or cancel your photocard or Oyster photocard at any time. We will only do this for a good reason and if we do, we will give you a receipt.

and again in 6.1.

All Oyster cards remain our property and we may withdraw or cancel any Oyster card at any time. We will not do this without good reason and we will give you a receipt should it be withdrawn.

This did not happen in my experience of having an Oyster card "withdrawn".

Then there's this:

6.5. Duty to present your Oyster card. You must be prepared to present your Oyster card (and photocard, if needed) on each journey, whether or not we have asked you to do so. You must let a member of staff or a Police Officer examine it at any time during your journey if they ask to do so.

"Whether or not we have asked you to do so..." ????? I couldn't even make eye-contact with a driver yesterday much less 'present' him with anything. Absurd. Now it's good of TfL to let me know that I should show my Oyster card to a Police Officer should such a request be made. In point of fact I am well aware that I am obliged under the law to permit 250 plods to kick in my door at 2:30 am and terrorise myself and my family, assault me if they so choose and even shoot me down, unarmed in cold blood should the need arise. So I think I know why I must comply with demands (both reasonable an un-) from your average copper. What I am less clear on, however, is why I MUST to comply with the request of a jobsworth in a pseudo-uniform who has no enforceable right in law whatever to speak to me, ask me to divulge information of any kind much less arrest or detain me. Until such time as that situation changes in any material way I shall contine to act accordingly.

Section 9 and 10 are the real meat in the sandwich, I quote them here in full:

9. Ticketless travel and Penalty Fares
9.1. Buses. On articulated buses, you can board the bus by any door provided you have a valid ticket, pass or Oyster card. When using a bus Saver ticket on one of these buses, you must board the bus by the front door and immediately hand the Staff Receipt portion to the driver. If you wish to pay as you go, you can board the bus by any door but must immediately touch your Oyster card on the card reader provided.
On all other buses, unless you wish to pay a cash fare or use an Oyster card, you must show your ticket (and photocard, if needed) to the driver or conductor whether or not he/she asks you to do so. If you are using an Oyster card, you must touch it on the card reader when boarding the bus. If the card reader is not working or the bus has a conductor, you must show your Oyster card to the driver or conductor.
On all buses, you must have your ticket or Oyster card (and photocard, if needed) ready for inspection at any time during your journey. You must let one of our staff or a Police Officer examine it if they ask you to do so. If you fail to do so you may be liable to pay a Penalty Fare or you may be prosecuted.
If you are using Oyster to pay as you go and when asked to do so you cannot produce, on request, your Oyster card containing a record of the start of your trip you will be liable to pay a Penalty Fare or you may be prosecuted (see Section 10 below).

10. Suspected fare evasion and prosecutions
10.1. If you are travelling on any of our services without either a ticket that is valid and available for the journey you are making, or an Oyster card containing a valid season ticket or when paying as you go, a record of the start of your trip, or, if you are aged 14 or 15 travelling on a bus without a valid Child Oyster photocard, and we believe that you are trying to avoid paying the correct fare, you may be prosecuted. If the court finds you guilty it can fine you up to £1000 (and/or send you to prison for up to three months, if you were travelling on London Underground).
10.2. If we believe that you have used or tried to use any ticket or Oyster card to defraud us we may cancel and not re-issue it. If this happens, we will not give you a refund of the remaining value of the ticket, or refund any money or deposit paid for the Oyster card.
10.3. If we believe that your ticket or Oyster card (or your photocard) has been tampered with we may withdraw it. If this happens, we will not replace it or give you a refund of the remaining value. If your ticket or Oyster card (or your photocard) is damaged to such an extent that it cannot be read or will not operate our card readers, we will withdraw it but may, at our discretion, replace it. In either case, you must hand over the ticket or Oyster card and/or photocard if we ask you to do so.

I have bolded sections of particular interest here. The first section attests that:if we believe that you are trying to avoid paying the correct fare, you may be prosecuted. If the court finds you guilty it can fine you up to £1000 yet magically skates of any number of steps necessary to arrive at the frightening conclusion. Let's read the operative words here again. they are BELIEVE, MAY, and IF. How am I to be prosecuted exactly? The only outlandish scenario that my febrile brain can imagine where this eventuality might obtain is the well-signalled arrival and intervention of Inspector Knacker. However, let me assure you all that this Little Black Duck will have seen him coming a mile away and in the crowded chaos that is the Seventy-Free during rush-hour will have had ample time to reach the safety and immunity of an Oyster Card reader.

Now In some ways I've saved the best 'til last in the fine tradition of how our less abled-bodied passengers have probably come to learn how they will be treated by the likes of TfL and Aggriever. You'll find no mention of such passengers until page 38 of a 39 page document where the differently-abled are discussed in the same sentence as buggies and pushchairs, in the section that preceeds the regulations concerning the carriage of animals.

13.2.3. If you use a wheelchair or buggy, you should be able to board any low-floor bus unless [in the driver’s opinion] it is so crowded that there is no room for you to travel safely. You will only be refused entry when it is absolutely necessary, but no-one already travelling will be asked to get off the bus.

Let me put this another way: If you wish to use the Seventy-Free at any time when the route is busy, (ie. to get to or from work at the usual times when most folk want to travel), you can forget about it. No one will dismount much less be asked or required to make room for a wheelchair or buggy. You must quietly wait by the kerb until such time as you are late for work or until ten buses have passed by before you can board - assuming that a) the electronic ramp is operational; and/or b) the driver knows how to operate it properly.

Now can any of you remind me of the central plank TfL used in its arguments for the introduction of the Shitaros? Wasn't it something about accessibility......? But is now seems clear that you're only entitled to second-class accessibility if you use a wheelchair or a buggy. What a surprise!

Oh and by the way, I've scoured this document for any trace of reference to replacement tickets should your paid-for-by-Oyster-card journey be randomly terminated. There is no reference whatever. More TfL lies.

:: Another eventful journey

2006-06-13T12:22:00.000Z

I was running late today and so managed to catch a relateively empty bus after nine. But it wasn't long before something interesting happened. Some guy failed to get to the door on time at his stop at the bottom of Essex Road and called out to the driver to let him get off. Nothing doing. (We'll see why later). He calls out again. Nothing. He repeatedly rings the bell. Still nothing. The bus is stationary at this point mind you and pretty close to a stop. Then a geezer three seats behind me pipes up "Open the catch above the door and turn the handle!" First guy does this and presto, door opens and with one bound he's free. Moments later the door closes and that's that. I hear a lady next to the second guy remark "That's a neat trick" and I wonder if the dude has been reading my blog.

We pass down Pentonville road in heavy traffic and take an age to get through the King's Cross dogleg before heading up Euston Road. Then, mysteriously, near Euston Square the bus halts, engine running. Eventually it begins to dawn on the passengers that although we're pretty much at a stop the driver's going nowhere - we've been here too long. Driver gets out of his cab and goes outside, fiddles with something and comes back. Driver gets in cab and fiddles some more. Driver turns off bus engine and waits. Driver opens doors, closes doors....... half the passengers now decide they've had enough or are expecting 'random journey termination' (RJT) at any moment. To be perfectly honest I forget the exact order of events. Suffice to see there's a whole lot of fiddling going on and very little forward motion and ABSOLUTELY NO COMMUNICATION!

This goes on for maybe five or more minutes until I get up and go forward to the cabin to ask the driver. Now I'd had a sneaky peak up front before and another guy had been near the driver's cab but I hadn't really been aware of what had passed between them. Which turned out to be nothing. Well, certainly not a conversation in the generally accepted sense. So anyways, I reach the booth and say "Excuse me driver, might it not be good idea to inform the passengers about the hold-up? You know.... like, tell us what's going on?" And the bastard blanks me. Absoultely blanks me.There's a crackling radio going in the background but answer came there none.

Before I can ask again - perhaps less politely - a voice comes from over my shoulder and I turn to see a blond Arriva goon lady in a grey vest standing in the first stairwell who says "What seems to be the problem, Sir?" I turn around and say "Well we're all waiting here and we aren't even told why? I've asked the driver and he's blanked me." Then the guy I saw earlier who's sitting at the front of the bus chimes in telling her, "Yeah, I asked the driver too and he ignored me. Just ignored me! Completely rude and belligerent!" Arriva goonlady says: "Well, I can tell you that the driver's had a problem with the destination sign and that's why there's a delay." I say: "Is there a particlular reason why the guy can't tell us that himself?" What is wrong with these people!!!?? I should have stuck around and argued with her for some more but instead I just shouted out: "This 'service' is rubbish. Don't pay for this service, it's not worth paying for! I'm not going to travel with this driver any further" and with that I got off the bus and walked to Oxford Street. But not before I stepped out in front of the driver at the next set of lights and gave him the two fingered salute!

Incredible.

:: Poster campaign begins anew

2006-06-12T12:23:00.000Z

Hopefully you've noticed that your busstop is sporting some eye-catching A4 posters courtesy of the wife and I. We had a rather jolly time of it yesterday evening, cycling from Church St. in Stokey as far as Pentonville Road with little pots of extra strength wallpaper paste and brushes. Naturally we managed to stop at a couple of fine watering holes along the way to wet our whistles. In fact, it's difficult to say whether it was bus activism interspersed with drinking or a pub crawl punctuated by postering. Along the way we took in the delights of the Shakespeare with a half of Zubr each (really nice proper British boozer this one, famed for its free jukebox), and stopped at home to have a nice G&T in the garden before finishing up at the Duke of Cambridge with a pint of organic. If we hadn't run out of posters at Pentonville road I'd have contemplated going the distance to Marble Arch. Still, it was 9pm by the time we got to The Duke and the thought of cycling back (a bit pissed) up the hill from king's Cross was a little daunting. The highlight might well have been getting the opportunity to tag the back of a Seventy-free as it was stuck in traffic on Pentonville Road with my last poster. So apologies if you haven't seen a poster at your stop yet - all in the fullness.... There's something quite delicious about the thought of riding the Seventy-Free to finish off the job in the near future.

I don't expect the posters will survive for more than 48 hours tops. The last time I did this they were onto them pretty quickly and sent around poorly paid minions to take them down. I imagine this time will come as more of a surprise. Do let me know if you see anything interesting in relation to them.

I need to print some more as this last batch were ones I had left over from a year-and-a-half ago. At the same time I had some Avery labels printed up sporting my stylish Aggriever and TransportforLorn logos. Since I had some of them still I have been sticking them on the windows inside the Shitaros. Naturally, if anybody out there would care to go on their own pub-crawl protest or, indeed, join me on one of mine do let me know. Feel free to print off the posters yourself and start freelancing if you prefer!

No comments yet. Come on people! Help me out here.....

:: The Man on the 73 Omnibus rides again

2006-06-09T11:10:00.001Z

It's been a year-and-a-half since I've posted anything here and I'm strongly minded to revive this campaign of bus activism.

Why did I stop? Well having demonstrated to myself (and anybody who cared to listen) that nobody - and I mean nobody - with the power to do anything to improve this service would or could, I simpy gave up. In addition, my contract in west London came to an end and I began working from home, so I didn't even have to endure the miserable disservice that was and is the 73 route.

However, once again my circumstances have changed and since October of last year I have needed to travel from the Essex Road to Marble Arch on the stinking 73. In point of fact, I can and do take the 38 as far as Tottenham Court Road quite often. It all depends on which bus is less rammed with angry, sweaty humanity should they actually deign to stop in the morning and attempt to squeeze on a few more victims. Usually that means waiting half an hour or so whilst half a dozen sail by..... *sigh*.... plus ça change and all that......

Of course nothing is different; nothing I have tried has produced *any* tangible results short of using up my valuable time which could be spent on so many more pressing issues of personal interest or even day-to-day drudgery. If I have achieved anything at all (beyond leading and winning an ASA complaint against TfL) it is merely proof positive that by following the rules laid down by The Powers That Be about the correct way to raise issues and complaints is a as stale and barren as the current corrupt government that runs our lives. Once I had established that to myself (and hopefully to you dear reader) my task was done. If that sounds like a cop-out then I'm terribly sorry. But please read on and you'll see that all is not entirely lost.

So there's no real point in complaining through any of the channels on offer - that much is clear. Oh well, now that's widely known it's time to change tactics. What follows is what I suggest you can do to beat these bastards and their stinking dis-service and what I have been putting into practise:

*DON'T PAY!*

Why should you? Think about it. You're currently paying (in advance, mind you, if you use an OysterCard) for a service you are not receiving; you are paying for the mere chance of a bus journey at some perhaps distance point after you might have wanted to actually make it - often causing you to be late; you are paying to be rammed into a poorly air-conditioned cattle car with hopelessly inadequent ventilation and rarely any hope of sitting down; you are paying to be thrown around by hard-breaking drivers who are almost hermetically sealed in their cabins and who often do not stop to pick you up or else will not open doors to let you off. Why are you paying?

It's the same old reason isn't it? "What if I get caught?" The embarrassment of being accosted by some jobsworth who glorifies in the pretentious title of Revenue Protection Officer (Hired goon) is perhaps, too much for you. It needn't be this way.

Here's what to do. Obtain an OysterCard but DO NOT register it. Put five pounds on the card or so but NEVER more than ten. Overall the important thing to note here is that if you have a low balance on the card there is no value in having it electronically attached to your name and address. To wit, if you lose your OysterCard (or have to surrender it) then you've only lost a fiver - no big deal. This is the card that you will now endlessly use to ride the bendy bus/es in your free protest. The only other things that you will require to 'vote with your wallet' is a little bit of rat cunning and the preparedness to speak up for yourself.

So you finally manage to get aboard a merely overcrowded bus at 8:45 am with your OysterCard wedged in your backpocket. Keep it handy, you *might* actually need it. You'll probably be standing so make sure you do so within arms' reach of one of the turquoise readers. If, by some miracle you've a choice of seats, go for the ones right next to the aforementioned card readers. On no account sit in the back section of the bus or some other part where there is the possibility of being cornered. Oh, I almost forgot - certainly DO NOT place your OysterCard on the reader.

Now most people like to pass their journey in some sort of reverie either by drowning out the dispiriting sounds of the world outside, the ruckus of screaming harpie schoolgirls, or the dismal sound of traffic, with the ubiquitous iPods and by all means you too can indulge. For my part, I read the paper mostly (yes, alright, it's The Grauniad). But whatever you do, if you're going to 'dodge the fair' (how I dislike that phrase with all its implications of petty cheapness or cheap pettiness - I much prefer to think of myself as a refusenik on moral grounds or a civil disobedient if you will) you must keep your wits about you. DON'T put your hoody up and go to sleep in a corner, oh no, that simply won't do. You have to keep a weather eye out for fare inspectors. These guys are pretty easy to spot as they always travel in pairs and canoften be seen in groups of four. They wear white shortsleeved shirts, have regulation short haircuts and sport heavy blue multipocket vests. Tell you what, I'll get a picture of one next time I have the chance so you may know what you're looking out for. If you see one about to board the bus at the upcoming stop you can: a) swipe your card so that when he finally gets to check your fare you'll be in the clear; b) dismount and wait at the stop for the next available bus to complete your journey; c) do nothing and wait until the inspector approaches you to check your fare.

What!! I hear you cry. Why the hell would I take option c)? Well it's very simple. Ticket inspectors (unless accompanied by a transport/police officer have no powers at all. You don't have to give them the time of day. If you are approached by a ticket inspector, sorry! 'revenue protection officer' you may happily feel free to ignore them completely or, if so inclined, tell them why you feel perfectly justified in not paying for the appalling service and that you will not be doing so until TfL does something to improve it. There's absolutely nothing they can do about it. If they lay the lightest of hands on your person they are committing an assault. You may rest assured I have tested this thoroughly.

Goons are most often to be seen loitering outside of Rymans on Lower Oxford Street waiting to board a passing 73 to catch the unwary fare-dodger. The mystery is why anybody ever gives these guys their name? Who knows, maybe they don't. Maybe there's hundreds of penalty notices going out to John Smith's and Jane Q. Publics. Occasionally there's a 'Goon spectacular' outside of Angel Tube where anything up to a dozen of them loiter whilst backed up by a squad of police officers to provide the legal muscle. But such an event is rare: two in six months. Another blackspot is the stop opposite Essex Road station, but I've only seen one operation there in the morning in the last six months. At the Angel Goon clusterfuck their strategy is normally to get a goon on each door with his foot in the stairwell as if about to board, meanwhile other goons are hassling passengers as they dismount asking to see their tickets and OysterCards. It's a mystery to me how this is enforced as once you're off the bus I really don't see what right the goons have to accost you - I suspect they don't. Maybe that's where the cops come in. I'd be interested to find out more about what happens at goon clusterfucks so if you've any inside knowledge or direct experience of such an encounter do share. If you're on the bus when this happens to you my advice is to stay put. The goons will not risk overly delaying the bus and angering all the passengers by turning over the whole lot of you. Just ride till the next stop (a mere fifty yards up the road), dismount and walk back with a smile on your face.

If you do engage with the ticket inspectors do not be intimidated. However, if they ask for you OysterCard and you haven't swiped it I don't advise giving it to them as they will simply keep it to try to prevent you dismounting. Hence the need to keep the balance low and on no account register the card. I had to learn this lesson the hard way. A couple of weeks ago I got caught 'napping' on lower Oxford Street and only just managed to swipe my card as the inspectors came towards me. I was asked for my card and I confidently handed it over. I was horrified to discover that I had failed to top up sufficiently to have the correct fare and when the inspector checked I was 'found out'. He said he would have to take my details and took out one of those pads. I told him I was getting off the bus and the next stop and wasn't remotely interested in giving him my details. When the bus stopped he said "where are you going? I'm still talking to you." I replied, "Not anymore you're not. Give me my card back, please." Naturally he declined so I told him he could keep it. I lost a whole 21 pence on that damn card! Of more concern was the unfortunate fact that I had stupidly registered the card when I bought it! What to do? No problem. The minute I got home, some thirty minutes later I reported the card stolen. Luckily I had kept all the receipts from my £5 top-ups which include the card number. A salutory lesson.

But there's a new an interesting issue which I have discovered in the last week. Because of as yet unspecified and ongoing problems through the length of Islington Green end of Upper Street the buses 38 and 73 are taking fully half an hour or more to get to Pentonville Road. It has suddenly and mysteriously become as bad as the notorious Bloomsbury stretch. Yet it only seems to affect the bus lane as all the other traffic seems to flow relatively freely. The drivers cannot or will not tell why and it's becoming customary to see passengers haggling with them to let them off so long is the wait on the hot and sweaty bus.

(At this point it's perhaps worth observing that there is no penalty notice for 'improper use' on display next to the emergency operation switch above the doors on the bendy bus so if you really want to get off and think it's safe to do so then do as thou wilt - I'm not advising or recommending this at all, just pointing out what I have seen).

This delay has a knock-on effect for the 73 further down the line. I'm sure you've all been caught out on one of those aggravating journeys when you get on at point 'A' to go to point 'F' only to be told at point 'D' that the bus is terminating. Any attempt to engage the driver in discussion about this apparently random termination will result in your being told that the destination was clearly displayed on the side of the bus when you boarded. Correct, I'm sure but extremely irritating none theless, most especially when you are now in a crowd of upwards of forty hapless people standing at the roadside outside Warren Street station all waiting for the next bus. The point in all this is that this is now happening to four 73 buses out of five which although clearly marked with destination Victoria when you board on the Essex Road will change their sign at some point in the journey and kick you out at Oxford Circus.

So the obvious question arises: what if having boarded on the Essex Road and swiped my OysterCard I am travelling to Victoria bus station and I am unceremoniously turfed out at Oxford Circus? I have paid my fare for the entire journey but I will have to pay AGAIN if I actually want to complete it - to say nothing of the inconvenience. Naturally, I was curious on this score so I took the trouble to enquire. On Wednesday morning last, already running an hour late for work, I asked the driver who had just terminated the journey what happens in such cases. He said he didn't know and that I had a valid point. I specifically asked him about obtaining some sort of ticket indicating I had already paid (of course I hadn't) but answer came ther none. He didn't seem to have the slightest idea about TfL policy on the matter. Truth be told neither did I.

So I took the trouble to ring the complaints number: 08453007000 (press 1 immediately or listen to the prat bore on) and took it up with the operator. I shan't bore you with details of the heavy dose of complaint I laid on her other than to say she positively assured me that ALL drivers were trained to know that in such circumstances the passengers can request they be issued with a continuation permit or somesuch. I begged to differ. I informed her that in all my days travelling this route back and forth I have never once seen anybody obtaining a 'continuation' ticket from a driver. Doesn't happen. Moreover, is it really TfL policy that umpteen people are expected to form an orderly queue next to the driver's cubicle whilst he checks their cards and doles out a mysterious permit to travel ticket? What are these mythical tickets? Do they exist? What can they be like? Has anybody out there managed to obtain one? If so, how?

Better yet, the very next day I tried again when the same thing happened and I was turfed off at Oxford Circus. I asked the driver what's supposed to happen. This guy was a lot more forthcoming. He told me in no uncertain terms that drivers DO NOT issue such tickets. He was quite categorical that he was a driver and that any revenue collection or ticket issuing duties were no longer within his remit. There you go.... the proverbial horse's mouth. So I rang the London Buses switchboard back and told them I now wished to complain about them, the switchboard operators who had given me false and misleading information. Yet again I was assured that the bus drivers all knew the policy and had been trained accordingly. This was too much for me to stomach any longer. I'm afraid I rather let him have it. I implied that if he didn't mind I should rather prefer the evidence of my own eyes and experience than his contradicting blandishments. I asked him if he had ever travelled on the route in question and when he confirmed that he had not, I suggested that it was I rather than he who might therefore be considered an authority on the subject. Alas, utlimately all of this was once again just so much hot air. The poor fool went through the entire gamut of options available to me for complaint whereupon I was bound to inform him that, having exhausted all such avenues and a few more besides, I now considered myself perfectly at liberty to avoid paying the fares in whatever peaceable manner I saw fit. If by some chance I am ever caught 'bang-to-rights' I shall contest the fine in court, represent myself and cause such a stink to TfL and Aggriever they will rue they day they ever attempted to issue me with a fine.

I encourage you, dear reader to do the same. Call it fare-dodging if you must but hey, it's clearly the only language they understand.

I attach a link to an old article from the Evening Standard which, of course, entirely misses the point in its usual way:
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/news/londonnews/articles/14949863?source=Evening%20Standard

The last paragraphs are so good they are worth quoting here in full:

TfL claims its surveys show fare evasion on all routes is only 2.2 per cent and is even lower on bendy buses, at 2.1 per cent. A spokesman said: "There's nothing new about fare evasion and there's little difference between the bendy buses and the Croydon Tramlink or Docklands Light Railway. They are open systems.

What is more surprising is that we have got 98 per cent of people paying the correct fare. The fact is we are doing better than ever at catching people."

But TfL has admitted it needs to do more. It is to boost inspector numbers from 200 to 250 and may increase the £10 penalty fare.

Anybody out there been surveyed by TfL recently? I know I haven't. I have repeatedly given them the benefit of my wisdom such as it is ad hoc and pro bono, ad nauseum in voice email and writing. I'd like to find out more about these laughable surveys. Maybe it's time for an FOI request or two. I'm also thinking of podcasting one of these awful journeys and doing some surveying of my own.

:: DPA confusion, VOSA and MPs

2004-11-30T15:32:00.000Z

It seems all is not entirely lost regarding our rights to CCTV footage. Apparently, the jury's out at the European level and the UK courts may well be forced to retreat from their narrow interpretation of various sections of the DPA settled upon in FSA v. Durant. I am particularly heartened to read the following section of an article from http://www.securitypark.co.uk which can be accessed by clicking on the title of this post:

Data Protection Act Compliance for CCTV

Many Data Controllers and CCTV system operators will be aware of the court case “Durant v’s The Financial Services Authority” as this has generated a fair amount of publicity within the security sector following the extension of the Data Protection Act to include the images gathered by CCTV cameras.

This case is now receiving coverage again following a formal letter from the European Commission to the UK Government warning that it considers that certain aspects of the Data Protection Act 1998 do not comply with the EU Data Protection Directive in the wake of landmark decision in the Durant v’s FSA case.

The case was not directly concerned with CCTV but Lord Auld’s findings have impacted all areas of the Act including CCTV. The primary issues are what does and what does not constitute personal data and can the data affect a person’s privacy. Lord Auld’s findings included: "It seems to me that there are two notions that may give assistance. The first is whether the information is biographical in a significant sense. That it is going beyond the recording of the putative Data Subject’s involvement in a matter or an event that has no personal connotations. A life event in respect of which his privacy could not be said to be compromised.

"The second is one of focus. The information should have the putative Data Subject as its focus rather than some other person with whom he may have been informed, or some transaction or event in which he may have figured or held an interest. For example, as in this case an investigation into some other person’s conduct that he may have instigated. In short, it is information that affects his privacy, whether in his personal or family life, business or professional capacity."

Interpretation of this in relation to CCTV is that simply put:
1. If a data subject is picked up on a camera and their images are obtained as part of general surveillance and the images are not used in any way which affects them personally, then that subject’s privacy or expected right to privacy are not being infringed upon and some of that individual’s rights under the Act do not apply.
2. If the same images taken are in some way used in a manner or to assist in a matter, which does involve the subject in question then, most, if not all, of the previous conditions covered by the Act do apply in relation to that subject.

The likely outcome of this is that it may remove an obligation on the Data Controllers’ part to respond to a subject access request where the subject’s images were collected as part of general surveillance and the subject was not the target of the surveillance.

The more closely defined findings of Lord Auld may also affect the way in which the Police make a request for copies of CCTV footage under the Act. The case has no impact, however, on the requirement to have adequately and correctly documented procedures, audit trails and image authentication processes or any other of the requirements outside of Subject Access Requests as listed in the CCTV Code of Practice.

Datpro specialise in providing compliance solutions for CCTV systems and advises many of the UK’s leading surveyors, facilities and building management companies as well as Local Authorities and Police Forces on the Data Protection Act and how it affects them when CCTV systems are operated by them or on behalf of their clients. The Directors of Datpro have met with the Assistant Commissioner to discuss the issues raised by the findings of Lord Auld and it has been made very clear that in the majority of cases CCTV systems of the general type very definitely must comply with the Act, with the exception of certain subject access requests and in some instances disclosure to law enforcement agencies. This should go some way to correcting the view held by some Data Controllers that the findings of Lord Auld meant there was no need for compliance.

In a new development, the European Commission has sent a formal letter to the UK warning that it considers that certain aspects of the Data Protection Act 1998 do not comply with the EU Data Protection Directive in the wake of landmark decision in the Durant v’s FSA case.

Following the Durant case the findings of which concentrated in the main on the definition of personal data, and whilst the details of the letter have yet to be made public, it is understood that the European Commission considers that the approach taken in the EU Data Protection Directive requires that the UK follow a much broader definition of personal data.

The UK is obliged, under European law to implement EU Data Protection Directives into UK domestic law and the European Commission could, if the UK refuses to accept this, initiate procedures in the European Court of Justice, (ECJ) to force the UK to comply.

The CCTV Code of Practice contains, dependent on interpretation, some 90 points of law and good practice, all of which must be adhered to in order to ensure compliance with the Act. These cover areas such as image authentication, audit trail, staff training as well as the correctly worded and sited statutory signs that most users are familiar with.

In many instances CCTV system Data Controllers either seek advice from the CCTV Installation Company or interpret the legislation in house and implement their own solution. Unfortunately, very few installation companies understand all of the requirements of the act and in most cases rely on a “one size fits all” off the shelf solution that does not cover all criteria. Furthermore, the Act itself places the installer under no obligation to ensure that the equipment they install or the way it is operated by their clients meets all of the legal requirements of the Act.

In house interpretation is likely to be conducted by the system operators legal department and whilst this may cover the paperwork aspects it is unlikely to take into account the technological abilities and / or the positioning of the CCTV system itself.

Seems pretty clear to me from this that CCTV footage DOES fall within the scope of the act regardless of whether or not I am the subject of it in the strictest sense of the word. If we can believe what we are told here then so does the Information Commissioner. I shall have to pursue this matter further and the best means of doing that is through an appeal to the ICO. Futhermore, IC Officers are currently offering exactly the opposite advice on their helpline!

Among other glimmers of hope is an email I have sent to my local MP, Jeremy Corbyn, raising the entire issue of TfL/Aggrievers's treatment of its customers - his constituents - and something very similar I addressed to the Transport Select Committee. Both have confirmed receiving my communications and will reply in due course.

However, the best news I have to date is unequivocal interest from the Vehicle and Operator Services Agency who purport to be 'very interested' in my evidence concerning the practise of 'travelling forward' on the 73 route and other services. I am told that I should be contacted in a day or two and that an investigator will most likely accompany me on a sample journey to establish the truth of the matter him/herself. I shall look forward to that particular trip immensely.

If you are interested in reading more about the side-effects of Durant v. FSA I wholeheartedly commend to you the following article by Lilian Edwards: http://www.law.ed.ac.uk/ahrb/script-ed/issue2/durant.asp which deals in details with that case implications for all of us who live in the most watched society in the world.

:: DPA Myths & TfL absurdities

2004-11-28T17:32:00.000Z

On Friday morning a letter from TfL arrived at home after I had left for work. It had apparently been sent Special Delivery. My wife phoned and read me its contents:

Ref:ICT/047

24th November 2004

Dear Mr [NAME REDACTED]

Thank you for your letter dated 28th October 2004.

You have asked us to retain video footage taken aboard MA75 on the morning of Thursday 21st October 2004.

I have checked with Arriva and I am afraid we are not able to satisfy this part of your section 7 (1) request, as the footage was not extracted within time of receiving your subject access request, as the data is over written approximately every 240 hours. The footage is "owned" by Arriva and there was a misunderstanding between TfL and Arriva in extracting the data and it was overwritten for which we apologise.

If you do have any further enquiries regarding this please contact Arriva.

As for your letter dated 20th October 2004 requesting CCTV footage onboard buses, please contact the bus operators directly who will be happy to assist you further.

I am in the process of obtaining the other records you have requested and these will be despatched to you within the next 14 days.

Yours sincerely,

[NAME REDACTED]

Data Protection Manager

Unbelievably unsurprising! What, on the face of God's green Earth is going on here in the crazy mixed-up response? How can this be understood or explained?

I can't have the footage because:

1) It has been overwritten;
2) It is not "owned" by TfL;
3) There was a misunderstanding between TfL and Arriva.

So in order to request any footage before it gets overwritten, I must make a request and post it with payment (which presumably must clear if it is a cheque) and the whole thing must be processed within ten days if I am to ever have any hope whatever of obtaining it. Never happen. Genius.

Furthermore, what are the quotation marks around the word owned for, irony? Just who the Hell does own it? Laughably, I am invited to contact Aggriever if I have any further enquiries. What 'further enquiries' could I possibly have from a company that refuses to talk to its customers and will only refer me to TfL? Well I can think of one straight away... What was the nature of this mysterious misunderstanding? How utterly stupid and absurd.

But that's not all dear reader, oh no, not by a long shot. It gets better.

I found myself back at the Information Commissioner's website ready to carry out my threat of appealing to the Office of the Commissioner in order to have their procedures investigated. As I was trawling through various documents I came across the number of the IC's hotline and cursed myself for not having thought of that/found it sooner. I gave them a call.

I spoke at length with a chap on the end of the line who revealed to me new and disturbing intelligence. It seems, once again that I have been labouring under a misapprehension - one which seems to be commonly held. I'll put it plainly: you, John or Jane Doe, have, apparently, no right whatever to images, still or moving, taken of you by a fixed camera in a public place.

That's right, ever since the Durant vs FSA verdict (quo vide earlier in this sorry saga) the DPA covers only footage of which YOU are the explicit subject, that is to say footage which focuses and lingers upon you. Footage where you are incidentally part of the picture and can be clearly distinguished and identified among other subjects whilst not being singled out for 'special attention' by the data controller is no longer covered within the scope of the Data Protection Act. It follows from this that any footage taken of you using one (or a series) of fixed cameras which have been mounted for the causes of 'crime prevention' will similarly not fall within the scope of the act.

I quizzed him pretty thoroughly and no matter which way I sliced it it was still baloney. What if the police request footage? Easy, that's a criminal matter and the DPA doesn't apply so they can just get it - with a court order if necessary. Isn't there a minimum period for the duration of which data controllers must retain footage? Nope, the phrase 'reasonable amount' is judged a sufficient for that. Oh, and the data must be destroyed after a while, in the case of Aggriever/TfL it's 240 hours as we've seen.

Furthermore, they have forty days to respond to your request (not 21 as I had erroneously supposed) measured from the time they take receipt of your payment - three to five days if you pay by cheque. So even if I were entitled to that footage under the DPA it would have been destroyed/overwritten long before I would ever by able to do so through the correct channels. And you will simply have to accept their word that it has been dedstroyed/overwritten. So when tapes or hard drives of bus journeys mysteriously show up at a car boot sale or the council rubbish tip, do let the Information Commissioner's Office know.

:: Again TfL fall short of their obligations

2004-11-25T14:42:00.000Z

No change there then.

Having become even more exasperated by TfL's failure to respond to my Standard Subject Request for my complaints record and the footage taken of me I returned to the Information Commisioner in the hope of some sort of sanction.

I sent them the following email on the 23.11.04:

Dear sir/madam,

I have a simple enquiry which I would appreciate some help with.

On 28th October, 2004 I sent a formal Standard Subject Request to the Information Access & Compliance Team of Transport forLorn. This form requested footage of myself taken on board a TfL bus which I would like to have. Furthermore, I requested under FOI all record of the numerous complaints I had made to TfL in the preceding two months which went unanswered.

It is now almost a month later and I have yet to receive ANY communication on this matter from TfL.

What is the time scale in which they must respond to my request? Has that already passed? If so, what can I do to compel them to comply?

Thank you.

Today I received the following response:

25th November 2004

Dear Mr [NAME REDACTED]

Thank you for your recent correspondence regarding Transport forLorn.

Before we can give a substantive response to the matters you raise we require you to complete a Request for Assessment form. We have designed this form to help you provide us with the specific information we need. It can be accessed via the following link .

Completed forms should be posted back to us at the address at the bottom of the form.

Whilst we have an amount of correspondence awaiting allocation, we will make every effort to assign the matters detailed on your completed form to one of the Commissioner’s Compliance Officers, as soon as possible.

It is important that you quote the following reference number in all future correspondence regarding this matter:

RFA0053996

Failure to do so may delay the processing of your request.

If we do not receive your completed form within 28 days we will assume that you do not wish to pursue your request.

Yours sincerely

The Information Commissioner’s Office

So I visited the link and printed the Request for Assessment form. Taken at face value, the form, once completed and submitted, puts into motion an assessment by the Information Commissioner's Office as to the practices and processes used by TfL's Information Compliance Team in dealing with the request I made. I am given to understand that they are required to respond to my request within a 21 day period or, failing that, sooner with an explanation as to any delay. Clearly, they have already fallen short of this requiremement and therefore (it seems to me) TfL are already in breach of the Act.

If there's anybody out there who needs to contact TfL's Compliance Team when they fail to meet their statutory requirements, here is the direct number to call: 0207.9410062.

So I telephoned TfL's IACT (Information Acess & Compliance Team) to let them know that since they had clearly fallen short of their obligations I was left with no recourse other than to request an assessment of their proceedures by the ICO (Information Commissioner's Office). I was dealt with very matter-of-factly by a chap who wanted both my name and telephone number (which I duly gave for the millionth time to TfL) before curtly informing me that he would be putting the matter to TfL's lawyers. I also gave him the reference number for my SSR (Standard Subject Request) just to demonstrate that I was not in any way intimidated by his tone.

It is my very strong suspicion that should TfL's IACT actually bother responding to my request they will do their level best to avoid meeting it. I shall be very interested to see what form this evasion takes and what bogus legal grounds they attempt to use to justify their non-compliance. Whatever that might be it certainly will NOT be the end of the matter. I shall pursue this relentlessly down whatsoever avenues are available to me until I can compel TfL not merely to *actually engage* their customers as they are statutorily required to do, but also until they begin to address the appalling failures of their miserable 'customer service' and their shitty operation.

As promised I also contacted the VOSA (Vehicle Operator Standards Authority) with the following electronic missive:

Dear Ms. [NAME REDACTED],

I am writing to you in the hope that the VOSA will take fast action against TfL and the various bus operators on urgent matters of passenger safety.

For over two months now I have endeavoured to inform TfL of routine safety violations aboard their buses. Thus far they have seen fit to ignore my concerns completely. I now place the matter in the hands of the VOSA.

In short, the bus operators are routinely overcrowding buses to the extent that passenger safety is compromised. This has particularly proven to be the case on the 73 route from Seven Sisters to Victoria. However, I have observed the same disregard for health and safety aboard any number of buses on different routes.

There are two aspects to my complaint.

1/. The bus operators have, in their wisdom, completely abandoned any efforts to control the flow of passengers on or off the new 'bendybuses'. They allow passengers to board at will through three sets of doors on or near stops to the extent that buses are crush-loaded during peak periods and passengers pressed up against the doors. These doors have no aural or
visual warning as to their sudden opening and I have witnessed many occasions where passengers have almost fallen through these doors at or near stops. Eventually a member of the public will fall into the path of an oncoming bicycle or other road user. The potential for serious injury is very real. Perversely, these doors have an aural warning in the form of a series of
beeps upon closing.

2/. Owing to the fact that the operators - for financial reasons - do not run an adequate number of buses for the 'service', these buses are routinely crush loaded during peak periods and passengers are permitted to travel 'forward'. By this I mean to say that on almost any London bus during peak periods you will find passengers travelling forward of notices specifically
forbidding travel 'beyond this point'. This safety violation is now endemic aboard London buses and allow the operators to abuse the terms of their licenses. Passengers during these periods enjoy neither comfort nor safety despite the mendacious posters of TfL asserting the very opposite.

I attach a number of photographs which I have taken clearly illustrating exactly what I am talking about. Should you wish to confirm this matter for yourself, you have only to glance at a bus between 8:00 and 9:00 am - the 73 would suffice.

If you are in anyway interested in my battle to have TfL and the bus operators obey the law and treat passengers like valued customers and not cattle I would urge you to peruse my weblog where I have made a detailed record of my efforts to publicise the appalling service offered by TfL. et al.

You may find the weblog here: http://73omnibus.blogspot.com/

For my part, I consider it nothing short of scandalous.

Regards,

[NAME REDACTED]
The Man on the 73 Omnibus

I await a response from the VOSA and will duly publish same here.

You will also recall that I have had lengthy correspondence with the LTUC (London Transport Users Committee) about the 73 route. My last communication with them was on the 31.10.04 and can be found under the rubric '::Top Five for the LTUC'. Since I have yet to hear back from them I gave them a call yesterday to see when I might expect a reply. I am told that this should be forthcoming in the next few days. Watch this space.

In addition - perhaps a long shot - I contacted my local MP (one of the very few for whom I have any time at all) Jeremy Corbyn, (Lab, Islington) with the following plaintive email:

Dear Mr. Corbyn,

It is with very deep frustration and considerable anger that I now write to you, my local MP, in an effort to have something done about the cavalier treatment of bus passengers by TfL and Arriva.

Since the introduction of the Citaro 'bendy-buses' in September and over the subsequent two months I have pursued nearly every avenue of legitimate complaint about the running of this service to absolutely no avail.

I am no Routemaster diehard or serial complainer. I simply seek to be able to travel to my place of work in relative comfort and with relative speed. This is no longer possible during peak periods aboard the 73. Without any other axe to grind I promise you this service is now considerably WORSE than ever it was before.

Not only do TfL operate a dangerously overcrowded and poorly run service, in a monumentally arrogant piece of NewSpeak the seek to have us believe that this service is 'better' and 'more comfortable'.

I have taken the matter up with the ASA, the LTUC the HSE, various newspapers, the Commissioner for Information and now finally yourself. I have spent two months of my own time documenting and photographing some of my experiences aboard this appallingly overcrowded route resulting in a weblog of over 25,000 words and absolutely NO action taken nor even any significant acknowledgment from TfL.

If you are in any way interested in helping the long-suffering passengers aboard the 73 route I would urge you to have a look at the weblog I have created to document this minor scandal. To do so please visit here:

http://73omnibus.blogspot.com

Indeed, I am now sick to my very heart of being asked to explain myself in writing on this matter. I know more about these buses and this route than I ever cared to and it has so far been for absolutely nothing. Now I understand a great deal more about the causes of apathy and cynicism in this country.

"Put it in writing, please. We cannot accept complaints unless they are put in writing." I now see that this is the mantra of those who will never do anything about a complaint - this is merely the first of many tactics to fob off those who would seek to ameliorate, adjust, advise, or complain. Why on earth would I ever bother to put anything in writing ever again?

I have made numerous complaints about my bus journey to TfL and each time, as is my right, requested a formal written response for those complaints. These have not been forthcoming. Since that period I have, under the FOI and the DPA requested the entire record of my complaints and the manner in which they have come to be ignored in addition to CCTV footage taken of myself during one of these journeys.

At all times I have followed the conventions and procedures dictated by the various bodies with which I have had to engage. These have failed one after another as I still have not received the necessary communications from TfL - communications which they are statutorily obliged to provide.

It seems that nobody is prepared to do a damned thing about the way that TfL treats its customers and fails to protect the public interest whilst draining the public purse.

There seems little course of action for me now other than to organise direct, confrontational action against Transport forLorn and Aggriever which may well place me into conflict with the law. I do not wish this to happen but I am acutely aware that since my complaints have been ignored, I have the moral right to pursue my case and explain to others why I feel justified in so doing. Why should I be expected to adhere to rules and conventions which remain unobserved by TfL and Aggriever? I feel so strongly about this matter that I am now prepared to be arrested in order to draw attention to this situation.

These companies routinely violate health & safety regulations, allowing dangerous conditions to obtain aboard their buses, fail to collect revenues from passengers using the route thereby adding to the overcrowding. You may not know it, but many regard the 73 as a 'courtesy bus'. There are no adequate checks on either passenger numbers or ticket purchases. Indeed, things are so bad I now avoid paying for these journeys where possible. It cannot possibly be described as a 'service' and I refuse to pay to be treated like cattle.

Is there anything you can do to help me compel TfL to adequately explain themselves and to rectify the appalling misery they daily inflict on thousands of commuters - many of them your constituents?

Thank you for your time.

If any of you out there are aware of any further action I can take against TfL please do get in touch. Similarly, if anybody wishes to join forces with me to escalate and publicise this protest I urge you to get in touch. It should be abundantly clear to all bus users by now that they are being dismally failed by the authorities from whom they have every right to expect a good deal more. Over the last week I have systematically explored other bus options and found nearly all of them wanting. It's no secret, of course, but unless we begin to take determined action against the pathetic mismanagement and downright neglect of these services we will continue to be treated like cattle. It doesn't matter whether or not you are unfortunate enough to be herded onto the 73, indeed if you have the same or similar problems on board another route I would be more than happy to advise/assist in helping to get you started with your own efforts to have something done about it.

To contact me in confidence: manon73omnibus@hotmail.com

Thank you for once again taking the time to read this blog.

:: The Return of the Man on the 73 Omnibus

2004-11-23T11:08:00.000Z

Actually, I never really went away.

It's true that I haven't been in a position to advance the cause of this blog overmuch recently. My contract in Hammersmith finished and I took a three week holiday at home before starting work again. Furthermore, I have pretty much exhausted the avenues of complaint available to the ordinary citizen and there was little left to do other than wait for responses from the various parties. It won't shock you to discover that I have still had no answers either to my initial complaints nor my FOI or DPA requests. In fact I decided to find out what was happening with them today as it seems that sufficent time has passed for TfL to reply.

I rang TfL and asked to speak to someone in their Information Access & Compliance Team. Eventually I was informed that a response is currently being drafted and that I should receive same within a few days. The party could not confirm the nature of the response but I am fully expecting to be denied access to the CCTV footage on the grounds that the DPA does not come into force until January of next year, I believe. If this does prove to be the case I shall either fight as best I can or else wait until January before submitting a fresh request This leaves the full record of my complaints which I requested under FOI. I certainly hope that this will be made available to me and, indeed, I have various means at my disposal to ensure that the FULL record is made available to me.

What I haven't done yet but feel I must is to contact VOSA regarding the safety violations aboard many London buses and which I have certainly documented aboard the 73. Apologies for the delay on this but I'm sure you'll understand that this is a 'calling' rather than a full-time job for me.

In addition, I should re-contact the LTUC to discover what, if anything, they plan to say or do about the issues I have raised with them.

Today I have also sent a plaintive email to Jeremy Corbyn, MP for Islington, in the hope that he may be interested in helping his constituents fight for the obvious improvements needed before TfL or Arriva can reasonably call the 73 a 'Service'. To this end I shall also try to contact Gwyneth Dunwoody or some other member of the Transport Select Committee and raise these matters with that body.

And yet it is my sad duty to have to report to you that all my efforts thus far have lead to absolutely no improvements on the 'Service' and no action taken against TfL or Aggriever. The implications of this are depressingly clear to me: there really is no point or value in complaining to TfL about any damn thing at all. They ignore their statutory duty to respond to their customers; they routinely violate safety regulations; they care not one wit for the comfort of their passengers and are utterly unnaccountable to the public which fund them. This is an absolute disaster in terms of customer service and should rightly be a minor scandal requiring immediate action. I do not believe that this will ever happen by adhering to the normal avenues of complaint.

That said, I should now advise that anybody wishing to compel TfL to even respond to their complaints - much less improve the 'Service' no longer attempt to do so through these channels. Believe me, this constitutes a worthless waste of your valuable time. Instead, I would urge you instead to take such direct action - as is within the law - against TfL and their alleged 'Service'.

The first and most important of these is to no longer pay for your journey on this bus route where possible. If you are approached by a ticket inspector, whether or not you have a ticket, politely inform them that you have no intention of showing them your ticket. They have NO POWERS of arrest or enforcement and if they are foolish enough to lay hands upon you, they will be guilty of an assault on your person. You are under no obligation to even speak to them if you choose not to do so. If they bother you greatly, simply dismount at the next stop. There is absolutely nothing they can do.

Furthermore, should you see an inspector boarding a bus, announce this fact loadly to the bus in general to give plenty of warning to the other passengers. For my part, I usually carry a weekly Travelcard so effectively I have little choice as to whether I withhold my fare but I certainly shall NOT comply with request from ticket inspectors to see it.

Finally, I shall reinstitute my flyposting and sticker campaign in the hope of bringing these problems to the attention of a wider audience.

Regards.

:: I answer a critic

2004-11-02T06:39:00.000Z

Every single one of the comments I have received since this blog began has been broadly supportive with the exception of the following which I received on Saturday last. In the interests of balance I shall quote it in full:

how bad was life on the old routemasters, then?

more people travelling on the buses now than before. surely this accounts for some of the overcrowding issues. it's not an answer, or an excuse, but it is a valid point. More people travelling on buses, means less people in cars, which in turn means less busy roads, which means faster bus journeys.

wasting Arriva's time by asking for video footage, costs money. money that could be spent on more buses on the road.

Suggesting ways for people to fare dodge reduces revenue. Again money that could be used to improve the service you are complaining about.

I am always prepared to engaged with reasonable criticism and the comment contains some valid questions.

How bad was life on the old Routemaster, then?

Not perfect by any stretch, but better than before their replacement. I could actually get a seat for my journey at least half the time in peak periods. Since the introduction of the Shitaros I can almost never get a seat for any stage of my journey during peak times. Much has been made of disability access on the Shirtaros but I can't see that being 'wheelchair friendly' is of any use at all when the bus is too crowded to even allow you onboard. On the Routemasters one could mount and dismount at will; now we are all the prisoners of the driver.

More people travelling on the buses now than before. surely this accounts for some of the overcrowding issues?

The 73 is the most used bus route in london with something in the order of 17,000,000 passenger journeys per annum. It is reasonable therefore to expect Aggriever and TfL to have anticipated the requirements and any necessary growth in capacity. If they have not done so then they are incompetent. If they continue to alienate passengers in this fashion then they will return to their cars rather than suffer the misery public transport.

Suggesting ways for people to fare-dodge reduces revenue. Again money that could be used to improve the service you are complaining about.

I really must take issue with you here. No doubt you will have heard today that in answer to a question tabled in Parliament, it was revealed that TfL bus inspectors have caught, on average 1 fare-dodger per day since Ken became Mayor! That's a mind-blowing piece of incompetence heaped on top of a staggering waste of money. Since it is patently obvious that TfL doesn't appear to give a rat's arse about protecting its own revenues you expect that we should all believe that somehow they're going to be using profits to improve the service? Need I say more? When the time comes Aggriever and TfL will dividend any money they haven't already squandered to shareholders and executives whilst telling us that there isn't enough money to properly improve the service. As for wasting Aggriever's time, well since they've wasted plenty of my time I don't have the slightest compunction about this and find it very odd that somebody else does. Since I believe I have amply demonstrated that TfL and Aggriever are NOT, as my critic seems to suggest, interested in improving their service, but rather in generating profits. The fact that TfL are incompetent in even this misguided preoccupation just makes the whole situation even more scandalous as far as I'm concerned.

So I find I really can't accept these criticisms. I feel that we are perfectly justified in avoiding paying for this apalling service until such time as it is managed with competence, comfort and efficiency. It's really the least we should expect in a modern European capital.

:: Standard acknowledgement letter from Aggriever

2004-11-02T06:26:00.000Z

I did receive a reply from Aggriever last week which I mentioned but have yet to publish. It's not fantastically exciting but here it is, for what it's worth:

27 October 2004

Ref:21/PB/C04/2722

Dear [NAME REDACTED]

Thank you for your telephone call to London Buses. I was concerned to hear fo the events you describe.

I have asked the manager of Lee Vallet Garage, who is responsible for the running of route 73, to investigate this incident. Please be assured that we will endeavour to complete our investigations as promptly as possible. All of our enquiries are investigated in details and this process may take up to 21 days. We will reply to you as soon as we receive the Manager's report.

If you would like to discuss this matter in the meantime, please do not hesitate to contact the Customer Services Office.

Yours sincerely

[NAME REDACTED]

Customer Services Officer

I had to ring to be reminded of the 'incident' and to see how friendly Aggriever Customer Services were. The letter related to an evening where a 73 driver pulled into the wrong bay at King's Cross to drop off without picking up the passengers in the correct bay.

:: Top Five for the LTUC

2004-10-31T14:02:00.000Z

I've given myself a couple of days to limit myself to five points for the LTUC and this is thebest I could do. Let me know if there's anything substantive that I've missed. I'm certain there's more than five things wrong with the 73 but hey, we've got to start somewhere...

October 31, 2004
LTUC
Freepost NAT7695
LONDON EC1B 1BR

Dear [NAME REDACTED],
In your last you requested that I condense my concerns into five main points. I shall do below. You also state that some of the issues I raised with TfL/Arriva were responded to in detail. Whilst this is true I did not consider the responses adequate or relevant in the main. Indeed, I felt that the responses constituted a blanket denial of the claims I was making rather than a considered appraisal.

The Citaros as currently operated are routinely exceeding their passenger capacity. This results in discomfort and danger and can in no way be considered an improvement upon the former service. This represents extremely poor value, particularly in the light of the misleading and mendacious claims made for the route by TfL. I have strenuously objected to the insulting ‘Things Are Getting Better…’ poster and have raised a complaint with the Advertising Standards Authority. I am given to understand that many similar complaints have been made.

The operation of the doors on the Citaros is patently unsafe. There is no warning whatsoever as to their imminent opening and I have witnessed passengers who have been forced against these doors due to overcrowding almost fall from the bus. I have almost fallen myself on one occasion. Moreover, the design of the Citaro is so ruthlessly efficient that the passenger has effectively been ‘designed out’ of the equation. There is a complete lack of clarity about the capacity of the Citaros; Mercedes claim 149+driver but this is not the figure quoted by TfL in their risible ‘Factsheets’, which give the capacity at 130. If the latter is true then the Citaros are without doubt running above maximum capacity during peak periods. If the former is true it is far too many and allows of a space 37x37cm for each standing passenger. This is less space than the 49x49cm Nazis allotted their victims in the cattle cars to Auschwitz.

Neither TfL nor Arriva have any control over the number of passengers who board the bus at any given stop. The only control the driver has is whether s/he opens the door or not. When opened passengers will pile in as they see fit. Many of these passengers can successfully dodge fares at whim. In the rare event that they might be ‘caught’, anecdotal evidence suggests that it is more economical for passengers to pay the occasional fine than buy tickets at face vale. This, coupled with the non-functional Oyster Card readers has lead to a complete failure to regulate the financial performance of the service. How are passengers to believe that they should see improvement in the service when the operators cannot even protect their own revenues? No doubt fat-cat executive salaries and shareholder dividends will not be affected by such a basic abdication of responsibilities.

The TfL complaints system is opaque and self-serving. They do not respond to complaints within the statutory limits they themselves so proudly trumpet. In fact, despite clear and unequivocal requests that I be sent formal written responses to my complaints I have received only one out of fifteen. Furthermore, TfL merely forward the complaint to the operator who denies everything, which TfL subsequently parrots back to the complainant. There is no means for the public to determine the number and nature of complaints made, as TfL does not publish this information in any meaningful way. TfL having awarded the operating license to Arriva are hardly likely to put information in the public domain that demonstrates their poor judgment. Most concerning is the alleged practice of filling repeat complainants under ‘crank’. This is, allegedly, ‘unofficial practice’ in TfL customer services according to an insider who contacted me through my weblog. Since I am currently in the process of requesting access to my complaints record under the Data Protection Act I hope to shed more light on this and how complaints at TfL are dealt with generally.

Throughout the bus system there is reliance by TfL and the operators on using the forward space of the bus to allow passengers to stand despite notices clearly forbidding this. This violation of safety and allows TfL and Arriva to generate revenues, which should not be theirs. If there is not enough space on board they should not allow more passengers to board. If there are not enough buses to operate the route then Arriva should be compelled to provide the requisite number. As things stand they are profiting by failing in their duty of care towards passengers. This is not a situation that should be allowed to continue. I have contacted the HSE about this matter to discover that they are not the body that enforces such regulations in this instance. I am advised to redirect my complaint to the Vehicle & Operator Service Agency (VOSA), a division of the Department for Transport.

May I thank you for taking the trouble to look into these matters. I am grateful that there is a body such as the LTUC as you are clearly much needed.

Sincerely,

[NAME REDACTED]
The Man on the 73 Omnibus
http://73omnibus.blogspot.com

:: More correspondence...

2004-10-29T11:21:00.000Z

Not much to report today. I had to see a man about a dog so I took the morning off. Consequently, I didn't get to the Beresford Road stop until perhaps eleven by which time, as we all know, the 73 is relatively deserted.

On a different note, I did manage to slice the top off the thumb of my right hand in a wooden mandolin whilst making a late dinner last night. That's the vegetable slicing mandolin; not the string instument. So dangerous are these in retrospect that I was forced to detroy the offending item immediately and suggest you do the same if you have one. But I digress....

Two items of correspondence relating to my ongoing struggle arrived at my home yesterday. The first was from the LTUC. You will recall that the committee requested that I put forward my complaint in writing. To this end I printed this weblog in its entirety and mailed it to them. Hence the following:

Dear Mr [NAME REDACTED]

Concerns with aspects of 73 service

Thank you for the papers you sent to me.

Clearly you have carried out a detailed correspondence about various issues to do with route 73 services. It would appear that some of the issues have been responded to in detail.

It would be of considerable help to us if you could earmark the main issues (perhaps 5 in all) that you remain concerned about and we will gladly do all we can to help.

Yours sincerely

[NAME REDACTED]

I'm currently condensing this entire blog into point form. Five of them.

:: Legal argument is entered into

2004-10-28T11:49:00.000Z

Not wishing to let a moment slip by I replied to TfL's Data Protection Manager as follows:

28th October, 2004
Information Access & Compliance Team
Transport forLorn
6th Floor, Windsor House
London SW1H 0TL
Fax 020 7941 0185

REF: ICT/047
Dear [NAME REDACTED],

Thank you for your speedy reply to my request. It is indeed a pity that customer services at Transport forLorn do not demonstrate the same professionalism – much less even manage to fulfill their statutory obligations.

I trust that you will find enclosed the information you have requested from me. I have made out a cheque for £10.00 payable to TfL by way of payment. I imagine that you will find this acceptable.

In a nutshell, I am seeking footage of myself taken aboard MA75 between 8:20 and 8:50am on Thursday, October 21, 2004. To aid you in identifying myself and redacting the identities of third parties I have enclosed the requested passport photograph. I should be grateful if this could be returned as I may have need of it again soon.

I am further requesting (and have written separate correspondence on this matter) a full record of my complaints to TfL customer services and any internal correspondence that concerns or identifies me within the meaning of the Act. You should discover at least some of these filed under ref:138965/AM and 144586.

I note with interest your citation of Durant V FSA and have perused the judgment at length. Having done so I am quite confident that nothing within said judgment impinges upon my rights to access both the footage I request and, indeed, all of the records held by TfL concerning my complaints and communications with them over the last eight weeks.

Most of Durant V FSA hinges upon the precise legal definitions of key sections of the Act and, indeed, Durant lost in part because some of the data to which he was seeking access did not fall within the scope of what Judge Zeidman, QC believed constituted "personal data". Further to this the document discusses the tension between the disclosure of what can be deemed "personal data" and the redaction of specific data to protect the privacy of third parties. There are also conclusions drawn about Durant's intent to use the DPA as a tool for discovery in Third Party litigation.

However you decide to respond to my submission I am confident that the following quote from the judgment establishes prima facie my right to have access to a copy of footage taken of me whilst I am aboard a TfL bus. Article 2(a) of the 1995 Directive defines "personal data" as:

"any information relating to an identified or identifiable natural person (data subject); an identifiable person is one who can be identified, directly or indirectly, in particular by reference to an identification number or to one or more factors specific to his (sic) physical, physiological, mental, economic, cultural or social identity;"

Furthermore, Section 1(1) of the 1998 Act develops the notion: "personal data means data which relate to a living individual who can be identified

(a) from those data, or
(b) from those data and other information which is in the possession of, or is likely to come into the possession of, the data controller,

and includes any expression of opinion about the individual and any indication of the intentions of the data controller or any other person in respect of the individual;"

I am only to happy to set your mind at rest concerning that appeal judgment which is based upon a completely different set of circumstances.

Thank you for your kind attention in dealing with this matter. I look forward to hearing from you again soon.

Yours faithfully,

[NAME REDACTED].

I look forward to publishing his response and any little surprises that my complaints record might reveal.

Oh, I've passed my stop again, silly me!

:: Apologies, correspondence & update...

2004-10-28T08:36:00.000Z

I really must apologise to all of you who may have attempted to visit this blog over the last 24hrs. It seems that Google, who run this whole bang shoot, had major technical issues the details of which I but dimly understand and won't bore you with. Unfortunately this may well have had the effect of putting off a new readership. Oh well, I'll just have to redouble my efforts.

As I wasn't able to post details of my journey yesterday let me now sketch them out for you. Beresford Road at 8:30am MA71 was already full to bursting with three passengers forward yet still saw fit to stop and pretend there might be room for more. Next along was a pretty full 476 before MA58 showed up at about 8:37am. This was just over half full; certainly no seats left at all. As the aft doors opened a middle-aged gent almost fell onto me having been ambushed by the doors. He took it in surprisingly good humour and I discussed the danger with him for a few minutes.

Then I noticed two TfL Money-Collectors working through the bus, writing out more than one fine for hapless passengers at the back. They didn't even check my travelcard! I couldn't resist having a friendly chat with them about the worthlessness of the service. At the end of a short exchange, the Money-Collectors' fallback postion was the time-honoured, yet utterly discredited unphilosophy of The Jobsworth: "I'm just trying to do my job..." A few seated passengers enjoyed a wry smile. Not often you get to do that aboard the 73 these days.

Despite Aggriever and TfL's unwilligness to put conductors on their buses you'll be delighted to hear that they can employ a small army to remove my posters. I began by taping them up over their ridiculous propaganda posters from Kings Cross to Stoke Newington but pretty soon they would be torn down on a daily basis. This has meant I have to resort to more 'robust' means of telling the travelling public what Aggriever and TfL will not. A small packet of superstrength wallpaper paste and access to a colour laserprinter goes a long way however, so I expect to outlast the poor schnooks whom Transport forLorn or Aggriever employ on minimum wage to help safeguard their increasingly poor image. "Sorry guys, I'm just trying to do my job of holding your employers to their own promises, statements and statutory requirements."

To my great delight I saw a story on the BBC1 London regional news about a TfL 'initiative' in Old Street. In an effort to combat fly-posting along sections of the street TfL have printed large stickers with the word 'CANCELLED' stencilled across them and their logo at tyhe bottom right. This obscures the details of the events many of the posters are advertising and will also have the very short-term effect of fooling a few people into thinking the event itself has been cancelled. It seems to me that this is a wonderful gift to passengers who wish to protest about the poor service of their bus operators. You may therefore expect, gentle reader, to be able to download your own 'CANCELLED' flyer from this very blog very soon! I'm certain TfL will be delighted to have their bus routes cancelled in similar fashion. Alternatively, if some kind mole in the ministry can actually LAY HANDS on the some of the actual TfL posters themselves I would be delighted to make the acquaintance.... Either way, watch this space.

To turn to the recent correspondence we have a number of interesting items in our in-tray. The first comes from the Data Protection Manager at TfL and concerns my 'Standard Subject Access Form' of 20th October requesting footage of myself taken aboard MA75 between 8:20 and 8:50am on Thursday, October 21, 2004. Here's the letter:

Ref:ICT/047

25th October 2004

Dear [NAME REDACTED]

Thank you for your letter dated 20th October 2004.

To enable us to deal with your request, I require the following information.

* please specify the information you require
* proof of your address such as a utilities bill
* a copy of a recnt photo such as a passport photo
* a fee of £10.00 made payable to Transport for London

This is to ensure we are searching under the correct details and we send any information to the correct address.

Please not that there has been recent case law on the Data Protection Act 1998 (Durant V FSA) and this will mean that some of the information you requested may not be covered under the Act and so there is no legal obligation on TfL to supply you the information.

We will not proceed with your request until we are in possession of the above information.

Yours sincerely

[NAME REDACTED] Data Protection Manager

Mmmmmhhh.... looks to me like they might try to hide behind some judgment based upon an entirely different set of circumstances and hope that I won't be bothered to question it. Off I go to read Durant V FSA. Click HERE if you've nothing better to do.

Most of Durant V FSA hinges upon the precise legal definitions of key sections of the Act and, indeed, Durant lost in part because some of the data to which he was seeking access did not fall within the scope of what Judge Zeidman, QC believed constituted "personal data". Further to this the document discusses the tension between the disclosure of what can be deemed "personal data" and the redaction of specific data to protect the privacy of third parties. There are also conclusions drawn about Durant's intent to use the DPA as a tool for discovery in Third Party litigation.

However TfL responds to my submission I am confident that the following quote from the judgment establishes prima facie my right to have access to a copy of footage taken of me whilst I am aboard a TfL bus. Article 2(a) of the 1995 Directive defines "personal data" as "any information relating to an identified or identifiable natural person (data subject); an identifiable person is one who can be identified, directly or indirectly, in particular by reference to an identification number or to one or more factors specific to his (sic) physical, physiological, mental, economic, cultural or social identity;"

Furthermore, Section 1(1) of the 1998 Act develops the notion: "personal data means data which relate to a living individual who can be identified

(a) from those data, or
(b) from those data and other information which is in the possession of, or is likely to come into the possessiom of, the data controller,

and includes any expression of opinion about the individual and any indication of the intentions of the data controller or any other person in respect of the individual;"

That's crystal clear as far as I am concerned and in my opinion clearly denotes my right to access both footage taken of myself whilst on board a bus and ALL records concerning the numerous complaints which I have made to TfL and which have largely gone unanswered. I shall be quoting the judgment to TfL's Data Protection Manager to ensure that TfL comply with the Act instead of attemting to hide behind an appeal judgment based upon a completely different set of circumstances.

The second item of correspondence is an email from the HSE. You will recall that I had been trying to draw their attention to the dangerous practise of riding forwards and the unsafe operation of the doors on the Mercedes Shitaros. I am politely informed that I am barking up the wrong tree. The HSE are, however, quick to point out another tree up which I may bark. I quote the letter in full:

Dear [NAME REDACTED]

I write in relation to your complaint, dated 13 October 2004, regarding the new Citaros buses operated by Arriva, particularly on the 73 bus route service.

The Health and Safety Executive does not deal with all health and safety issues. The HSE enforces the Health and Safety at Work etc. Act 1974 and the way work activity affects people, however, this does not extend to the design of public transport.

Issues relating to vehicle design, operation and use is dealt with by Vehicle and Operator Services Agency, (VOSA), a division of the Department of Transport, who enforce the Vehicle Construction and Use Regulations 1986. VOSA provides a range of licensing, testing and enforcement services with the aim of improving the road-worthiness standards of vehicles, and ensuring the compliance of operators and drivers with road traffic legislation, including bus services. Therefore, I recommend that if you wish to pursue your complaint that you contact VOSA. Their website address is www.vosa.gov.uk Telephone: 0870 6060440 By post: Berkeley House, Croydon Street, Bristol, BS5 0DA.

I am sorry that HSE is unable to assist you further with this matter.

Yours sincerely

[ NAME REDACTED]
HM Inspector of Health and Safety
Health and Safety Executive
Rose Court
2 Southwark Bridge
London
SE1 9HS

Well I can't say I'm not a little surprised. I had no suspicion that the HSE would not be the interested body and nobody I rang sought to redirect me. Frankly I have never even heard of the VOSA before, but hey, maybe they're genuinely motivated by the public welfare. Anything's possible in this mixed-up crazy world. So I guess it's off to the VOSA with all speed.... I wonder how long it will be before I hit a brick wall on this one? Answers on the back of an envelope to the usual address in the usual manner.

Enjoy your trip!

:: Letter to the Health & Safety Executive

2004-10-25T11:47:00.000Z

Here's a copy of my letter to the HSE regarding the Citaros' doors and the general overcrowding and 'travelling forwards'. Should you wish to send a similar complaint then click on the header for this posting to download the .doc pro forma.

FMU10
Health & Safety Executive
Rose Court
2 Southwark Bridge
London SE1 9HS

To Whom it May Concern,

I would like to draw your attention to the violations of health and safety regulations that are daily occurring on public bus routes. This particularly concerns the overcrowding of the new Mercedes Citaros on the 73 route operated by Arriva and TfL although I have routinely seen the same violations on other routes. In essence, the drivers of these new buses are fundamentally unable to regulate the flow of passengers on and off the vehicles which results in overcrowding and the dangerous phenomenon of what I term ‘travelling forwards’. Travelling forwards is the act or habit of allowing passengers in the forward section of the bus to travel ahead of signs directly telling them they must not do so. I have repeatedly attempted to draw both Arriva and TfL’s attention to this issue without success. This is because allowing ‘travelling forwards’ directly impacts upon their performance targets. Nonetheless, this neglect of their duty of care towards their passengers and customers would clearly result in legal action in the event of accident or injury.

I have documentary evidence in the form of photographs of this situation although I feel that anyone who regularly travels London buses during the rush hours would be able to testify to exactly the same violations I am describing. Should you wish to view such evidence I can happily make it available to you.

Furthermore, it is also my duty to inform you of the inherent dangerousness of the doors to the Mercedes Citaros currently being operated by TfL and Arriva. Again I have, in vain, informed both companies of my concerns - concerns that they have seen fit to dismiss.

The central plank of my concerns about the operation of these doors is as follows. There is no aural or written warning indicating that these doors open suddenly at or near bus stops. Coupled with the very real overcrowding during rush hours during which passengers are routinely forced against these doors whilst traveling, the situation becomes clearly dangerous. I myself have almost fallen from these doors near stops when they have been automatically opened by the drivers and I have watched others ‘almost fall’ as well. In my opinion it is only a matter of time before a passenger or other road user is injured as a result of this oversight. You will no doubt be told that the doors do make a loud beeping sound upon closing and this is true, yet no warning OF ANY KIND is in force to inform the hard-of-hearing, visually impaired or for that matter, able-bodied passengers of the opening of these doors.

I should be grateful if you would notify me of what, if any, response the HSE might make. If it should transpire that you are unable to help me in pursuing this matter I should be further grateful if you might point me in the right direction so that swift action can be taken against TfL and Arriva in order to remedy these dangerous practices.

Sincerely,

XXX XXXXXXX.

:: Thing are a little quiet just now

2004-10-25T09:39:00.000Z

Okay, I've had it variously pointed out to me that half-term holidays are upon us, thereby explaining the abnormal quietude which has descended upon the 73 route since Friday. And just like Friday, this morning's journey was smiles and laughter by comparison with the normal run-of-the-mill. But I didn't take a 73 as a 476 was quickly upon the scene and I think I do need to establish that I'm not actually masochistic when it comes to my bus journeys.

At this point I have to inform you that my days of riding the 73 twice daily may be coming to an close - if only temporarily. The end of my work contract in Hammersmith comes as a blessed relief in some very real ways: I shall no longer have to endure the appalling crush of the 73, the dog's breakfast we know as King's Cross/St. Pancras railway station or the mind-numbing. spirit crushing boredom of the 'work' I was doing. Two cheers for all that!

However, this DOES NOT mean I am in any way diminishing my efforts or 'scaling back' my campaign to have something done to improve this route. If anything, I shall be escalating the protest with a package of actions directed against the companies concerned until they acknowledge their customers and address the issues.

To this end there are currently a number of tracks of correspondence which may lead to several positive outcomes:

I am pursuing TfL under the DPI in a 'test case' for camera footage and records of ALL their dealings with me

I have an ongoing and detailed complaint with the LTUC

I have ongoing press interest in the story from a number of quarters

A complaint has been lodged with the ASA

A complaint has also been lodged with the HSE.

If these issues are not dealt with and the service improved then I shall, at the very least, have demonstrated the ineffectualness of official channels of complaint thereby saving other angry punters their valuable time and effort.

Therefore if you are no longer treated to a daily rant inspired by my awful sojourns to and from work, I hope you will understand. I expect I shall mostly be posting follow-up correspondence to that which I have already begun. Needless to say, there's nothing to prevent you, gentle readers, from posting YOUR daily experiences via the comments function. Indeed, that was my hope from the very start.

Since TfL and/or Aggriever have been quite committed in the removal of the many flyers I have taped up at busstops I have to resort to other means of posting these. I made it a point NEVER to tape my flyers over useful information such as timetables and the like, preferring the small and large '..getting better...' posters. I shall keep doing this when time permits and would be delighted if somebody else would also be so public-spirited as to have a go themselves. Once again let me remind you that if enough of us take these kind of actions - actions that cost Aggriever and TfL time and money to address - we can compel them into change. Be very clear: these companies will not do anything about the problems of the 73 Route or that of any other service until they are compelled to.

Let's ridicule their brands which they value so highly by denigrating them and reducing their power of positive association. If, in the public's mind, TfL become better known as Transport forLorn and Arriva becomes Aggriever then we shall have gone a long way towards presenting the public with a more truthful image of what these companies represent. Invent your own straplines and subvert the genuine company logos until they better resemble what you feel about their services.

Call their bluff on their complaints proceedure. Make sure you follow the process through to the end and demand a written response to ensure that the companies live up to their statutory obligations. They CAN be held to account - just maybe not how you might expect.

It's also very important to ask the right questions of their claims. For example, I am determined to reveal just how Aggriever's fare-reimbursement actually operates. I'm going to make them reveal damaging and embarassing information if at all possible. Remember, if you submit a request under FOI they HAVE to document and DEAL with it. If they don't they fail once again in their duty and we passengers prove our point.

Finally, if your beef is not your bus route but is, say, British Ass for example, the same techniques apply. If even one person acting alone can cause them a great deal of time and trouble think what a hundred of us could do if we all followed through? It's called solidarity.

All the best.

:: Strange goings-on afoot

2004-10-22T08:14:00.000Z

Something very strange happened this morning.

It was as if half of North London decided not to go to work today. There was nobody at the busstops and nobody on the buses. In fact, I did not observe more than seven people standing on MA71 during any stage of the entire journey between 8:12 and 8:45am. No deep queues on the Essex Road; no throngs alighting and embarking at Angel; it was, fankly, as it should be.

I found myself relaxing and enjoying the journey. The temperature in the bus was much more comfortable and the passengers could actually move about in the gangways when seating became available. Nobody was compelled to press themselves up against the doors and I was only fashionably late for work.

I'm baffled. What's going on here? If only it could be like this everyday. Anyone out there have any theories?

It's not that I'm disappointed you understand, it's just that I spent 11:30pm last night 'til 1:00am this morning postering the busstops between the top of the Essex Road and the eastern end of Stoke Newington, Church Street. All the while I was quietly chuckling at the likely audience I might expect when queues thirty deep starting forming in the inevitable morning rain. No queues, - no rain, - no pain. I should have hit the sack instead! Oh well, thank God I'm not selling tickets I suppose.

:: Situation normal...

2004-10-21T09:02:00.000Z

Didn't take a 73 yesterday evening. Instead I treated myself to a crowded 476. Infinitely better and besides, it was first on the scene. And yet it took forty minutes to get from King's Cross to the top of the Essex Road.

When I did get home there were two items of correspondence; one from the ASA and the other from LTUC. At some point today I shall digitise the correspondence and link to it from the acronyms in this paragraph.

In short, the ASA "...are unable to help" with regard to my complaint about the use of misleading, innacurate or mendacious "...claims on their own [COMPANIES'] websites" for reasons which they elucidate in the letter. However, they suggest that a legitimate complaint could be made with another body such as Trading Standards or the Citizens Advice Bureau. Notwithstanding, they are investigating the complaint about the infamous 'Getting Better' poster and confirm what I was told last week: "...we are currently investigating a similar complaint and will notify you of the outcome."

The LTUC is really just an acknowledgement of my complaint asking me to send them written particulars. You'll recall that this blog must be printed and mailed to them in its entirety at some point soon. Phew! I'm looking forward to that. Still, needs must....

This morning I join nine other folk at Beresford Road at about 8:15 am. First up is MA65 at 8:19am which, although packed, stops and three people add themselves to the crush. [PHOTOGRAPH]. Two minutes later and the waiting passengers now number twenty. At 8:23am a heaving MA54 arrives with several passengers already travelling 'forward' whereupon the driver opens all three doors and MORE people crowd through the forward doors until there's absolutely no room left. [PHOTOGRAPH].

At 8:25am a packed MA53 passed by the stop with a half a dozen passengers travelling 'forward'. At 8:28 the 476 VTL1318 put in an appearance, totally full and with another half dozen people 'forward'. Nevertheless, the rear doors were opened and more passengers boarded. Finally, at 8:30am MA75 arrived with some standing room left. The Beresford Road passengers filled it up. The bus passes a couple of stops with queues of about platoon strength waiting on the footpath.

Time for some rare praise if only to demonstrate that I'm not all doom and gloom. At the lower Essex Road the driver stops to allow an elderly gent on crutches through the front door of the bus without admitting any more passengers into this space. Bravo driver! Furthermore, he actually addresses the passengers through the tannoy requesting that they do not try to force their way aboard if there is clearly no more room. He even warns passengers of his use of the doors and does not allow travelling 'forward'. Despite the driver using initiative and taking care with passengers the Shitaro remains overcrowded and unacceptable.

I am standing in the narrow gangway just ahead of the central doors looking ahead and I notice that I am now in plain view of the camera mounted beneath the 'STOPPING' light. I look at my watch and make a note in my book: 8:35am. I wave and smile at the camera in whose direct path I remain for perhaps the next ten minutes. Guess what footage I'll be requesting first under the DPI? "Hi Mum! Yoohoo... First I wanna thank Aggriever and Transport forLorn for putting me here..."

We are horribly stuck in traffic just after Islington Green and the driver once again shows initiative. No doubt in violation of regulations (this is not a designated stop), he opens the doors at the end of the Antiques Mall so the cramped passengers can dismount and walk the remaining distance to Angel tube. The crush is temporarily relieved. However, at Angel proper the bus fills up again. It's now 8:45am.

By the time we reach Thameslink the time is 8:58am and I have been on board the bus for 30 minutes having waited at Beresford Road for an additional 15 minutes.

I'm now occupying that rarest of things, a seat on a Shitaro just as a gentleman standing behind me sneezes loudly and suddenly in my direction. Jesus! Just what I was talking about yesterday. I lean forward and pull up my collar trying not to breath until the droplets settle somewhere else. The bus is stuck in traffic and I can hear the air-conditioning/heating whirring away. Bloody marvellous! I look around and notice not a single transom is open and they're all out of my reach.

At some point along Euston Road I've had a bellyfull so I get off and walk the rest of the way to Euston Square tube. Total Journey Time including waiting: 50mins. Advertised Journey Time: 21mins.

:: Now for the CCTV footage they've taken of me

2004-10-20T15:34:00.000Z

You may not be aware but under the DPA you are also entitled to either view or be granted a copy of any and all footage of those occasions when you have been filmed on board the 73. You may have to pay a maximum of £10.00 for said footage but that's peanuts compared to the net cost for TfL in this instance. Similarly, you may have to supply a suitable still photographic image in order that you can be identified from the relevant footage. What I like about this most is that TfL (in this case) must arrange for any third party images to be obscured or blurred in order to protect their privacy in turn. Furthermore, they are obliged to ruthlessly document the entire proceedure. I, for one, plan to keep them very busy wherever possible and I recommend that you do the same. Here's how...

The first step is for us 'data subjects' to request a 'standard subject access form' from TfL which must indicate the information they require in order to locate the images requested. All these requests MUST be dealt with by either a manager or else a designated member of staff.

When you have received your access form from TfL you can fill out the particulars of the journey for which you would like footage and the whole process kicks in.

* For a complete explanation of your rights concerning access to CCTV footage under the DPA click here. Alternatively, click the header of this post.

Let's give it a try shall we?

Information Compliance
Transport for London
55 Broadway
London SW1H 0BD

Dear Sir/Madam,

Please send me a Standard Subject Access Request Form to which I am entitled to under the Section 7(1) of the Data Protection 1998.

I am a data subject seeking access to CCTV footage of myself taken on board buses at various times and on various occasions over the last six weeks.

I have read the relevant sections of the act and understand that once I have satisfied you as to the information you require in order to locate my image in said footage that you are obliged to make it available to me upon provision of a fee of £10.00.

Should this footage also contain third-party images I also understand that you will be obliged to obscure said images in order to similarly protect the privacy of those individuals. I should be grateful if you could either mail the form to my home address or else furnish me with a digital copy by way of return.

If you are unwilling or unable to satisfy my reasonable request I
shall expect a detailed response from you outlining the reasons for that refusal.

If you do not normally handle these requests for your organisation, please pass this letter to your Data Protection Officer or another appropriate official.

Yours faithfully,

[NAME REDACTED].

NB I have also sent a copy of this request by post.

* If you too would like to request a 'Standard Subject Access Form' then perhaps you'd like to use my pro forma? Just click her to download the .doc, make the necessary changes and post.

Well that's quite enough for one day. Let's see how the route home is tonight.

:: Data Protection Act toolkit

2004-10-20T14:24:00.000Z

Just received this helpful missive from the Information Commissioner's Office:

Dear Mr [NAME REDACTED],

Thank you for your e-mail of 13th October. Under section 19 of the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) it is the duty of all public authorities to adopt and maintain a publication scheme that has been approved by the Information Commissioner. Publication schemes must specify classes of information which the public authority publishes or intends to publish, specify the manner in which information of each class is, or is intended to be, published and specify whether the material is, or is intended to be, available to the public free of charge or on payment.

Transport for London was named as a public authority in Schedule 1 of the FOIA and they have had an approved publication scheme since 20th January 2003. Their scheme and the schemes of its affiliates can be found on their website here:

http://www.tfl.gov.uk/tfl/foi/downloadschemes.shtml

At present the FOIA only facilitates access information that forms part of a public authority’s publication scheme but in January 2005, when section 1 of the FOIA is implemented, you will be entitled to request any information (subject to exemptions) held by a public authority. Therefore, I suggest you look at the relevant publication scheme and see if the information you require is currently available through the scheme. If it is not, then you can make a request for it under the general right of access which will come into force in January 2005.

I hope this is helpful. Please contact me if you require further
assistance.

Yours sincerely

[NAME REDACTED]

FOI Compliance Officer.

* For a fuller explanation of subject access click here.

* For a copy of Transport forLorn's 'publication scheme' concerning the kind of records covered click here.

Here's a copy of the letter I sent to TfL:

October 20, 2004
foicoordinator@tfl.gov.uk Information Compliance
Transport for London
55 Broadway
London SW1H 0BD

XXX XXXXXXXX
XXx XXXXXXXX
XXXXXXX
XXXXX XXX XXX
XXXXXXXXXX

Dear Sir or Madam,

Please send me the ALL information, which I am entitled to under
Section 7(1) of the Data Protection 1998.

Specifically that should include:

• a description of the data;

• for what purposes the data are processed;

• the recipients or the classes of recipients to whom the data
may have been disclosed. This information should include what
sort of data are held, the purposes for which the data are
processed and the type of organisation or people to whom the
data may be disclosed;

• a copy of the information with any unintelligible terms
explained;

• any information available to the data controller about the
source of the data;

• an explanation as to how any automated decisions taken about me
have been made;

• the logic involved in any automated decisions.

If you need further information from me, or a fee, please let me know as soon as possible.

If you do not normally handle these requests for your organisation, please pass this letter to your Data Protection
Officer or another appropriate official.

I have placed a copy of this correspondence in the mail in case you do not accept such requests in electronic form. I would appreciate acknowledgement of this request upon receipt and understand that you will respond formally within forty days. If there is any problem or delay with this request I would be grateful if you could inform me.

Sincerely,

[NAME REDACTED].

* For a pro forma copy of the above request in .doc format please click here or on the header of this posting. By all means change the necessaries, print and send if you have ever complained to TfL and would like to find out what information they have kept about you and your complaint. I can't wait to see mine and I know it will also occupy some more of their time in the same way they usefully cost me mine! Good luck and do let me know how you go. Repeat the process as necessary for Aggriever, First or else your favourite operator.

TfL are obliged to respond within 40 days as I understand it.

:: Latest intel

2004-10-20T10:43:00.000Z

A Comrade Crank writes in separately:

"Those inspectors [TODAY'S] were originally on a 393 - I saw them get off and then wait at a stop in Church St. Do you know why the Oyster readers aren't working on the 73s? [I DIDN'T] Just in case you don't, it's because TfL ordered only ONE reader per bus and that is by the driver. The others, apparently, are now on back-order. So, until they are fitted, it's still possible to ride for free.

Have you noticed as well that there always seem to be empty buses going to Stokey at exactly the same time when they could be going in the opposite and more useful direction? [INDEED I HAVE] Perhaps a timetable review would be a good idea?"

Now before we all start getting all Middle Class and righteous about fare-dodging and signing ourselves 'Outraged of Hoxton' or whatever, can we all agree that the current service is NOT WORTH PAYING FOR? Remember this in a few weeks when you're laid up with a heavy dose of Fujian - you PAID to incubate in the Petri dish. Observe also, that the sudden dramatic rise in the sightings of 'unfair inspectors' clearly shows where Transport forLorn's concerns lie. Just give them your money and shut up.

If anybody has any stories of these extra staff doing anything to try to mitigate/improve the service I'd love to hear about it because as far as I'm concerned they're just another breed of traffic wardens and wheel clampers with even less to justify their presence aboard these buses. TfL and Aggriever DO NOT have an automatic right to revenue streams. They have to EARN IT by actually providing a SERVICE recognisable as such. If your electricity supply is intermittent and faulty due to a supplier's failure to plan properly or the failure of their equipment then you are entitled to discounts and rebates. Theoretically this is true of Aggriever as it forms part of their mysterious 'customer promise' leaflet, to which I shall now turn my attentions.

:: Comment of the week

2004-10-20T10:34:00.000Z

In case you haven't managed to read this one yet I reproduce it here for your delight. Shouldn't laugh really, but if it wasn't such a pain-in-the-arse it'd be funny. Hell it IS funny! Reminds me of Benny Hill or Eric Sykes somehow:

A contractors' vehicle was spotted at work in Camberwell Road on 18/10 presumably in connection with bendies on the 12.

Unbelievably it simply turned up at an 'open' stop, winched the post out of the ground, filled in the hole, then drove off. No warning panel notices or flag hood had been displayed, nor was any dolly stop left as a substitute!

People were literally standing at a number 12 bus stop one minute, the next they were apparently loitering in the street!

No doubt all this counts for 'customer care' in the brave new world of Hendy's bendies!!!

There's a pint awaiting the author of this post should s/he choose to make contact and collect.

:: More of the same...

2004-10-20T09:12:00.000Z

No 73 from King's Cross yesterday for me. I was running late for an appointment so I treated myself to a black cab.

Didn't get much sleep either as my genuinely crazy neighbours tried to shout each other to death every fifteen minutes after midnight for several hours. I could hear them through my bedroom wall. But that's a whole 'nother can of blog.

By 8:17 I'm in the usual place as MA72 goes by, heaving with passengers (but noone forward). At 8:20 we get MA64 with some standing room (and noone forward) but I decline to board as I want to see what develops. At 8:25 the 476 VNL32296 passes,full to the gunwhales. At 8:27 MA43 arrives with about half standing space empty. I board through the rear doors.

The first thing I notice is that there are not one but TWO inspectors positioned in the articulated section - a man and a woman in large, late-middle age. I can only assume they've been doing something up at Stokey because when we reach the junction of St Paul's Road they dismount. I have no idea what they're up to as I don't get to see them do anything. Except when alighting the woman asks "Could you all please spread out along the bus please?" and passengers shuffle themselves a little accordingly. We move off.

At the top of Essex Road the bus effectively fills up as usual. Yet I notice another phenomenon of these buses. When full the articulated section may be the best place to find space. From the outside its very difficult to see if the 'bendy section' is occupied as there are obviously no windows. This means that if passengers - as I suspect they do - unconsciously try to protect some space around them by effectively refusing to move into already cramped space, then the articulated section is the most likely place to find some body space.

Furthermore, it seems a given to me that passengers' strong desire is to locate a space aboard any form of public transport and then TRY TO DEFEND IT for the duration of their journey. What is intolerable to them is to have to move about constantly. This is precisely what the design of the Shitaros compels passengers to do at stop after stop. If you have any baggage whatsoever this can become particularly onerous and stressful.

There's another disturbing consequence of the introduction of these buses and the way they are 'managed' that manifested itself to me this morning. The fabulous potential for incubating all manner of communicable diseases. Now I'm no doctor but I imagine that the Shitaro I travelled in today was warmer and more moist than a weightlifter's jockstrap. From what I heard on MA43, the coughing and sneezing season began today so you better get ready people, the droplets are starting to fly and they don't discriminate. I know it sounds ridiculous but I may have to consider (and reccommend) wearing a face mask over coming months. When I get a flu I get it in spades.

Is there anything that can be done to mitigate what may become an articulated Petri dish? I welcome suggestions but it seems clear that if there's any heating of these buses happening it needs to be TURNED OFF along with the air-conditioning for the duration. The haet generated by upwards of 150 persons crushed together is plenty thanks. The transoms above the side windows should be left open where at all possible. Whenever you get the chance, open one.

Somewhere along the Essex Road it becomes clear that once again we are completely full up although there is a decent pocket of space in the 'passenger blind spot' of the articulation. Looking forward I can see that there are at least four or five passengers travelling forward as we pass queues of 30 deep along the Essex Road.

When I leave the bus at Euston Square I pass numerous other buses from other routes - I seem to notice them a lot more lately. What is clear to me that hadn't really occurred before is that every other bus I look at, no matter what the number seems to have passengers travelling 'forward'. It's fast becoming the norm. We might even refer to theses journey and the money the generate as 'the profit margin'. It obviates the need for companies to put on the requisite number of buses for the anticipated number of passenger journeys. Although the overcrowding pisses people off companies like Aggriever know that they've got the complaints process under their control, so no trouble from that angle.

In another development yesterday I rang the LTUC, having received no response from my email of a week ago. I had a good and reasonable conversation with one of their staff, informing him of this blog and the general outline of my complaints. He wants to help and they acknowledge that they received my mail and the reply is in chain. He points out that they will first request that I receive the written responses to my complaints and queries from TfL before becoming further involved. Unsurprisingly, they want it all in writing (everybody does these days, don't they?) before they will take that next step. No problem, says I, I can give you a web address where I have kept meticulous notes and observations about my experiences as a passenger over the last six weeks or so. Disappointingly it rapidly becomes clear that this weblog just ain't gonna cut it. Apparently I have to print off all the pages and pop them in a manila. Oh well, time to slave over a hot printer!

Today I think I need to chase things up regarding access to TfL and Aggriever's 'files' on Yours Truly. I also have a cunning plan for their laughable 'customer promise' leaflet....

BTW: Sorry about the absence of posters lately. I have made it available on the site as requested but no takers thus far. I shall try to print some more today and make them available to the north of Beresford Road, along Church Street, Stokey for example. Coming soon to a busstop near you.

Thanks for bothering and keep those comments coming in.

:: Gotcha! Uncomfortable, unsafe, unlawful & uncaring....

2004-10-19T11:20:00.000Z

Before I update you here are three photos from yesterday morning establishing what we already know: The 73 route is so overcrowded that Transport forLorn and Aggriever are prepared to BRAZENLY CONTRAVENE HEALTH & SAFETY REGULATIONS concerning operating capacity. They have clearly decided that it is better to treat people like cattle and get paid for it than to operate the service safely and comfortably and endure the wrath of the reasonably furious passengers which they must leave behind in droves at the stops along the route.

* Yesterday morning at Beresford Road, 8:18am.Clearly showing passengers boarding an already full bus through the forward doors.

* A few moments later you can see those passengers standing adjacent to the driver's cabin illegally forward of the warning sign.

* And again.....

Yesterday's trip home was once again, not without incident. At 4:40 I am early at King's Cross and the first 73 (MA70) is too crowded to board with at least 3 passengers 'forward'. The next 73 (MA71) does not even stop at the correct bay and by the time I see it and approach the doors they are closed to me.

Despite being almost empty and with seats available the driver ignores me and pulls away. The next 73 (MA56?) has space and I board. Although the journey is not overcrowded three passengers ride the bus 'forward' one of whom - an adult male - has a conversation with the driver from King's Cross to the middle of Essex Road. All the while a youth of eleven or twelve rides the entire journey at the extreme front of the bus even holding onto the rail in front of the plexiglass: [PICTURE] and again [PICTURE]. At one stage an even younger child of perhaps five is also 'forward' [PICTURE].

After I alight at Beresford Road I call TfL YET AGAIN and make the complaint. This time after ten minutes of Vivaldi I tell the operator that I am taking notes of our conversation just as she is and I may use them for my own purposes. She says "Oh, I'm not sure I like the sound of that!" I ask her to take down the particulars of my complaint. She's riled and says I am not at liberty to use her response on my weblog and, incredibly, she cites the DPA. I inform her that this cannot apply because I am neither using her name (which I do not know in any case) or any other identifying feature and that I am perfectly entitled to quote her response to me in her capacity as an employee of TfL. Finally, she 'gets' it and takes down the complaint. Again, I request a formal written response which she undertakes will be provided within 15 days. Yeah, right.

This morning I'm determined to get some photographs of the overcrowding. Very hard to do. The only way I can think to do it effectively is to once again snap the forward section of the bus next to the driver's cabin either through the front window or doors to establish that passengers are forced to stand in front of the "DO NO STAND &c." notice. So I stand with camera ready at Beresford Road waiting for a packed 73. First one along is packed but amazingly no one's 'forward'. Yet the driver opens his rear doors [PICTURE] and a few people pile in before he heads off [PICTURE]. Unfortunately I am so intent on getting some photos that I don't notice the running number. Ditto the second 73 which DOES have half a dozen people crammed in next to the driver's cabin. I take a photo through the closed forward doors but the glass reflects a little and the shot is poor [PICTURE]. Yet the fact that you can clearly see people standing here through the glass establishes the truth of what I am claiming. The third 73 arrives after a few minutes and is a third empty with noone forward - not for long! There are, of course no seats and I make my way to the front of the bus adjacent to the "DO NO STAND &c." notice. Now I can clearly establish that if anybody is allowed to mount the bus in front of me they will be 'forward'. At the top of Essex Road i.e. the second stop on my journey the bus is at capacity. The driver then does what he should and passes the next two stops each of which has upwards of thirty people waiting with that familiar expression on their faces. When we reach the lower Essex Road there are already a few passengers forward [PICTURE].

At Angel about a third of the bus alights as usual but then EVEN MORE people are allowed to board than have disembarked! There are now six or seven people IN FRONT of me and therefore FORWARD! Behind me the bus is absolutely packed. I start to surreptitiously take photos of the forward section next to the driver's cabin.

Incredibly a ticket inspector (3033) joins the bus at Angel and happily works his way through the half dozen people travelling forward of the DO NOT STAND FORWARD OF THIS NOTICE sign checking the tickets without so much as a word to the driver about the clear safety violation. [PICTURE]. I overhear a complaint from one lady who tells him how difficult it is to even catch a bus in the morning "Well write in with a complaint" he says dismissively. At this point I have to speak up "Excuse me, but I've made at least twelve complaints and I've received only one response to any of them. This service is not worth paying for just look at the overcrowding!" "Well you're using it." he rejoins bizarrely as if that were an answer to anything.

I ask 3033 whether he can tell me how many people are currently on board? "This bus holds 150 passengers" he said perfunctorily, in answer to a question I never asked. "Well it's clearly overcrowded as there are people illegally standing forward of the notice in plain contravention of Health and Safety regulations." [PICTURE]. Unbelievably, a Harpy riding at the very front of the bus, hard against the front window (and who therefore should not have even been allowed to board!) has the temerity to tell me "Oh shut up! We're all just trying to get to work." "Yes, right." 3033 agrees rudely. "No I won't shut up!" I answer indignantly and continue to ask questions of 3033 and listen to his dealings with other passengers. He is busy dealing with a gentleman a few feet away behind me who tells 3033 that it is worth paying the £10 fine on the rare occasion when tickets are inspected - it works out cheaper over time. I tell the gentleman that it clearly isn't worth complaining as I have effectively just been told to shut up.

A thought occurs to me at this point. The next time there's a Blue Moon and I see one of these inspectors turning over a clearly overcrowded bus I shall loudly announce 'TICKET INSPECTOR ABOARD!' for the benefit of any so-called fare-dodgers behind. This will at least afford them the opportunity to dismount before being charged £10.00 for a journey for which WE ALL should be compensated! Perhaps you would like to do the same? I don't see what they can do about it - especially if they cannot locate the source of the warning or, indeed if more than one passenger calls out the same warning. Even if they wanted to and were able they cannot throw us all off the bus - especially those of us who DO HAVE tickets like myself.

The forward passengers remain where they are until Euston Square where the overcrowding eases somewhat. I remain on the bus because I am handing this blog address to the gentleman passenger with whom I have a brief conversation. I am now a little way past my stop but it is his too so we both dismount as does Mr. Jobsworth 3033. Whereupon I ask for and am given his badge number. The passenger tells me he used to be a bus driver as I am writing down the running number and the badge ID. He agrees that what has just took place is a serious violation of Health & Safety which has just been condoned/ignored by one of Transport forLorn's own inspectors. We discuss the fact that the driver cannot properly see the left-hand side of his vehicle owing to the overcrowding. Jobsworth 3033, standing three feet away chips in "Yes he can see." Again, I insist that this is a clear violation whereupon he says, sarcastically "Do you want a job?" "I've got one thanks, and I appear to be doing yours as well." I reply.

Again, I call Transport forLorn from work and go through the motions of describing the incident in detail and requesting yet another formal written response. I won't be holding my breath.

:: ECE Transport Regulations governing large passenger vehicles

2004-10-18T11:22:00.000Z

I am indebted to David Richards from EvoBus for providing me with the link to the Uniform provisions concerning the approval of large passenger vehicles with regard to their general construction and to my good friend Richard for helping me convert some of the documents. Should you wish to be bored rigid by some 70 odd pages of 'heretofores and notwithstandings' you may click on the header of this post to download the document in full. However, I have taken the trouble to excerpt the relevant sections (three pages in .pdf) which can be dowloaded by clicking here.

As Mr. Richards kindly explained to me in his mail of last Friday, there are some very complicated calculations which govern passenger area and capacity upon EC buses. He wasn't kidding! It has to be seen to be believed.

Alas, it's all way above my head and I appeal to any Civic (minded)Engineers/Mathematicians/Astro-Physicists to scan this document and add their comments.

By an amazing coincidence I observe from section 5.3.2.2 that a Class II vehicle has an Ssp (Area assumed for one standing passenger in m²) which works out to be exactly 38x38cm! It's phenomenal what you can achieve with a tape measure and the destruction of countless brain cells.

The exclusions (5.2-5.3) are very interesting in themselves - if you can translate them from 'bureaucratese'.

Here's some other choice cuts from the document as a whole:

5.6.10.2. When the door is closed no part of the retractable step shall project more than 10 mm beyond the adjacent line of the bodywork

Now I know for a fact that the retractable plate for wheelchair access can be operated with the doors closed. I've seen it in action and also had it demonstrated to me by one of the drivers. I understand that this is somewhat different from 'retractable steps' but clearly the same safety contingency should apply. Why the hell would you want to have someone in a wheelchair on the plate with the doors closed?

5.6.1.6. Each rigid section of an articulated vehicle shall be treated as a separate vehicle for the purpose of determining the minimum number of exits. A number of passengers shall be determined for each rigid section and the connecting passage between them shall not be considered as an exit.

This is particularly interesting as the stated MINIMUM number for an articulated vehicle carrying in excess of 90 passengers is 9. As I understand the above quote that would require the Shitaro to have AT LEAST 7,8 or 9 exits per section including emergency exits (with double doors or windows counting as 2). This doesn't sound likely according to my recollection but I shall check this tonight.

:: Posters & solidarity

2004-10-18T08:40:00.000Z

I hope you'll forgive me for taking the weekend off. I put my travel card to better use on the 141 and attended the European Social Forum at Ally Pally on Sunday morning. An excellent gathering it was too. Now it's back to business as usual...

Firstly, it's been pointed out that my flyers are "few and far between" and that if I make them available here then others can print them out and post them up as well. Absolutely! The more the merrier. I would very much welcome and appreciate the solidarity of other passengers. Click here for a .pdf copy of the original flyer. The quality may have suffered slightly but hey, it'll only get torn down or rained on anyways.

But I must caution you before you go flyposting the Shitaros: it has been made clear to me by both Transport forLorn and Aggriever that if caught handing out flyers on their buses I will be ejected. Presumably the same will apply to you although exactly who will be doing this and how that can be done on an overcrowded bus is a mystery to me - as I have pointed out to these idiots myself. I told them that it was down to them to catch me (although in reality I have restricted myself to the street furniture for the time-being). These are torn down regularly so it's quite hard to 'keep up the good work'. Of course if these are handed to passengers at stops and subsequently find their way onto the bus I fail to see how you or I can be held responsible.

I've an idea! How about a little friendly competition? If you fancy designing YOUR OWN fiendish A4 flyer and mailing it to me I will make it available here. The winning poster/s will enjoy beers/wine on me at the Shakespeare in Stokey during the inaugural gathering of the Crank Club. You can't ask fairer than that can you?

Back to the madness...

As I promised I am now carrying a small black notebook, pen and digicam with me at all times on the bus and I would encourage any like-minded cranks to do the same. Today was a case in point. At 8:10 am the packed MA41 stopped at Beresford Road so that Health and Safety regulations could be further scorned. Although I declined the now standard offer to play Sardines first thing in the morning, it didn't stop others from joining in the fun. Before you could say "Routemaster!", half a dozen lemmings were forward of the 'DO NOT STAND FORWARD OF NOTICE' notice. Precisely seven minutes later I was able to board MA56 which still had some standing room near the doors. This was short-lived as usual and by the time we reached the Essex Road the frottage had begun in earnest. In the now heaving Shitaro eight passengers were forward of the notice.

I rang TfL to complain. Yet again, despite having left what by now must be over ten separate complaints I was made to go through the ritual of giving my name, address, postcode and phone number on a crowded bus to the Customer Dis-service operator at the other end of the line. Again, I requested a formal, written response to my complaint and informed the wretch that I was awaiting same for nine previous complaints (for which I have yet to receive any response at all). I discussed the possibility that since I have been elevated to 'Crank status' I would not be eligible for a response despite TfL's statutory obligation to provide one. But the gentleman couldn't possibly comment.

At Angel where, it is true, many passengers disembark, a lady thrust into my hand a small scrap of filofax with a message of support and an offer of solidarity. She has seen this blog and suggest I meet with her and others involved in the Save the Routemaster Campaign. I shall be doing exactly that!

By the way, I must say how disappointed I am that I haven't had so much as a single autoresponder from the HSE, the LTUC, the ASA, the Information Commissioner's Office or even the DPTAC. By this Wednesday those emails will be one week old. I understand these people are doubtless very busy so perhaps my disappointment is premature. We'll see. Perhaps I'll ring them this time and see if that makes any difference at all.

Watch this space for further news and events. Blimey! This is my stop.... almost missed it, must fly.

:: The Man with the B&Q tape measure (and a little bit of egg on his face)

2004-10-15T08:38:00.000Z

You'd have thought that I would have had enough of the 73 after two rush-hour journeys a day and you'd be right. However, last night I steeled myself for another trip, albeit in the late evening. A big hello to anybody who saw me between Newington Green and Seven Sisters measuring the floorspace of the Citaro. Doubtless I looked slightly mad but it is all part of a cunning plan!

May I first say that I actually ENJOYED this journey. I didn't need to be anywhere at anytime and the buses are obviously much less crowded. Best of all I learned some very interesting things and made contact with several 'fellow-travellers' let's call them.

There I was at about half-past nine standing on my todd at the Beresford Road stop, direction Seven Sisters waiting for a 73. After five minutes or so a young couple approached the stop and the lady drew her male partner's attention to one of my 'eye-catching' flyers. As I understood her to say something supportive about what I was doing I couldn't resist revealing my alter ego: "It is I," I declaimed with a fiendish laugh and a flourish of my black cloak of invisibility, "The Man on the 73 Omnibus!" With that and a single bound I swished my cloak back and disappeared into the spreading gloom.

Well, alright it wasn't quitelike that but I'm entitled to employ some 'Crank licence' surely? As it happens the lady in question had already left comment on the blog although I'm not sure which one. How very encouraging.

The bus arrived and we boarded through separate doors - I needed to start at the back of the bus which was perhaps still a little too full to start brandishing my crank tape-measure, "Patience, my precious" I muttered to it under my breath.

Retrieving a small black notebook and a biro from my pocket I began the nefarious task of measuring the floorspace of the Citaro. You see, I don't think there's terribly much point in waiting for a response to the various correspondence I have published here. Rather: "Be sure of it; give me the ocular proof: Or by the worth of man's eternal soul,Thou hadst been better have been born a dog Than answer my waked wrath!" as a great man once wrote about his own bus troubles.

As I set about my task a young lady enquired as to what I might be doing. "I simply don't believe that you can reasonably fit 150 people on one of these buses," said I. She concurred and then offered up the fact that she works for the ASA and well-knew that they have received numerous complaints about the now notorious falsehood "The 73 is getting better from every angle." Quelle surprise! This crank protest just gets better and better....

As the passengers thin out I brandish my rusty Sword of Truth and, assuming the guise of bus fancier once again, set about drawing and measuring the Citaro's floor. That document, which will no doubt take its rightful place alongside the Long John Silver's Treasure Map, The Anglo-Saxon Chronicle, and the Munich Agreement can be seen HERE for the first time. (I was going to fancy it up a bit, you know, bang up Photoshop floorchart with stick men and stuff, but hey, it's the numbers we want).

For the purpose of this exercise (I like the sound of that!) I have divide the Shitaro into seven sections only five of which I've bothered to number on my diagram just to keep you on your toes.

Section The First, aft - aka the 'arse end of the bus', begins with your basic semi-circular footwell of 40cm width and tapers out to a massive 53cm over a length of 275cm giving a total area of 11,000cm².

Section the Second incoporates the rear doors on the port side and a designated stroller/shopping bag area starboard. This describes a trapezoid of 140cm by 225cm which I generously calculate to be 31,500cm².

Section the Third includes the famous concertina section and weighs in at 79x100cm + 135x170cm, giving a total of 30,850cm².

Section the Fourth affords floorspace of 180x58cm between seating and therefore offers 10,440cm².

Section the Fifth incorporates the forward doors on the port side and includes a designated wheelchair and stroller area starboard. It is 120x225cm + 50x225cm roughly speaking, giving a total of 38,250cm².

Section the Sixth is about 300x52cm + 50x90cm and is therefore of area 20,100cm².

The forward section of the bus including driver's cabin and bearing the unequivocal legend "Do not stand forward of notice" comprises 27,000cm² and must therefore be discounted from these calculations.

So far so good. Now let's add them all up:

11,000cm²
31,500cm²
30,850cm²
10,440cm²
38,250cm²
+20,100cm²
-------------
= 142,140cm²
-------------

No we divide by the number of standees, ie 100 to give us a figure of 1,421cm² per passenger which can best be appreciated as an area 38x38cm.

This sounds almost reasonable until one considers how the space is arranged. Once again starting aft we quickly realise that if we laid sheets of card of dimensions 38x38cm adjacent to one another the entire section could not accomodate more than 7 people standing. Section 2 could possibly squeeze in a further 22. Section 3 permits of no more than 21 passengers 15 of whom will be standing on the articulated plate. If we do the same for section four we could probably let in another 9. Section 5 surely cannot hold more than 27 souls (and if you throw in a wheelchair you must lose 6 people from the calculations as max. allowable is 142+wheelchair). Finally, section six can only accomodate a further 13 passengers.

So that's 7 + 22 + 21 + 9 + 27 + 13 making a grand total of 99! Shit! I'm sunk, they're right! If you squeeze everybody in with no wheelchairs or troublesome strollers, no bags or broadsheets and definitely NO large folk you can actually just about do it! But would you want to?

Mmmmhhhhhh. Much as I hate to admit it, it looks like round one goes to TfL on the overcrowding issue. I don't like the way this is going at all but I can't deny the facts. Funny how they have a way of biting you on the arse.

So it seems I can still get my size nine boots on the bus with a massive buffer zone of four centimetres in any direction! But facts like this cut both ways. If you have less than four centimetres of free space surrounding you whenever you travel on the 73 in size 9 footware then it stands to reason that the bus is exceeding its operational capacity.

Which gets me thinking about shoe sizes and what EU average might have been used as a basis for such calculations, or did they use waistbands, or bra sizes? I MUST KNOW!!

What a coincidence? As it happens, size 9 (43 on the Continent) truns out to be the British male average. I'm average, yippee....

So why am I suddenly whittering on about EU directives? I hear you cry. Well that's because I have, in spite of my cynical expectations, actually received a reply from the good folk at EvoBus. Here it is:

Dear Jon

The Artic vehicles are built to the United Nations regulation ECE 36.

There are long calculations to carry out for passenger spacings given within these regulations.

Attached is the link to the UNECE web site, go to Regulation 36, consolidated.

http://www.unece.org/trans/main/wp29/wp29regs.html

Regards

[NAME REDACTED]
Sales Support Executive
EvoBus (UK) Ltd.
Crosspoint Business Park
Ashcroft Way
Coventry
CV2 2TU

Now there's nothing I enjoy more than a set of long calculations so it was with barely disguised glee that I went after Regulation ECE 36. consolidated..... and no doubt implemented!

Alas, the document in question is WordPerfect download from the Jurassic period so I'm really none the wiser at this stage. I haven't use WP since 6.1 back in (scratches head, 1994?). That's modernisation for you. Perhaps I'll download OpenOffice for OSX and treat myself but that'll have to wait.

But I still have a few cards to play in this trick. Like this set of calculations concerning Nazi transportation for example:

Length: 30ft
Breadth: 8ft
Therefore total area in feet = 240 sq ft
240 square foot = 222,967.296 sq cm = 22.967 sq m

Divide by 120 (number of victims per boxcar) = 1,858 sq cm
giving available floorspace per victim which is an area 43 x 43 cm.

Achtung!! That exceeds EU recommendations by a whole five centimetres more in each direction!

So what conclusion can we draw from this? Perhaps it could be that just because you can squeeze 100 passengers into 142,140cm² doesn't mean that it's necessarily a good idea.

Oh and I almost forgot this little gem. On the return trip from Seven Sisters last night (after having to wait an age for a 73) I was treated to an entirely empty Citaro. That was eerie I can tell you. There was a driver of course and recognising me as the bus fancier I clearly am, we struck up a conversation. Unprompted by myself he happily told me that he had absolutely no control over passenger numbers, "When I open the three doors they just pile in." he said sorrowfully. "You don't say?" I gasped.

:: I become a Crank - It's semi-official!

2004-10-15T08:03:00.000Z

I am indeed indebted to the kind individual who left comment last night. It is most revealing and will be of great help.

I am continually fascinated by the way in which corporate cultures 'reveal' themselves through their actions and in the manner through which they treat legitimate consumer grievances; rather a lot like government's attitudes towards dissent. It is worth quoting in full:

I work in London Underground's [LOCATION REDACTED] (though am NOT an apologist for the regime!) and because we deal directly with TfL Travel Information Service(TIS) and also the LUL Customer Service Centre (CSC) [was LT Customer Service Centre before being split], we have a number of staff who are ex-TIS or CSC (TIS covers for TfL & LUL CSC out-of-hours). I've been reliably informed that the name, address and e-mail of every complainer is recorded and this database consulted when it comes to providing a reply. When the same details come up more than 2 or 3 times the caller/writer is placed into the 'cranks' category and, ultimately, will no longer be answered by the organisation. Be interesting to see whether you suffer the same fate and how quickly?

Indeed! It is a rare thing these days to find individuals who display the integrity and maintain the independence of mind to speak the unvarnished truth. Thank you very much on behalf of all the passengers who do register legitimate complaints and in so doing are elevated to the status of Crank.

I believe that TfL have a statutory duty to provide "...a full written response within 10 working days. If we cannot give you a full answer in this time, we will send you an acknowledgement within 2 working days and then a full written response within 15 working days. If you are not satisfied with our reply, you can contact the LTUC (see below), set up by Parliament to represent your interests."

To date I believe I have received a single 'formal' response from TfL despite requesting that ALL of my complaints be dealt with likewise. Now we know why. I have escalated the response to my complaint to the LTUC and feel sure that they will be interested to read the comment above.

I'm beginning to understand the workings of TfL and their opaque complaints system. If they send no written response to 'cranks' such as myself (frankly, a badge of honour in the face of their intransigent incompetence) and we do not complain to LTUC then perhaps no real record of any complaint will exist? In this way they can conceal the high level of public disatisfaction with a service for which they are responsible. The very idea of denigrating repeat complainers as 'cranks' aptly demonstrates their attitude towards their own customers. Keep it up TfL and Aggriever - in this way do you sow the seeds of your own destruction. Thank you for labelling me a 'Crank'. It can only help. If you think I'm going to quit you're sorely mistaken.

:: The Nazis win by a mousemat!

2004-10-14T13:24:00.000Z

You will recall, dear reader, that only this morning I offended Customer Services at TFL by claiming that the allotment of floorspace to standing passengers on the Citaro when at capacity was 'very competetive' with that afforded to Nazi transportation victims.

[SOME OF YOU MAY ALSO RECALL THAT CALCULATIONS ON THIS PAGE HAVE CHANGED. WELL, EMBARRASSINGLY FOR ME SOME OF MY CALCULATIONS WERE WRONG; EMBARRASSINGLY FOR EVERYBODY ELSE, NOBODY NOTICED. I HAD CLAIMED THAT THE CITAROS OFFERED MORE SPACE THAN THE NAZIS DID - THAT WAS VERY WRONG OF ME. THE CORRECT CALCULATIONS CLEARLY SHOW THAT THE NAZIS OFFERED MORE SPACE. I UNRESERVEDLY APOLOGISE.]

How wonderful the web really is at setting us all straight. So it is that I am able to stand by my claim. Let me make it abundantly clear that the Nazis generously offered 437cm² more standing space per passenger than do Aggriever and TfL on their Shitaros. And to think that some of us actually pay for that privilege.

How do I know this gentle reader? Well I realise that actually having any evidence for anything is so passé these days and a mere assertion is good enough even in national and international courts but nevertheless I continue to be old-fashioned and yet so very modern at one and the same time. I Googled it.

What an interesting peregrination it turned out to be too! I learned a number of fascinating things. Forty-and-eights, I learned were "...military transport cars (the term itself refers to the cars' carrying capacity, said to be 40 men or eight horses). Built starting in the 1870s as regular freight boxcars, they were originally used in military service by the French army in both World Wars, and then later used by the German occupation in World War II." Although quite why the French were using imperial measurements is beyond me."During the war years the cars ferried troops, prisoners of war, horses, freight, and infamously the Jews and others the Nazis considered 'undesirables' rounded up in France and sent to concentration camps and likely death in the Holocaust." Interesting n'est pas?

Better yet was A Teacher's Guide to the Holocaust which went straight to the heart of the matter with two extremely pertinent activities for schoolchildren under the heading Part 5: Railroad Routes to Auschwitz wherein we are asked in activities 7 & 8:

The boxcars used to transport people to Auschwitz were 30 ft. long and 8 ft. wide. How many square feet is this?

Each boxcar contained 100 to 120 people. When a boxcar held 120 people, what was the average amount of space each person had?

Once again I dusted off my high school maths calculating that 30 by 8 = 240 square feet which when converted into square metres and rounded up equals 22.3 square metres. Divide by 120 and we have 0.186m² after rounding up. Unless I miss my guess that's an area 43x43cm.

Just in case you can't visualise the area represented by such figures I have taken the trouble to provide two useful diagrams. The first shows a direct overlay comparison of the two areas whilst the second clearly shows the differential.

I am so very glad to be able to finally establish the facts surrounding my claim and I now accept that the Citaros when operating at capacity (which is frequently!) afford an entire mouse mat's worth LESS area than did the Nazis.

:: Meanwhile, back at Mercedes...

2004-10-14T11:49:00.000Z

The only email I could find on the M-B site was for a Marketing Assistant working for EvoBus in Coventry. Worth a shot I suppose.

Dear Ms XXXXX,

I imagine you may not be in the best position to answer my query but I am sure you will be able to pass it along to the right person. I did trawl the Mercedes-Benz site for other addresses but I really couldn't find any for general enquiries. Apologies.

Essentially, I have a very simple question of fact which i would like to check with you. It concerns the new 18 metre Citaros and their operational capacity. I did a little bit of research myself by downloading the technical specification sheet for the model in question from your excellent site. Here is the link in case you have not seen it yourself: Technical Specifications

Now what interest me is the available floor space per standing passenger when the bus is operating at capacity. Which is to say if 149 passengers plus driver are aboard, how much space is left for each of the 100 other passengers?

I have taken the liberty of making a few calculations of my own and would be extremely grateful if you could confirm their accuracy or else supply me with the correct figure and the formula by which I may arrive at it myself.

According to my calculations using the technical data sheet for the Citaro G model the Citaro has an overall length of 17,940mm and a width of 2,550mm. Dusting off my high-school maths I reckon that affords a total of 31 square centimetres per passenger. This presumes that the measurements correspond to the shell of the bus and necessarily incorporate the driver's cab, various fittings and, of course, the entire seating plan which I think we can surmise permits of rather more than a third of a square metre per seated passenger. Rather, I would estimate that each seated passenger would likely occupy closer to 50 square cm including footspace and that may well be a conservative figure. So if we remove the 48 seated passengers from the available floor area we are subtracting 24 square metres from the initial 45.747 square metres giving us a figure of 21.747 square metres of available floorspace for standing passengers.

Can you confirm this figure or else supply me with the correct one?

Thank you very much for your kind attention.

Regards,

Jon Knowles.

Bus Fancier!

Okay, I'm not really a bus fancier, I'm much more obsessive and monomaniacal than that! I'm sure I'll be forgiven a slight piece of subterfuge under the circumstances.

Now, back to that controversial comparison. Let's Google.....

:: Aggriever's Customer Promise (Part II)

2004-10-14T10:56:00.000Z

I just tried to ring my good friends at Aggriever but to no avail. It just rings off. I assure you I've triple-checked the Customer Services number I advertise below left (02082710200) and I'm informed it's correct. So I rang the switchboard instead (02082710101). I asked the nice lady what was wrong with the CS number and she kindly informed me "Oh, it does work but it just rings until someone answers it."

Before I can stop her she's already trying to switch me to TfL aka London Buses but I am able to stop her. It's Aggriever I want to question NOT TfL. I ask her about Aggriever's Customer Promise leaflet. She's sorry she says, "I just answer the phones." Nevermind. I ask if she can switch me through to someone who can discuss the process of claiming a refund. Lickety-split I am now at London Buses aka TfL yet again!

I speak with Alex who is ultimately extremely helpful but begins by telling me I need to contact Aggriever for this information. I take a breath and point out that I DID call Aggriever who put me through to TfL aka London Buses! Okay, we're back in the world of customer complaints for the third time this morning. I persevere. I clearly state what it is I am after: some explanation from Aggriever about how to claim the refund which they so generously offer in their Customer Promise leaflet. Furthermore, if I could also be informed of the number of occasions where Aggriever had actually fulfilled this promise that would be very useful. Whilst I have his attention I ask if I may also obtain the CCTV footage from any of my journeys. He's not so sure and comes up with a blinding Catch-22. In his opinion Aggriever would certainly release footage to the Police but would not to a member of the public as the footage may also contain images of others whose privacy would then be invaded! I can see that this is going to be the party line. This just encourages me to explore this issue through to the next cul-de-sac.

You see gentle reader, I am already convinced that Aggriever's Customer Promise is yet another piece of corporate hogwash we are supposed to swallow. But, in fairness, I shall let Aggriever establish this for me.

Next we discuss the nature of blame and under what circumstances Aggriever would accept blame for late/early buses. This is most enlightening. Traffic congestion is naturally out, maybe a breakdown would qualify. I suggest overcrowding. He pours cold water all over that one. I put it to him that if Aggriever does not supply enough buses to cater for the number of passengers on the route then surely they could be held responsible for that! But no, apparently that would be the fault of TfL by some amazing twist of logic. I'm beginning to suspect that, like me, Alex can't imagine under what circumstances blame would actually attach to Aggriever for their pisspoor service. He also suspects that Aggriever will not be forthcoming concerning the number of times they have actually paid out to aggrieved passengers. I ask him to pass on te them my intention to seek the information under FOI if it becomes necessary and if I can.

Alex is also kind enough to let me know that my official reference number is 076990/9 an that thus far I have made eight complaints to TfL. I am convinced that I've called them more than that but I keep schtumm. I remind him that I have repeatedly requested that I be given the statutory FORMAL WRITTEN RESPONSE to every single one of my complaints. He asks how many I have received to date. The answer is one.

He kindly undertakes to send through my request to Aggriever and to get them to contact me with their response within three weeks. I ask if he wouldn't mind acting as conduit as "I don't think they like me very much."

Next stop Mercedes again!

:: I despair, I really do....

2004-10-14T08:59:00.000Z

Yesterday evening it's the same old story. The only 73s which stop at Kings Cross are packed with humanity. I wait for ten minutes and take a 476. On the way I make good my promise and call TfL yet again to make a complaint. Yet again I have to tell them my name and postcode all over and go through the exact nature of my complaint. Jesus! Just cut-and-paste yesterday's record and you'll be spot on - it doesn't change. At Beresford Road I tape up a few more of my flyers before doing the same at Newington Green to replace the one which has been removed from the shelter. No doubt I'll have to do the same tonight.

This morning - what can I say? I wholeheartedly commiserate with every woebegotten individual who is condemned to using this pisspoor route. I arrive at the stop at 8:25 am and there's forty people lined up in the rain. After a few minutes M68 stops, although why I can't imagine because it is already full to overcrowding and yet the driver still pretends there's space on board. What is wrong with these people? It's like they're missing some vital stage of formal operations. They must be the kids you used to see at playgroup who endlessly poured the sand from the big jar into the small jar never quite understanding why it spilled over the sides. I am now, officially, going crazy.

Next is a packed 476 which people still try to force their way aboard. Then another 73 so packed it doesn't stop. Then another 73 in the same sorry state, then an other overcrowded 476........ then........ Oh what's the bloody use!

After 12 minutes and some heavyish rain a 73 with some standing space near the doors affords me a ride. By this time I have had 7 minutes of Vivaldi being broadcasted to my phone by TfL as I wait my turn to complain. Yes folks, today you must not only wait endlessly for a bus you can actually board but you now also have to queue in order to complain about it. Genius.

Once again I spent fifteen minutes going through my now furious mantra to some poor schnook on the other end of the line. Name, postcode, rank, serial number..... Oh God, it's just too boring for words. I had no sooner ended the call by which time we are at the middle of Essex Road when we hit a full stop. No, not an item of punctuation carelessly left lying in the road, I mean a bus stop with ANOTHER FORTY PEOPLE playing the great TfL/Aggriever transport lottery: "Roll up, roll up, Laaaydeeeze & Gennelmen, get yer tickets here for a CHANCE to ride one of our exploding cattle cars!"

Naturally they all tried to squeeze on and the situation became so absurdly uncomfortable that I was forced off the damn bus! By now I am livid beyond imagining and once again I call TfL. After a further five minutes of relatively soothing Vivaldi and the opportunity to finish my journey to Euston standing on a wet and crowded 476 I am once again speaking to a customer service minion at TfL. The ensuing conversation lasts for 45 minutes as I once again go through the entire sorry tale of what is so wrong about the 73. This time I've a better typist and she's very calm and nice which is far more than I can say of my tone to her. I guess I am sorry that she has to bear the brunt but hey, I've called them maybe nine or ten times now with same tired old story and nothing changes.

Well she was nice until she told me in her strong New Zealand accent that she found my assessment of 21.7 square centimetres per standing passenger comparable to Nazi death wagons personally offensive. How bizarre! I replied that I was sorry that she found the comparison offensive but hey, if the shoe fits... I find travelling on the 73 offensive and she's sorry about that so we're even I suppose. Then she tells me NOT to make that comparison! Can you Adam & Eve it! She's now attempting to censor my complaint. I'm not allowed to refer to Nazi Germany? I am not allowed to discuss the transportation methods of murderous genocidal regime? What the hell is wrong with people? She may find my comparison in poor taste; she may even have some personal family connection to those events for all I know. Does that mean I can't mention it? What utter bollocks! So far as I know freedom of speech is still somewhat enshrined in law whereas freedom to be offended is not as a whole.

By the time I get to Euston Square and finish my 'offensive' complaint it is 9:20 and it has taken me ONE HOUR from arriving at the bus stop at Beresford Road to get to Euston Square station. The advertised duration of this journey is stated to be 21 minutes.

Several new lines of attack must now be pursued: firstly, I am determined to research the comparison I made on the phone this morning. The Nazis were, as is widely known, obsessively bureaucratic. Somehow, somewhere there is a record of exactly the amount of space they allotted their victims. I am going to find it and compare it to the space afforded by Arriva to standing passengers. I shall do the same for regulations governing the transport of livestock - I apologise in advance if that offends any farmers or animal rights activists. And before I get a flood of emails condemning me let me make this abundantly clear: I AM IN NO WAY SEEKING TO DIMINISH THE EXPERIENCES OF SO MANY UNFORTUNATE VICTIMS OF THE THIRD REICH. I AM SIMPLY INVOKING ONE SINGLE ASPECT OF THE APALLING TREATMENT OF HUMANITY WHICH WE TRY TO IMAGINE WE HAVE SOMEHOW DONE AWAY WITH IN THE 21ST CENTURY.

Yesterday, I began another line of enquiry to determine through the Information Commissioner's Office what I can compel TfL and Arriva to reveal about their shoddy service. Last night my lovely wife reminded me of another freedom we are supposed to enjoy under the DPA. I have it on good authority that upon provision of a nominal fee I can request the CCTV footage from any and all bus journeys during which I was a passenger. And so can you! The best part is I can use Arriva's own footage to prove what we all know. More on this as and when I receive the responses from the various bodies with which I am communicating.

I think it's also time to ask the manufacturers, Mercedes, what amount of floorspace they calculate for standing passengers on their Citaro model buses.

Watch this space.

:: Aggriever's Customer Promise (Part I)

2004-10-13T14:31:00.000Z

Dear Sir/Madam,

As I have frequently had cause to complain about the poor service operated by Arriva on the 73 route I was fascinated to discover the Arriva Customer Promise leaflet which I attach to this email for your edification.

In this leaflet passengers are made the following 'promise':

"If your bus leaves early or is more than 5 minutes late and we are to blame, we will ensure that your next journey is free of charge."

I am particularly interested to discover how such a scheme operates. It is my unfortunate experience that these buses are often more than five minutes late and I would like to take Arriva up on their generous offer. However, since I routinely purchase a weekly travel card for zones 1-2 I fail to see how my next journey can be offered to me at no cost. Obviously, I have already paid for it. Perhaps it is the case that Arriva would refund me the price of the particular journey in question? If so, I would find that entirely acceptable on a rolling basis.

Since it is apparent that TfL takes all the heat for Arriva's shoddy service I should be grateful if you would outline for me what it is I must do in order to obtain my refund. Clearly the bus drivers no longer deal in cold hard ca$h so that looks unpromising. Do the drivers have vouchers perhaps which they are authorised to distribute at their own discretion? May I also know exactly what the hazy qualifier "...and we are to blame" means in practise? I can imagine all manner of reasons why a bus might be late and I would like to clarify in which of these scenarios, if any, blame attaches to Arriva.

1/. The bus spontaneously combusts as it leaves the bus station on its first trip in the morning .[Is this to be considered an Act of God, a la burning bush ? (Exodus 3, passim.)]

2/. The bus is hijacked by Dennis Hopper and driven at speed throughout London, thereby passing every stop on the route far earlier than advertised [I think I know the answer to this one but I need to ensure that you do too.]

3/. The driver is involved in an accident or other incident - such as a breakdown causing delays.

4/. An enormous creature from the Cretaceous period flips the bus over, picks it up and begins to chew it like a candy bar.

5/. Crazed passengers riot at a stop in Stoke Newington at the appalling overcrowding and the riot squad are dispatched to deal with them.

6/. A strike is called by the T&GWU in protest at pisspoor pay scales and London weighting and the management scabs who operate the route can't keep to the timetable.

7/. Delays to the service are caused by the inability of drivers to competently operate the wheelchair access ramp (or else mechanical failure of same).

8/. The wrong kind of leaves on the road.

9/. The wrong kind of road underneath the leaves.

10/. Cliff Richards takes the bus on a Summer Holiday without informing Arriva.

As you can imagine there are many more scenarios about which I am
curious and would like your opinion but for reasons of space I havelimited myself to a mere ten. Most helpful by way of return would be any information AT ALL revealing under exactly what circumstances Arriva may be held to account for the lateness of their buses. I imagine there must be so many but I just can't seem to think of one myself.

Yours Hopefully,

The Man on the 73 Omnibus,
[http://73omnibus.blogspot.com]

:: DPTAC - Disabled Persons Transport Advisory Committee

2004-10-13T13:40:00.000Z

Dear Sir/ Madam,

I am not quite sure that you will be the correct body whose attention should be drawn to this matter, however you may well be able to point me in the right direction if this is the case.

I would like to draw attention to the patently inadequate arrangements made for wheelchair users by Arriva and TfL in relation to the operation of their new Citaro "bendy" buses.

Whilst I myself am able-bodied I have witnessed three separate occasions where wheelchair users have been very poorly treated along the 73 route in a very short passage of time. Since one of the central planks of TfL's argument to replace the admittedly wheelchair unfriendly Routemasters was precisely this issue, I find their inadequacies along this route quite staggering.

For more details I would refer you to my weblog and the September postings of Tuesday, September 07 - Demythologising the 73 route: Disability Access in addition to the posting for Friday, October 01, entitled Mixed Results.

Both postings can be found here: http://73omnibus.blogspot.com

Often, I have observed, it would be simply impossible for wheelchair users (and for that matter parents with strollers) even to attempt to mount these buses as they are so packed full with passengers.

By now, it is entirely possible that you are aware of these issues as I find it hard to believe that I am alone in making these observations.

I feel this situation cannot continue to go unremarked or unpublicised in the light of Arriva and TfL's bald statements concerning disability access.

Yours in solidarity,

The man on the 73 Omnibus,
[http://73omnibus.blogspot.com]

:: Contacting the Health & Safety Executive

2004-10-13T13:01:00.000Z

Surely the HSE will be interested in the manner in which Aggriever and TfL operate the 73 route and the Citaros in general. I visit their website but it's not immediately apparent to whom one should direct an email whose intent is to prevent an accident from occurring. I do, however, locate the following phone number: 08701 545500.

After a brief conversation I am given an email address to which I send the following:

Dear XXXXX,

Thank you for speaking with me earlier. I very much hope you will be better able to draw attention to this matter than I have been thus far.

In short, the new Citaros operated by Arriva (among others) represent a very real danger to the travelling public. I have raised this matter with both TfL and Arriva who reject my concerns out of hand.

The fact of the matter is that the hydraulic doors of the Citaros offer no warning either written or aural when operated by the driver at or near bus stops. I myself have almost fallen from these overcrowded buses when crushed against the doors which subsequently open suddenly. I have also witnessed other passengers who have nearly fallen.

In my opinion it is only a matter of time before a member of the public falls through these doors into the path of an undertaking cyclist or other road user. In any event, I find it incomprehensible that there is absolutely no warning given before the doors open suddenly.

Much of this problem is created as a result of the overcrowding of which Arriva and TfL are routinely guilty. The manufacturers of the Citaro, Mercedes, claim that the operating capacity of these buses is 149 plus driver. Forty-nine seats are available for passengers leaving the remaining 100 standing in insufficient space. Indeed, using Mercedes own engineering figures I have calculated the available space per standee to be 21.7 cm squared. That represents two-thirds of a mousemat! This cannot be an acceptable amount of space to allow per passenger for what are often journeys lasting well in excess of advertised times.

Furthermore, since the abolition of conductors there is now absolutely no reliable means of regulating the flow of passengers onto and off these buses. The implications of this must be clear to all - most especially since these buses were recalled for spontaneously bursting into flames earlier this year.

If you wish to read further details of these problems I would direct you to my Blog (http://73omnibus.blogspot.com) through which I have undertaken to publicise the repeated complaints I have made to Arriva and TfL concerning this and other matters.

It seems to me that these companies may well be negligent in their duty of care towards their customers and that any incident arising as a result of this negligence would clearly be actionable.

I would greatly appreciate you thoughts in this matter.

Regards,

The Man on the 73 Omnibus,
(http://73omnibus.blogspot.com)

If you would like to raise your concerns about the Citaros with the HSE then either call the number published above or else click on the title of this posting.

:: Freedom of Information put to the test ...

2004-10-13T11:24:00.000Z

Here's a copy of my email to the Information Commissioner's Office. Perhaps it will bear fruit; perhaps claims made for FOI are as unrealistic as those made by Aggriever and TfL. Let's find out.

Hello there,

I have what I take to be a simple query. I am a private citizen
currently in dispute with TfL and Arriva regarding the operation of their 73 bus service. I have made numerous complaints to TfL who then forward them to Arriva who respond with stonewalling and dismissive denials.

TfL has just awarded Arriva a licence to operate this route for the next 5 years. Complaints are made to TfL and are recorded by them but never substantively published and only assessed and acted upon (so I'm told) when the specific licence for the route comes up for renewal. This ensures that the body conferring the licence can cover up for the poor performance of its own choice of operator paid with public money. This does not seem like an acceptable arrangement in the public interest.

As a fee-paying passenger I wish to discover the scale and substance of the complaints being made to TfL about this service now, when it matters, not as a glib cherry-picking list of statistics five years hence.

Can I compel TfL to release the broad substance and number of complaints it is receiving from the public under FOI?

Furthermore, whenever I complain about this service I am informed by a recorded message that my conversation "may be monitored and recorded &c....". Can I further compel TfL to release to me any such recordings they may have made and, indeed, the entire record of my complaints to date including any responses and cross-correspondence under the DPA?

Thank you for looking into this matter for me. I look forward to reading your response with interest.

Regards,

The Man on the 73 Omnibus
(http://73omnibus.blogspot.com)

:: Next stop, Advertising Standards Authority

2004-10-13T10:55:00.000Z

If, like me, you are offended and outraged by both Peter Hendy's remarks in the Arriva press release:

"Far more people will now be able to board the first bus that comes along, even on the busiest stretches of one of the capital's most heavily-used bus routes."

If, like me, you are insulted by the mendacious advertising poster at all the 73 bus stops: "The 73 is getting better from every angle."

Then you might also like to complain to the ASA. There's nothing quite so effective in these matters than weight of numbers.

By way of example you can find a copy of my complaint by clicking on the title of this post.

Next stop, FOI.

:: Time to ratchet up the action

2004-10-13T09:41:00.000Z

It strikes me there's a number of things which I might do to cause trouble, expense and disruption to both Aggriever and Transport forLorn in something like the same way they heap grief and aggravation on their unfortunate passengers. These avenues for exploration which, even if not ultimately successful, may create problems and cause hassle for TfL and Aggriever in the medium and long term. If these companies will not listen to reasonable and legitimate consumer disquiet then perfectly legal punitive actions must be taken.

1) FOI - I need to investigate whether I can compell TfL to release details concerning the substance and frequency of public complaints concerning the 73 as a matter of public record under Freedom of Information legislation.

2) False Advertising - TfL and Aggriever are making patently false claims about their service in their advertising bumph. I can make a complaint about this to the Advertising Standards Agency which, hopefully, will cost TfL and Aggriever more time, money & trouble.

3) Free journeys - It is claimed by Aggriever in their bullshit 'Customer Promise Leaflet' that: "If your bus leaves early or is more than five minutes late and we are to blame, we will ensure that your next journey is free of charge." I am at a complete loss to explain how Aggriever would implement such a scheme. It's time to investigate this claim with them and TfL and see what, if anything, it means.

4) Disability access - Contact the various pressure groups who represent the interests of the disabled and raise the matter with them.

5) HSE - The Health and Safety Executive should be informed of the hazard to public safety posed by the doors of the Citaro. Perhaps they can bring pressure to bear on TfL and Aggriever to actually address that very real issue.

Let's see what we can find out.

:: It's like a recurring nightmare.....

2004-10-13T09:10:00.000Z

Back at the Beresford stop this morning watching the crowd gather as it begins to rain. I am running a little late as it's now 8:20. First thing I notice is that my flyer is torn and all the little URL tassles have gone. Either someone has torn them all off in one go or else someone's taking notice. I take another from my bag and tape it over the old one in front of bemused would-be passengers.

A packed 476 goes by without stopping. There's a five minute wait or so before a packed 73 passes. The minutes tick by and another packed 73 arrives and deigns to stop. By now there are about 40 people at the stop and maybe five try to squeeze themselves onto the already packed Citaro. It starts too rain a little harder and most people try to cram themselves under the shelter while they wait. There seems to be some sort of traffic snarl - possibly caused by Citaros trying to pass one another further up the road at Newington Green. Another 73 shows up after some ten minutes or so but it pulls up ahead of the stop and only allows passengers to dismount.

I watch from the corner of my eye as gathering passengers read my flyer and a few tear off strips. I ring TfL and begin the tedious (and quite possibly pointless) process of once again complaining. As you've heard it all before I won't run through the litany again. Suffice to say the call lasted 15 minutes during which I requested a written response to every one of my complaints thus far.

During the call and after some 25 minutes waiting at the bus stop I am finally able to board one of two half full Citaros which arrive together at about 8:45 am. By the lower Essex Road I am once again in a crowded cattle car until our arrival at Angel offers respite from the crush. A couple of middle-aged women pointedly scowl at me because they can overhear my laborious and detailed complaint to TfL. I find it very hard to understand such people - they do nothing to improve their own lot and are critical of someone who takes up the cudgel in their behalf. So much for common cause.

Today I try to ride all the way to Euston Square but I quickly discover that it's hopeless. All in all it's simply quicker to walk from King's Cross to Esuton Square than it is to endure the glacial movement of the 73 at this time in the morning on this day in this town. I dismount a Duke St, taking cold comfort from the Caryatids adorning St. Pancras' Church before crossing the road at the fire sation and continuing to Euston Square.

I left my house at 8:15 am and arrive at work in Hammersmith at just before 10:00. Marvellous.

:: AAaaaargghhhh!

2004-10-12T09:35:00.000Z

Blody hell! Just when you think your journey can't get any worse, it does. By this morning I had forgotten what had happend to me yesterday morning and so was condemned to repeat the experience.

Once again a 476 is first on the scene and there are but a few seats left at the back on the upper deck. I take the rear right bench seat among four schoolgirls, silently compelling one to grudgingly remove her feet. They are talking loudly but aren't being deliberately disruptive. One of the girls begins broadcasting the homogenous and androgenous scale-warbling which passes today for soul music on a radio station loudly from her mobile phone. It is annoying but I filter it out and make a mental note to purchase some ear-plugs from the chemist for future journeys. After five minutes or so a lady nearby has had enough and politely asks if the girls wouldn't mind turning it down - not off, mind you, just down. Not only do they not, they spitefully insist they will turn it up when something they like is played! Next they make disparaging remarks about the woman as she sits and reads her newspaper. This time I do not comment or otherwise intervene. I have already established there is nothing to be gained.

Vicious Little Harpies are everywhere and may warrant a Blog all of their own very soon! It seems to me there is a means of ameliorating some of the worst behaviour of these schoolkids as they ride the buses. I propose that above the exit doors of the bus (or at some other visible point) a small poster of the usual public service bus kind would display the identikit uniform of the school in addition to its crest and reception phone number something like this.

I'm in the habit of dismounting at Thameslink as the bus takes so long to negotiate the lights at the junction of York Way and Grays Inn Road that it's not worth waiting. Invariably as I attempt to cross at the lights an 18 metre Citaro blocks my path on green. This happens a lot and forces pedestrians into what might be seen as dangerous countermeasures.

Having negotiated the blockage successfully I cross onto the south side of Euston Road and walk to the Hammersmith line stairs. An enormous queue of several hundred people has formed at the top of the stairs and I join the other lemmings. After five minutes a bloke with a loud hailer exhorts all those passengers with any hope of using the Hammersmith line to walk to Euston Square station. Dammit! The same thing happened to me yesterday and I failed to remember. I could have stayed on the 476 to Euston Station and then walked up to the Square. The irony isn't lost on me. From now on I am compelled to ride the 476 or 73 EVEN FURTHER than I used to everyday! Isn't life marvellous?

I console myself with the certain knowledge that my contract in Hammersmith is coming to an end with the arrival of November and I won't be wedded to this shitty route indefinitely. Too bad for the rest of the sheep.

Well, time to dismount. See you next ride.

:: Flyers go up

2004-10-12T09:23:00.000Z

I started yesterday evening on my way home from work at the 73 bus stop in front of Kings Cross. I had my flyers and some scotch tape to hand and struck the first blow for passenger rights! Well, actually it was all a little more prosaic than that and I just stuck the thing up on a glass section of the adshel busshelter. Gratifyingly, as I was admiring my handiwork from a little distance a young lady began reading the flyer. I saw a smile flicker across her face before she tore off a URL strip and waited for her bus. Result!

As has become customary a 476 showed up first and I rode it home. I put up another flyer at my evening bus stop just past the Alma near Newington Green and another at my morning stop across the rode. I was getting trigger happy with the scotch tape so I went up to Newington Green proper and stuck another flyer in that adshel for good measure.

Will anybody actually take any notice?

:: Here's the kind of thing I'm talking about....

2004-10-11T15:18:00.000Z

Just as I'd denounced TfL for their failure to send the required written response to a complaint I made last month I received the following:

Mr Knowles,

Please find below, a copy of the response received by First Capital regarding your experience on a route 476 on the 27th September 2004.

The driver handled the situation correctly. Driver's have been advised not
to get out of their cab when there is a situation happening as the cab is
their protection. If there was a problem where the passenger was being
assaulted then he would have gone code red and called for police help.

I understand that the customer was not happy with the way the situation was
dealt with but if the driver had got out of his cab and had been physically
assaulted by the girls. The first question asked would have been "why did
he get out of his cab?".

I can only apologise to the passenger for the inconvenience he had. But
First maintain a policy that their driver's should not leave the cab except
in extreme cases and we have a duty to protect their welfare and safety as
well as our passengers.'

If you should have any further comments or enquiry's, please don't hesitate to contact London Buses customer services.

Regards,
Customer Services
London Buses
customerservices@tfl-buses.co.uk

This constitutes a written version of exactly what I had been read on the phone by one of TfL's customer service staff. I had originally complained about the appalling behaviour of a pack of Catholic School Harpies from Maria Fidelis in Euston who had been shrieking and lightly vandalising the bus I was travelling on - a 476 from Kings cross to Stokey. I had politely asked them to calm it down a little and was met with a barrage of abuse. So I took myself downstairs to inform the driver and ask him if he could/would do anything about it as all the passengers' journeys were being made intolerable. He really didn't give a rat's arse. At no time did I ask or suggest that he leave his cab. I requested that he stop the bus and ask the girls to either behave or leave. He wouldn't do this nor anything else. So far as he was concerned none of this was his problem at all. I asked him if I too could behave like that with impunity - "Be my guest..." he replied.

So this is what you can expect by way of a response to your legitimate grievance - an answer to a question you never even asked. That last sentence just drives it all home doesn't it? "I can only apologise..." Too right, that's the only thing that you people will ever do, when pushed, apologise. Actually remedying any sort of legitimate problem is not on the cards. Furthermore, as they say they have a "duty to protect the welfare and safety of passengers" but dealing with vicious Harpie schoolgirls is far too much of a threat. That job is left to the public.

They really are a useless bunch of bastards. I'm getting less and less sympathetic with the drivers too.

I wrote them back in a purple mist of rage:

What a load of old bollocks!

1). I NEVER suggested that the driver leave his cab and "put himself at the considerable risk" of facing down some Harpie schoolgirls.

2). The driver did NOTHING in response to my informing him of disruption and acts of petty vandalsim. So that's the correct way to handle these situations is it? Do absolutely NOTHING! Useless.

3). My actions in first politely requesting that the girls desist was met with abuse and further screaming. In effect I was doing the job of the driver in looking out for fellow passengers AND the bus!

4). I requested that the driver do SOMETHING. He showed not the slightest interest. When I suggested to him that he could pull over and demand that the girls either behave or leave he told me he could not. Many's the time I've seen exactly that course of action taken with non-paying passengers - so that's just another load of old cobblers too is it?

You people really are amazing. Your service is shite and when you receive legitimate complaint all you do is stonewall by acting as if I had asked the driver to wrestle a freakin' alligator! What a hopeless joke this complaints service is.

I won't even bother to notify you again. It's clear you know what crap service you offer and you have not got the power or the will to actually do something about it. This (and future) complaints will be escalated to the LTUC in the hope that maybe they'll be interested in your slack attitude and pisspoor service.

If you seriously expect members of the public EVER to weigh in on behalf of your drivers then you had better start weighing in for us!!

Bloody useless. Yeah, you're right, the only thing you CAN do is apologise.

:: Talk is cheap....

2004-10-11T13:37:00.000Z

Having little better to do in my lunch hour I have finally printed my flyers and they will begin gracing bus stops on the 73 route from late tonight. Hopefully the result will be that many long-suffering passengers out there will make contact and let their feelings be known on this blog.

For a visual display of quick 'n' dirty protest, click the title of this posting.

Why here? Well, I would urge you all to make use of the 'customer service' numbers, various emails and the like which I have previously published to this blog. But the point of manifesting complaints on this blog is that they will, at least, be very public. You may complain all you like to TfL but the substance of complaints will NEVER be publicised and you will not discover how others feel. TfL merely forwards your complaint to the operator who, if you contact them directly, will tell you to 'piss off' nicely.

Since we know that TfL awarded Aggriever their licence for the NEXT FIVE YEARS we shouldn't expect improvements along any time soon - a bit like their buses!

TfL are supposed to be obliged to send a written answer to complaints but I'm still waiting for mine after explicitly demanding one.

So if, like me, you do not trust either of these companies to look after your interests then you have little alternative. Tell The Man on the 73 Omnibus about your awful experiences and at least we can all see their extent.

Looks like my stop.

Later.

:: All Aboard? LTUC report from 2001 - thing's haven't changed!

2004-10-08T11:37:00.000Z

I've just got through reading the "Statement of evidence from the London Transport Users Committee to the London Assembly’s scrutiny of bus priority issues March 2001" and it is very revealing. To save you the effort, gentle reader, I have excerpted a few of the high points for your edification. Bear in mind that this document was written in 2001. Plus ca change....

1.4 "...at present TfL is under no formal obligation to account for its tendering decisions publicly (and unlike local authorities elsewhere it still has discretion over what information about them, if any, it chooses to release)."

2.2 "...TfL tracks the qualitative aspects of bus performance (such as cleanliness, information and staff attitudes) by means of its CSS and MTS, but it currently has no means of compelling (as opposed to exhorting) operators to improve these. As a result, it is difficult to know what significance should be attached to the targets which have been set for these attributes, though performance against them is routinely reported to the TfL Board and to LTUC."

2.3 (b) "Automatically entitling passengers to compensation payments from operators for unsatisfactory journeys (a number of bus operators outside London choose to offer these already, believing it to be a commercially beneficial selling-point for their services). Research has shown that the compensation arrangements in the Underground’s passenger charter are the element most highly valued by users – but efforts by LRPC to persuade LT to include an equally unambiguous commitment in the equivalent document for bus passengers made little headway."

7.5 "A related communications issue is the proficiency of TfL (and bus operators) in handling public correspondence. Shortcomings in this field were identified in a report commissioned by London Buses (from a specialist consultant, Ros Gardner), and at a one-day seminar for the London bus industry (sponsored by the Cabinet Office’s Service First Unit). In an effort reduce the number of complaints which become elevated to the status of appeals to the Committee, because they are not satisfactorily handled by operators in the first instance, LRPC has published guidance under the title 'Yours disgusted, yours delighted'."

7.6 "Despite this, continuing weaknesses in this area were identified in the Best Value Pilot Review of TfL's customer services (draft report January 2001) which remarks, a propos of TfL’s letters, that “The material we looked at was uniformly poor, at best. Many examples are amongst the worst we have seen… The style of the writing looks as if it has not been reviewed for years.” Rather than appearing customer focussed, TfL’s responses “made the organisation appear to be bureaucratic, resistant to change, defensive and unresponsive.” It generally came across as “out of touch, out of date, more concerned with its own processes and operations than with genuine service, defensive rather than listening or taking customer care seriously, and not very good at communicating.” Even in the improbable event of none of these negative attributes actually existing, such criticism would still be damning, because what it relates to is the public image that the organisation projects"

Q16. How can bus stop dwell times be reduced?

16.6 "By replacing double-deckers with articulated buses with multiple doors – but only on routes with suitably engineered stops and 100% guaranteed access to kerbsides. Such vehicles would necessitate either conductors or a firmly-enforced penalty fares regime. There are also safety risks with vehicles where boarding and alighting takes place at points remote from the driver, unless stops are fitted with mirrors and monitors of the kind used on railway platforms."

Q19. "Do operators do enough to monitor real time running of services?"

19.1 "Probably not, but it is impossible for passengers to answer this with certainty, since such monitoring as they may do is an internal matter, the results of which they are under no obligation to make public. If it does happen, the observations must be made covertly, because uniformed roadside inspectors are a great rarity these days."

19.2 "But since the present contractual regime is based on quantitative rather than qualitative targets (i.e. delivery of bus kilometres rather than of buses at regular intervals or on time) there appears to be relatively little incentive for operators to exercise real-time control. The initiative tends to be left to TfL to monitor running times and adjust schedules, which sometimes have too little running and layover time during the peaks (when staff and vehicle resources are stretched) and too much in the evenings (when early running is more common)."

25.5 "In Switzerland, cabinet ministers join the queue at the bus stop on their way home from work. In Norway, the head of state rides on public transport and pays his own fare. In Britain, television offers 'Top Gear' not 'Top Deck', and the star prize in game shows is a car not a lifetime Travelcard (or, if it is a holiday abroad, the winner is whisked to the airport by limousine, not on Airbus). At gala nights at the theatre, cinema or opera, celebrities alight from cars, not from buses, to process up the red carpet. When our public icons are seen using public transport as a matter of course, instead of merely heard preaching its virtues, we will know that the tide of opinion has truly changed."

:: We are not alone....

2004-10-08T08:16:00.000Z

I have to admit my 8:00 am journey from Newington Green to Kings Cross went without a hitch this morning and I even got a seat. Nor was the bus particularly crowded. Nothing to complain about. Nevertheless, I'd feel more reassured if there was anecdotal evidence from folk out there of improvements or otherwise.

Maybe you've got a different bus in your bonnet. Don't let that stop you, just click on over to blogger.com and set up shop about your route. If you leave it up to the likes of Aggriever and Transport forLorn to listen and respond effectively to customer complaints you'll be waiting a long time. Don't forget, as far as the 73 is concerned Aggriever have just been awarded a five year operator's licence.

Last night my wife found a wonderful site that I really must commend to you.

Ladies & gentlemen, fellow passengers I give you Mr. Matthew Wharmby's London Bus Page
[http://www.londonbuspage.com/contents.htm - or click the title of this post].

Mr. Wharmby has an enthusiast's eye for what is wrong with the 73 which interests me strangely and confirms some of my suspicions. What he suggests underlies the entire problem is the unsuitability of the Citaro's design to the specific route: " ... they don't belong on mainstream trunk routes like the 73. They don't tell you that you're in London, and thus better than everyone else for being there. There's not an ounce of charm to them - they're just conveyances." Do go and have a read of his brief article 'Route 73 Gets Worse From Every Angle', it's a damning account of the first day's operation of the 73.

Something else has been puzzling me lately. It's something I read in one of those Aggriever or TfL prop sheets I downloaded called their 'Customer Promise' leaflet: "If your bus leaves early or is more than 5 minutes late and we are to blame, we will ensure that your next journey is free of charge." How do they intend to deliver on that promise and how is blame for delays determined? It will not have escaped your notice that buses are becoming cashless and you must already have a ticket before boarding. Will the driver squirrel away a special cache of free bus tickets to award to those who complain directly to him about lateness? I very much doubt it.

The 73 has been frequently late in my experience and I'm minded now to attempt a free journey out of Aggriever the next time their bus is late. I wonder how many obstacles they will put in my path.

Well, this is my stop. It's been nice talking to you. Do have a pleasant journey.

:: I reply to TfL

2004-10-07T14:09:00.000Z

Mr Miles,

I read with interest your response to my observations about the 73 and the service as a whole since the introduction of the new Citaros. I am grateful that you at least had the courage and decency to respond at length - unlike Aggriever who merely dismissed my concerns in a single contemptuous sentence.

However, I must object to the glib way which you have glided over many of the points I addressed to you. Either you fail to address them or else you simply provide a bunch of 'company facts' which may well be answers - to questions I never asked.

You seem also to mistake me for a diehard Routemaster fan. Whilst I preferred the Routemasters, I initially accepted TfL's claims for the Citaro at face value. Since then these claims have proven inconsistent with my experience and many simply do not bear up under scrutiny.

Let's look at them again:

1) Your 73 service is dangerously overcrowded during key periods of the day.

Despite your lengthy answer attempting to suggest otherwise, I have, as they say, the ocular proof. There's nothing beats experience and, unlike many of your customer service staff (I ask them every time) I HAVE ACTUALLY TRAVELLED on the 73 at peak times. So you'll forgive me if I prefer the evidence of mine own eyes to your blandishments. Furthermore, as my campaign ramps up, we'll see how many people share my view. Not that you'll let the facts get in the way of good PR.

2) It is only a matter of time before a passenger suffers injury as a result of this overcrowding.

The simple fact of the matter Mr Miles is that the doors on the Citaro open WITHOUT WARNING either visual or aural at and around stops. I have almost fallen out as a consequence of being pressed up against these doors by the crush of too many passengers and I have witnessed other identical incidents. If you choose to ignore this danger it will be my solemn duty to produce this correspondence in any court case arising from TfL's negligence. I shall certainly be scanning the papers for any such incidents and inviting my blog readers to notify me.

3) Although the driver will be held responsible for what happens on the bus s/he has no effective control over the numbers boarding the bus.

Your answer is no answer at all. Are you implying that the CCTV cameras somehow control the passenger admissions? If so, then the Citaro is indeed a technical marvel. I fear, however, that it is not. You further claim that the Citaro has a capacity of 149 passengers - one more than even the manufacturer claims! Yet Aggriever and Transport forLorn variously state the capacity is between 130 and 149 in their advertising bumph. Which is it? Let's accept the figure published by Mercedes in their technical specifications sheet for the Citaro. Here we learn that according to the manufacturers the Citaro has a capacity of 148 passengers, 48 seated & 100 standing. We also discover that the Citaro has an overall length of 17,940mm and a width of 2,550mm. Dusting off my high-school maths I reckon that affords a total of 31 square centimetres per passenger. That almost sounds feasible until we consider that the measurements appear to correspond to the shell of the bus and necessarily incorporate the driver's cab, various fittings and, of course, the entire seating plan which I think we can all agree permits of rather more than a third of a square metre.

I would estimate that each seated passenger would likely occupy closer to 50 square cm including footspace and that may well be a conservative figure. So if we remove the 48 seated passengers from the available floor area we are subtracting 24 square metres from the initial 45.747 square metres giving us a figure of 21.747 square metres of available floorspace for standing passengers.

Aaah! Now that sounds more like it. Bearing in mind that I still have not allowed for space occupied by the driver's cab, the fittings or the likelihood that the technical sheet provides absolute dimensions of the chassis, we now have a more accurate idea of how much space each standing passenger can expect to command should s/he board a bus already carrying 147 passengers plus driver. That's 21.747 divided by 100 (the stated number of standing passengers according to M-B) equals 21.7 square centimetres per person.

Now take your mousemat and stand on two thirds of it for twenty minutes in a large group of people in a small room and you have a good idea of what I'm talking about.

I am still trying to find how much room the Nazis allocated per victim in their notorious 'cattle cars' to Auschwitz and elsewhere. I imagine your allotment of 21.7 square centimetres is quite competitive. Well done!

4) Maximum passenger numbers are regularly exceeded on the 73 route.

"The carrying capacity of the 73 has been significantly increased, and the maximum capacity would not be exceeded. The carrying capacity is effectively self-enforcing, so that the maximum available capacity is not exceeded."

I have decided to quote your response here as well. It a wonderful example of a non sequitur. Because capacity has increased it cannot be exceeded!? The capacity is self-enforcing? This is patently absurd. The only sense I can make out of this marvellous piece of nonsense is that the capacity of the bus is governed by how many people can squeeze themselves on at any stop. Thank you for clearing that up.

5) Wheelchair users and parents with strollers are frequently and routinely denied access to overcrowded buses during key times.

"The groups mentioned would simply not be able to easily access the previously used Routemaster vehicles at all. One of the reasons for introducing articulated buses was to ensure that the disabled, elderly or those who travel with small children could use the service. I have mentioned that the 73 is one of the most well used routes on the network, and it is vital that it is accessible to all."

Once again Mr Miles you avoid actually addressing the issue. I'm not talking about the Routemasters which I acknowledge were phased out, partly at least, due to accessibility issues. As I said, I have frequently witnessed wheelchair users and young parents inability to board the Citaros because they are totally full. It's no good telling me it used to be worse on the Routemasters! Try again.

6) There has been little or no effective training for drivers in disability sensitivity or emergency.

You say there has. I say IF there has it has clearly proven inadequate. On three separate occasions I have witnessed the inadequate treatment of wheelchair users and the failure of the Citaros in combination with the drivers to offer them the proper assistance: once the driver DID NOT even operate the ramp; on another occasion the ramp FAILED to work. If you want evidence of this I suggest you go and ride the bus route yourself. I don't need proof because I've actually SEEN these things.

7) The Citaro represents a clear danger to cyclists.

This is anecdotal, which is to say my cyclists friends tell me this is the case. For my part I cannot personally confirm it but now that you deny it I'm sure there will be cyclists who would like to add to the weight of discussion. I have, however, seen the Citaro take corners. Wow it turns on a ferris wheel!

8) You have decreased the available seating for passengers overall and increased the number of passengers standing whilst allotting them even smaller space.

Again, sadly whilst spewing forth all manner of statistics and spurious research you simply ignore the nub of the above statement. How much space do you allow a single passenger on a 73 when it is at capacity? I have concluded that this is about 21.7 square centimetres. Pitiful and probably illegal. As with the issue of dangerous doors since you are unwilling to accept that you have a problem here I will be forced to take these matters up with the public, the press and the Health and Safety Executive.

Furthermore, your outstanding research indicates that the average journey is 1.6 miles and 'relatively short'. Maybe so in terms of distance but that's not the important measurement here is it? If it took me two minutes to get from Newington Green to Kings Cross then you might be on to something but it doesn't and you're not! It takes in excess of twenty-five minutes standing on less than the area of a mousemat!

In regards to your final remarks about my leafletting passengers you really mustn't concern yourself. Since you are so patently contemptuous of the realities of the passenger experience I shall restrict myself to the large queues at my stop in the morning. If other passengers take my leaflets aboard with them I can hardly be held responsible now can I? In any event, if you choose to elevate my campaign by giving me what I believe is currently known as 'the Oxygen of Publicity' then more fool you.

One more thing, it is TfL and Arriva who are 'giving offence or causing nuisance to other passengers' which is why we are having this exchange in the first place. Since I find your response to be weak and inadequate I shall be escalating this complaint to the LTUC in the usual way.

I thank you for the new number for complaints and I will be sure to pass it on to everybody I can.

Thank you for your time and you may see this reply posted with your initial response at: http://73omnibus.blogspot.com

Good day.

:: TfL give a formal response

2004-10-07T13:04:00.000Z

I have been avoiding using the 73 in the main over recent days for reasons that must be obvious to all. If the 476 stops first it's invariably a much better bet and, indeed that's what's been happening lately. That's not to say that a full 73 or two doesn't fly by my stop in the morning ahead of any 476, they do - frequently.

Today's posting really concerns the response I have received from TfL's 'Customer Services' department addressing the issues I put to them via email some days ago now.

Here's Mr. Andrew Miles' email verbatim:

Dear Mr Knowles

I am replying to your e-mail of 28 September. I will respond to your main points as follows:

1) Your 73 service is dangerously overcrowded during key periods of the day.

The revised service using articulated vehicles provides a significant increase in capacity during the peak periods. During the height of the peak period, the articulated vehicles provide roundly 25% extra capacity compared to the Routemaster-operated service.

Prior to the change, a key issue that was frequently raised with us by stakeholders is that there were capacity problems along parts of the route, particularly the Essex Road/Upper Street corridor. We introduced articulated buses in response to these concerns, increasing the likelihood that passengers are able to board the first bus in the peak period.

Articulated buses bring a number of additional benefits.   The increased carrying capacity, better internal design and open boarding means that these buses spend less time at bus stops than one-person operated Double deck vehicles (which would be the alternative vehicle to the Routemaster were the articulated bus not used), which helps improve journey time and reliability. Unlike Routemasters, articulated buses are fully accessible to the disabled, elderly or those with young children, shopping or luggage. The 73 is one of the most well-used services on the network, and it is vital that it is accessible to all.

Route 476 (Tottenham Swan - Euston) was introduced in February 2003 and parallels large parts of route 73, providing an extra 500 seats per hour in the peak period that were not there previously.

Therefore the service has been developed to take account of the need for extra capacity on this busy route, and that is what the articulated vehicles provide.

2) It is only a matter of time before a passenger suffers injury as a result of this overcrowding.

We have an excellent safety record and would certainly not take a course of action that we believed would jeopardise the safety of passengers, staff, pedestrians or other road users. Since January 2000, there has been an equivalent of 1.6 injuries per million customer journeys on the bus network. Over 60% of these are minor injuries.   Whilst this proves that travelling by bus is actually very safe, we have found that the number of accidents on open-platform buses (ie. Routemasters) is actually around double that of doored vehicles.

3) Although the driver will be held responsible for what happens on the bus s/he has no effective control over the numbers boarding the bus.

The carrying capacity of articulated buses used on the 73 is 149 passengers.   The driver has CCTV showing the middle and rear doorways. We are confident that drivers are able to operate the vehicle within these limits.

4) Maximum passenger numbers are regularly exceeded on the 73 route.

The carrying capacity of the 73 has been significantly increased, and the maximum capacity would not be exceeded. The carrying capacity is effectively self-enforcing, so that the maximum available capacity is not exceeded.

5) Wheelchair users and parents with strollers are frequently and routinely denied access to overcrowded buses during key times.

The groups mentioned would simply not be able to easily access the previously used Routemaster vehicles at all. One of the reasons for introducing articulated buses was to ensure that the disabled, elderly or those who travel with small children could use the service. I have mentioned that the 73 is one of the most well used routes on the network, and it is vital that it is accessible to all.

6) There has been little or no effective training for drivers in disability sensitivity or emergency.

This is not true. As part of a major programme across all London bus companies, all existing drivers are in the process of completing a vocationally related BTEC qualification (that is unique to London), including those on Route 73. The programme for the BTEC includes a full day's disability equality training. In addition to the BTEC training, all the drivers on the 73 have had a further full day or more of training, on a one-to-one basis with an instructor. This included all safety aspects of the vehicle, ramp training and route safety aspects.

7) The Citaro represents a clear danger to cyclists.

There is no evidence to support this. Articulated buses have been operating in London since June 2002 and there have been no reported incidents that can be attributable to their articulated nature. Furthermore, during a PCV (Passenger Carrying Vehicle) driver's initial training, much emphasis is placed on the need to drive so as to ensure they safely and courteously co-exist with other road-users. Particular emphasis is given on the need to ensure that vulnerable road-users, such as pedestrians and cyclists, are taken into consideration. The need to look out for cyclists is further re-enforced by specific questions in both the Hazard Perception and Theory Tests, compulsory for all new PCV drivers. In addition, extra signage has been included on the articulated vehicles used on route 73 to indicate to other road users that the vehicle is 18 metres long. We plan to apply this additional signage to all of the other articulated buses in London. There is a period of driver familiarisation with articulated buses. This ensures that drivers are familiar with their vehicle, and so further ensures the safety of other road users.

8) You have decreased the available seating for passengers overall and increased the number of passengers standing whilst allotting them even smaller space.

Research has shown that most journeys on the 73 are relatively short. The average journey length on the 73 is 1.6 miles and 55% of passengers' travel less than 2 miles. There are a number of areas along the route where passengers tend to board and disembark simultaneously en masse.

Passenger research undertaken during 2003 has shown that:

- Passengers approve of the bendy bus design, finding the open boarding facility and additional standing space useful.

- Passengers are more satisfied with articulated buses than other types of bus.

Articulated buses are fully accessible. We have increased the number of easily accessible seats for passengers using the 73, compared to the previous vehicle. We acknowledge that there are fewer seats overall, but for reasons I have already explained we believe that these accessible articulated buses bring more benefits than disbenefits to all 73 users.

The telephone number for our Customer Services department has changed. Please replace the telephone number you have listed for us with 0845 300 7000.

The PCV Regulations (Passenger Carrying Vehicle) No. 1020/90 state that "except with the permission of the operator" no passenger shall "distribute any paper or other article for the purpose of giving or seeking information about or comment on any matter". I would ask you to bear these regulations in mind. I understand that Arriva have not given permission to distribute leaflets. We would also ask that you refrain from littering on board the bus, and giving offence or causing nuisance to other passengers.

Yours Sincerely

Andrew Miles
Customer Services

:: Same Ol', same old....

2004-10-04T13:19:00.000Z

It's my third wedding anniversary today!

To celebrate I took the 476 into Kings Cross.

Well, actually the first 476 filled up with waiting passengers at 8:00 and the next bus along was a 73 that was so full it didn't stop. Then came that rarest of beasts an almost empty 476.

For the first time in over three weeks I took a twenty minute bus journey sitting down.

Aaaaaah!

:: Council Tax payers will meet the cost of course!

2004-10-01T15:20:00.000Z

£1m cost of housing 'too big' bendy buses
By Andrew Gilligan, Evening Standard
2 September 2004

Plans to replace the Routemaster on London's busiest bus route will cost £1 million extra because the new "bendy buses" are too big for existing depots.

Bus company Arriva is having to build new facilities for its No73 vehicle stock, being introduced despite protesters' insistence that the world-famous Routemasters should be kept.

Officials plan a new "bendy friendly" garage at Leeside Road, Edmonton. But construction has not yet started because planning permission was not sought in time.

Now Arriva has been forced - at yet further expense - to hire a former waste site from a local landlord-to house the new vehicles. Transport for London denies claims that some will still have to be parked on the street each night.

"It's completely bonkers," said Cherry Klein of the Save The 73 Campaign, which wants to retain the open-backed Routemasters. "It shows how little thought they've given the whole process."

The existing No 73 depot, in Philip Lane, Tottenham, is one of the most modern in London, having been extended and refurbished only a few years ago.

But bendy buses, although fewer in number than Routemasters, need more than double their turning and reversing space. To cope with this, Arriva wants to expand its Edmonton maintenance base by two square kilometres.

Enfield council, which fears the access road is not wide enough, cannot consider Arriva's plan until the middle of next month.

A TfL spokesman said the scrapping of Routemasters will " definitely" go ahead from this Saturday, despite fears in Islington and Stoke Newington that it will halve peak-hour seating capacity on the No 73 route.

All the infrastructure costs of bendy buses will be met by TfL and passed on to council tax payers.

:: Well, well... fare-dodging AND record profits? Who's paying?

2004-10-01T14:55:00.000Z

Fare dodgers cost £83m
http://www.thisislondon.com/traffic/articles/13447482?source=Evening%20Standard
28 September 2004

By Ross Lydall,Evening Standard Local Government Correspondent

Fare dodgers cost London £83 million a year, figures reveal today.

An astonishing £40 million is lost annually on the Tube, with a further £43million on the buses, Ken Livingstone has admitted.

This is equivalent to about 120,000 unpaid bus journeys each day, with thousands more on the Underground.

The figures come only a week after the Mayor announced a series of inflation-busting fare rises. From January, bus fares will soar by 20 per cent - from £1 to £1.20 - while some daily Travelcards will jump 13 per cent, to raise an extra £125 million for major transport projects.

The scale of fare dodging emerges in a written answer to Liberal Democrat Lynne Featherstone, who chairs the London Assembly's transport committee. She called for a clampdown on offenders and for penalty fines to be trebled from £10 to £30.

"Fare dodgers are no better than shoplifters," Ms Featherstone said. "Cracking down on fare evasion would crack down on fare rises."

Evasion is proving a particular problem on bendy buses, which have three doors for boarding.

Passengers are required to pay before boarding, although the driver does not check tickets.

Cashing in on better services
http://www.thisislondon.com/traffic/articles/13323743?source=Evening%20Standard
22 September 2004

By Ross Lydall, evening Standard Local Government Correspondent

A series of major companies have cashed in on the franchises to run London's bus system but just four are the mainstay of bus routes across the city. The four - Arriva, Go-Ahead, First and Stagecoach - have had to fight accusations of being run by "fat cat" bosses and of propping up their profits through subsidies from Transport for London.

Arriva combines buses with other transport operations including trains and car hire. Its three London operating companies - Arriva London North, South and North-East - run a total of 95 bus routes, with a turnover of £157 million.

They are seen as major parts of the group as a whole, which made £60.1 million profit in the last year. One of the jewels in its crown is the No 73, the city's busiest bus route, which was converted from Routemasters to bendy buses this month.

Boss Bob Davies was rewarded with a £550,000 salary and bonuses package.

From: www.thisislondon.com - click on header of this post for full article.

:: Mixed results

2004-10-01T08:46:00.000Z

Straight down to it...

Last evening's return journey from Kings Cross to Stokey was not too bad. I can't complain but I'm still not sitting down for joy. In truth, even though we all know the bus is effectively free of charge I suspect quite a few passengers could press for free journeys due to lateness should they so choose.

Later on a very interesting incident took place at Newington Green main bus stop, the one in front of where the petrol station used to be. As it happens my wife and I were heading out to dinner with her parents who are visiting from Canada. Whilst waiting for a 341 we saw a number of buses pass the stop. Enter stage left a young bloke in a wheelchair out with a mate. I must confess to whispering under my breath to my wife: "This'll be interesting..." Sure 'nuff...

The two guys approached the front door to be acknowledge by the driver who then 'knelt' the bus and closed all the doors as the guys moved towards the middle entrance. As they waited there to board the driver seemed to be trying to operate the ramp as there was some hissing or beeping going on. The doors remained closed and the ramp jutted out a couple of inches. Nothing happened. More waiting. More fiddling.

By now sixteen or so persons are marvelling at the technological wizardry of the Mercedes Citaro as they await their respective rides. The doors open expressively and the driver tries to operate the ramp again. No dice. By now the fellow in the chair and his companion are approaching the front of the bus to speak a second time to the driver. Abandoning hope of actually using the access ramp the ask if the driver could pull up closer. He does so with a few jerks of the wheel and presto, they struggle awkwardly aboard through the centre doors. Easy! Wish I'd had my camera.

This morning's ride was tolerable I'll freely admit, but not without incident. As I believe I have mentioned I had planned to brighten up this dark corner of the web with a few pictures to illustrate these simple truths. However, that has not proven to be as easy as I thought. I had not realised that it is actually quite difficult to take decent photos of anything on a busy Citaro. I mean what are you to do? Take a photo of the back of some bugger's duffle coat or the back of a few heads and say, "There, see....? Really crowded." It's just not going to work. Furthermore, although I had dedicatedly dragged along my IXUS in pocket to document the Hell that can be the 73 I had not thought to disable the flash.

Damn thing keeps going off even after I thought I had disabled it. It's not what you want when you're trying to take a few discreet photos of people pressed up against one another. They don't much relish being temporarily blinded either and I don't really want to draw fire just now. Sod it, I'll have to have a think about this. Seems to me that the best pictures are going to have to be taken, perforce, from outside the bus. You know, the kind of mid-closeup that shows a distraught and haggard visage with one hand raised up to the window as if in recognition that the vain hope of rescue has now faded. Or else document the 'improved disability access' of the Citaro in action.

I did take a couple of photos in the end but I don't hold out much hope for them. If there's anything worth seeing I'll start adding them tomorrow. I'd certainly be interested in receiving others' snaps of 73 madness with or without acknowledgement; as you prefer.

After I give up on the indoor photography, I settle for standing on my mouse mat to the right of the rear doors. Although it may seem I stand here regularly out of preference I invariably end up here because the bus is generally already pretty full, crowded or overcrowded and it's therefore the logical space I would end up. A few people board along the Essex Road, a few disembark. There's a chap next to me deep in the first chapter of a Thomas Patterson thriller "Big Bad Wolf" and he's got his back against the left hand side of the rear door. When we reach the antique market at Islington the doors open unexpectedly with their distinctive expressive sound. Pity they don't make that noise five seconds or so BEFORE they open so that you've at least a chance to check yourself. I had my arm up behind him just as he fell backwards but he was able to rock himself forward to equilibrium. "Dangerous that, isn't it?" I can't help remarking, "Not so much as a sign or a warning noise. It's only a matter of time really..." Our wobbling reader nods in agreement and utters the words " Bloody useless!"

:: TfL are forthcoming

2004-09-30T20:18:00.000Z

As I am in the process of verifying some of the complaints phone numbers that are bandied about I fall into a broader conversation with a TfL operator who is most forthcoming. I learn that details of complaints are recorded and sent via email to the route operators as and when they arrive at TfL. However, no complaint can be responded to unless the person making the complaint furnishes an address or email. If that is supplied the caller is entitled to a FULL WRITTEN RESPONSE within a maximum of fifteen days.

None of the complaints are published although unspecified statistical information may be extrapolated from them when the time comes to renew the operator's licence for a particular route. Presumably TfL take this into account when choosing from among the handful of companies they are compelled to rely on. These licences are issued on a per route basis and so it is that Arriva's concessions are staggered all over London in terms of duration.

The next piece of information will come as no surprise, gentle reader. Arriva has just had its five year licence to operate the 73 route renewed on 04/09/04. The current awful implications of this are clear. Arriva won't give a tinker's cuss about its passengers anytime before 04/09/09 unless TfL can somehow compel it. That's right folks! You and apparently 15m others per year will be paying Arriva a minimum of £1.20 per journey very shortly for the mere chance to board an overcrowded bus at the time of their choosing in what could be billed as public frottage sessions usually beloved of exotic Japanese fetishists! Form an orderly queue ....... No pushing there!

:: I visit Mercedes-Benz

2004-09-30T18:01:00.000Z

As it happens M-B are all too helpful on their site and I quickly locate the data I need. If you would like to see it for yourself then click on the title of this article.

Wherein you will find the technical data sheet for the Citaro G model known to us as the 'bendy-bus'. Here we learn that according to the manufacturers the Citaro has a capacity of 148 passengers, 48 seated & 100 standing. We also discover that the Citaro has an overall length of 17,940mm and a width of 2,550mm. Dusting off my high-school maths I reckon that affords a total of 31 square centimetres per passenger. That almost sounds feasible until we consider that the measurements appear to correspond to the shell of the bus and necessarily incorporate the driver's cab, various fittings and, of course, the entire seating plan which I think we can all agree permits of rather more than a third of a square metre.

I would estimate that each seated passenger would likely occupy closer to 50 square cm including footspace and that may well be a conservative figure. So if we remove the 48 seated passengers from the available floor area we are subtracting 24 square metres from the initial 45.747 square metres giving us a figure of 21.747 square metres of available floorspace for standing passengers.

Aaah! Now that sounds more like it. Bearing in mind that I still have not allowed for space occupied by the driver's cab, the fittings or the likelihood that the technical sheet provides absolute dimensions of the chassis, we now have a more accurate idea of how much space each standing passenger can expect to command should s/he board a bus already carrying 147 passengers plus driver. That's 21.747 divided by 100 (the stated number of standing passengers according to M-B) equals 21.7 square centimetres per person.

Now take your mousemat and stand on two thirds of it for twenty minutes in a large group of people in a small room and you have a good idea of what I'm talking about.

:: I believe in balance & fairness dammit!

2004-09-30T17:04:00.000Z

In all fairness today's journey is hassle-free and not overcrowded.

I do not get to the stop until 8:25 and I am able to catch the third bus that passes within the next ten minutes. The first bus is a 476 which is pretty full. By now there are perhaps ten people waiting and about half squeeze on before the driver turns the rest away. Next comes a Citaro which is already quite crowded for my liking but nevertheless a couple of people think it worth boarding. Then comes another Citaro which looks like it still has capacity.

On board there are no remaining seats so I already know there is in excess of 49 passengers which, according to the various claims of the companies, means there's still space for another 71 to 101 souls. I estimate there are another twenty-five people when I board and none of us will be swinging any cats. I am beginning to seriously doubt the claims made for the capacity of these Citaros as I can't see anybody being happy about another 46-76 people boarding. Where would they stand? Throw a wheelchair or a couple of strollers in the mix and you've a real crush on your hands.

Moreover, whenever an overcrowded Citaro reaches a stop, most of the standing passengers are forced to realign themselves in order to let other passengers disembark. The aisle is strictly single file and if occupied prevents seated passengers from alighting without emptying the aisles.

I cynically expect that today's trip will fill up rapidly and by the time we get further down the Essex Road the Citaro will be heaving with humanity in the usual fashion. However, the population of the bus does not, in my estimation, exceed about 85 persons at any stage yet at its fullest I cannot see room for another 35-65 people.

It seems to me that I will have to try to workout the available floorspace area of the Citaros minus that reserved for seating in an effort to lay this question to rest: how much space in square centimetres ahve been allowed for each standing passenger aboard the Mercedes Citaro?

Let's see what I can find out from the manufacturers.

:: 1,2,3,4 I declare a Bus War

2004-09-29T16:18:00.000Z

Having outlined my case to both TfL and Arriva I was hopeful of some sort of speedy reply but answer came there none.

I understand that there are systems and processes designed to thwart, delay, defer, exhaust and frustrate the average complaint - there always are. Companies routinely insulate themselves from direct communication with their consumers by constructing a layer of 'customer service' minions whom they arm with meaningless mission statements full of touchy-feely language. Better yet, if it can be outsourced to some far-flung corner of the globe there's bound to be even less chance that any complaint will be actioned or the fault remedied.

As we've seen with Arriva and TfL's complaint system it's not immediately clear to whom one is complaining and why they should be the ones collating the information. Since this is never published in any meaningful way there's no real means for the public to determine the scale of any given problem. In a deft move it's pretty clear that the one hand washes the other and what is ostensibly a complaint against the operator Arriva ends up at TfL. Since TfL issue the licences and forward the complaints to Arriva - having effectively appointed them in the first place - there's really no independent means of monitoring the service.

How do I know this? I know this because yesterday I received a phone call from TfL regarding a complaint I made about the behaviour of schoolgirls aboard an Arriva 476 from Kings Cross to Stoke Newington. They were screaming like the foul-mouthed Harpies they are and engaging in petty acts of vandalism on the top deck. This was nothing like innocent youthful hijinx and I'm no killjoy. It was the kind of behaviour I imagine ASBOs were designed to combat. Perhaps naively I politely asked them if they could see their way clear to tonig things down a little and was, of course, met with a foul torrent of abuse. Aaaah, the class and decorum of Catholic schoolgirls from Maria Fidelis in Euston shines through every time. I know where they learn their manners because in my former life I was a substitute teacher and have actually 'taught' at that God-forsaken place.

So having told the girls that I should have known better than to expect selfish little Harpies to respond to polite and reasonable requests I took my complaint to the driver. He didn't want to know. I asked him what he proposed to do about behaviour that was causing misery to other passengers and petty vandalism to his vehicle. He shrugs. I suggest that he might pull over and demand that the girls either shape up or get off the bus. He tells me that he is prohibited from so doing. I am astounded at this information and inform him that many times I have seen drivers refuse to continue driving a bus if a passenger sneaks through the back doors without paying. In these circumstances the bus doesn't go anywhere until the culprit dismounts or coughs up. But actually dealing with miscreants and vandals who abuse other passengers warrants no action whatsoever. I disengenuously enquire if I'm covered by such carte blanche and whether I may storm up and down the top deck screaming at others in filthy language, perhaps I can even disrobe and flounce about provocatively? The bus driver indicates that my behaviour woulod not cause him to rise from his seat much less leave the safety of his booth. Funnily enough, he suggests that only if there is some sort of violent altercation would he become involved. So lets see if I understand this: bus drivers will not become involved in minor incidents that affect the comfort and safety of passengers lest they should be in some way injured or made liable; bus drivers will become involved in violent incidents even though this clearly may well jeopardise their safety. That'll be the day.

Of course, I had chosen the relative comfort of the 476 in preference to the trauma of the 73 and had not banked on encountering Harpies. Americans may not do irony, so I get their share as well. I make yet another complaint to Arriva when I get home.

Which is why they called me back. In a wonderfully reductive and dismissive couple of sentences none of which actually addressed the situation I was told something like: "Arriva have looked into your complaint and they have decided that the driver was absolutely correct not to leave his cabin. It is the policy of Arriva that drivers do not deal with anything other than violent incidents aboard their buses." And that was that. Or would have been if I had not then informed the operator that I found the response unbelievably weak and inadequate and that I insisted on receiving a full written response to my complaint so that I might publish it on this blog. Furthermore, once I had possession of same I would escalate the matter to the London Transport Users Committee.

So I have seen the basic lifecycle of a complaint and I can assure you it's a travesty of a farce. My feelings on this matter were further confirmed when I contacted the Media Relations departments of both TfL and Arriva.

:: Transport forLorn threaten / Aggriever 'does not accept'

2004-09-28T23:06:00.000Z

As you will be aware it's increasingly easy to obtain the contact details of staff who work in the public or private sector merely by trawling the web. One doesn't have to indulge in anything underhand, simply find the relevant organisation and search the sites yadda yadda. Basic. What's puzzling is that occasionally when you actually call one of these well publicised numbers the person on the other end is surprised that you are able to reach them. So it seemed with TfLs Media Relations spokesman. I rang him to see if he would give me comment on what I was alleging about the 73.

Now of course I am not affiliated with the press in any way and it is beneath the dignity of Spin Doctors to communicate with anybody who can't find a few column inches for their mendacious bumph. So I could expect short shrift but thought there was just a chance I might happen onto somebody who could see that there 'might' be a problem.

Straightaway I could tell he was miffed that I had gotten through. He made it very clear that he had no idea what I expected from him and barely listened whilst I articulated what I had in mind. Very quickly his forensic mind began turning over like a small child deciding between the apple puree or the banana & apricot: " If you attempt to distribute your material aboard our buses you will be ejected." He was really hung up on this point and repeated it like a mantra, insisting that I acknowledge that I understood.

No matter how hard I tried I could not convince him that this was an entirely academic issue since I knew full well that drivers were prohibited from leaving their booths unless violence was offered. Furthermore, I confessed to finding it an amusing and rather impotent threat given that the very reason I was complaining in the first place was due to the hideous overcrowding that would clearly prevent a driver from ever reaching me anywhere on the bus much less defenestrating me for peacefully handing out pamphlets. But it was to no avail.

In vain did I try to point out that there were quite enough people queueing up at the stops to content me and that if these passengers took 'my material' on board of their own volition then I could hardly be held responsible. How would TfL know from whose foul hand the pamphlets originated? But I was wasting my breath. He just wanted shot of me and frankly, I'd had enough of him too. Although he declined to give me his email address (for reasons he declared were obvious) he had the cheek to ask for mine. Having nothing to fear and no favour to seek I happily obliged.

Nor did I have better luck with Aggriever. This time I was armed with a public domain email address for a woman who rejoices in the title 'Head of Media Relations' for Aggriever. "Bring me the Head of Media Relations!" has a lovely Herodian ring to it don't you think? I digress.

I emailed my familiar spiel and waited. I didn't have to wait for long before I was in receipt of the following:

Mr Knowles

Thank you for your e-mail. You do not indicate which media outlet you work
for and where you would intend to publish any response from us. It would be
useful if you could clarify these points while we look into the points you
raise.

Regards

Kxxxxx

Kxxxx Fxxxxx
Head of Media Relations
Arriva plc

Mmmmmhhhh...... She obviously didn't read it very carefully. No matter. I put her straight:

Kxxxx,

Although the son of an erstwhile journo I did not follow in my father's profession I'm almost ashamed to say. Nevertheless, I do intend to publish the material plus any response you might care to make in a pamphlet whichmyself and volunteers will distribute the length and breadth of the 73 route.

I realise that confessing this is likely to result in my being snubbed at some level, since I am not in a position to crow Arriva's - no doubt many and varied - list of achievements to the waiting world. Yet operating the 73 route is sadly not among the items on any such putative list. Rather, I take it to be more advantageous to target this information at a 'captive audience' if I may apply that term, to wit, the unfortunate passengers aboard the 73 bus.

I imagine they might have more interest in this than say, your Daily Mail reader.

But I shall take your advice. You are right to suggest that the Third Estate proper may well be interested in such a story. I shall contact them in due course.

Thank you.
This seems to have upset the Head of Media Relations in some way for she was quite dyspeptic in her reply:

Mr Knowles

I was merely trying to establish further details of your enquiry - something which I am surprised you take such offence at as it is a perfectly reasonable request.

Could you indicate when you would need anything from us.

Regards

Kxxxxxx
I had certainly not taken offence and I was most anxious to reassure the Head of Media Relations of this:

Kxxxxxx,

You mistake me. I take no offence and certainly offer none to your good self. Apologies if you felt otherwise.

Perhaps it was my recent experience with your counterpart at TfL who began by threatening me with eviction from 73 buses should I make the effort to inform passengers of the facts and their rights that slightly soured me on PR folk.

Forgive me if I did not make it clear enough in my original email that I am simply the proverbial Man On The Clapham Omnibus who wishes to remonstrate - in sympathy with my fellow passengers - with TfL and Arriva over the appallingly shoddy service offered by the 73 route.

Naturally, I am anxious to get started and had planned designing and distributing my 'eye-catching pamphlets' as soon as tomorrow morning. However, I am certainly prepared to hold fire briefly until such time as you have had opportunity to explore and respond to the claims I make.

So I guess the answer to your last question is asap.

Regards,

Jon Knowles.

They certainly move fast over there at Aggriever, I'll give 'em that much. Lickety-split they read my litany of grievances, investigated, probed, explored and responded the very next day. On the 29th September my inbox was graced with the following:

Mr Knowles

I have raised your concerns with Arriva London which does not accept the criticisms you propose to include in your leaflet. We understand that you have also contacted Transport for London and that they will be responding to you directly about some of your concerns.

We very rarely give permission for any third party to distribute information on any of our vehicles and will not be giving you permission to distribute your materials on our buses on this occasion.

Regards

Kxxxxxx

Kxxxxx Fxxxxx
Head of Media Relations
Arriva plc
Well, really. What is a chap to do? You try and you try to help people improve their services in the manner in which they suggest you go about it and then they refuse to accept criticism. Not only that but they refuse me permission to do something I never asked them for permission to do! If this is complaining I certainly don't think much of it. I'm afraid I couldn't let things rest there.

Dear Kxxxxxx,

So Arriva do not wish to respond formally to any of the legitimate criticisms made of the service? Hardly surprising really since they have happily sloughed off any real responsibility they might ordinarily be expected to have towards their customers onto TfL.

You mistake me again if you think I am asking you permission for anything. I really don't give a fat fart what you erroneously believe to be in your gift.

As a simply matter of courtesy I was offering Arriva the chance to respond. Predictably however, you are clearly panicked into the customary blanket denials customarily offered by large companies who benefit from the public purse without a second's thought towards the very public at which they mendaciously advertise their so-called services. Rather than attempt to mollify or understand legitimate public disquiet at your pathetic service you immediately lurch into ass-covering mode. Oh dear, oh dear.

It is very unfortunate that you have chosen to respond in this pointless fashion. It is exactly this kind of truculent and high-handed attitude towards the public that forced me to embark upon this campaign and will only serve to make me redouble my efforts to publicise what every passenger already knows about the 73.

So let's see shall we, which consumer revolt has more numbers: fans of Arriva, TfL and the 73 or those who will despise your company even more when I post this mail to my Blog.

And if I so wish to distribute pamphlets denouncing the 73 I shall do so. I really don't see how you can prevent me. It's a matter of legitimate public complaint in the public interest.

Even if I were to distribute such material aboard you bus (which is by no means necessary as I'm sure I can content myself with the large queues at the stops) it will be for you to find me and eject me. All I can say in regards to that is good luck! I have already had a response to a different complaint I made regarding the shocking behaviour and petty vandalism of schoolgirls on the 476 earlier this week. I was told then by the driver in no uncertain terms that he was forbidden from leaving his cabin unless there was a violent altercation. TfL concurred with the driver in their response and said that drivers will not leave their cabins. So you'll forgive me if I find the idea of some hard-pressed poorly paid TGWU member leaping from his cabin to eject a fellow peacefully handing out pamphlets laughable. Get real.

Instead of finding bogus ways to try to stifle legitimate complaint why don't you people pull your fingers out of wherever it is you've jammed them and actually address the problems? In any event you'll have to sooner or later as I'm sure the paying public will find these communications most edifying when they read them online.

Oh, and before you start bleating about the privacy footers you've included here, I suspect they're worthless or unenforceable. In any event I AM the person to whom you have addressed this message and I promise to use it solely for MY OWN purposes. If that isn't good enough to get by the legal pitbulls well, there's always paraphrase.

Since you have proven to be of no help whatsoever I doubt very much whether I shall have the pleasure of communicating with you directly again. But you may rest assured that you have genuinely inspired me through your skillful deployment of PR and media-savvy.

Nevertheless, it has been fun and I'm certain that someone in your exalted position will eventually be able to overcome the contempt you clearly have for your customers.

Keep up the good work & good luck with it all!

Jon Knowles

:: I offer TfL and Arriva rebuttal

2004-09-28T20:44:00.000Z

FYI

Dear Sir/Madam,

In the interests of fairness I should like to have your response to the following text which I intend to publicise on various stages of the 73 route and on your new buses. If you find any factual inaccuracies you will therefore have the opportunity to draw them to my attention before the general public have chance to seize upon them.

I shall be following this communication up with copies to the T&GWU, the HSE and any news outlet who might like to run with the story of how passengers on your 73 service are treated like cattle and the safety issues involved.

At heart my claims are these:
1) Your 73 service is dangerously overcrowded during key periods of the day.
2) It is only a matter of time before a passenger suffers injury as a result of this overcrowding.
3) Although the driver will be held responsible for what happens on the bus s/he has no effective control over the numbers boarding the bus.
4) Maximum passenger numbers are regularly exceeded on the 73 route
5) Wheelchair users and parents with strollers are frequently and routinely denied access to overcrowded buses during key times.
6) There has been little or no effective training for drivers in disability sensitivity or emergency.
7) The Citaro represents a clear danger to cyclists
8) You have decreased the available seating for passengers overall and increased the number of passengers standing whilst allotting them even smaller space.

Should you wish to forestall any negative publicity that such a campaign would necessarily involve I respectfully suggest that you address the pressing issues of comfort and safety which are trumpeted by your PR bumph but treated in cavalier fashion in actuality. You might start by routinely testing your own routes at key times by sending somebody with operational responsibility or influence to share the passenger experience. I call that basic customer relations yet none of those to whom I have frequently spoken about the 73 have actually ridden the route. They claim to sympathise but until they can be said to have even travelled the route I will continue to find such claims risible.

Sincerely,
Jon Knowles.

What follows is what I intend to publish on attractive and eye-catching flyers for the benefit of your customers.

|| ================ BEGINS =================== ||

Congratulations TfL and Arriva! You have managed to make a poor service much worse in almost no time at all.

† Are you getting a shitty service? Not just today but everyday?

† Have you just watched four overcrowded buses pass by your stop?

† Did they look like cattle-cars? Are you sick of being treated like livestock?

.... Then start bleating now!

"Customers can expect a higher quality travelling environment with greater comfort and increased reliability."
- Arriva press release.

Call 'em up.... TfL are, at least, obliged to record the details of your complaint. Here's how it works: if enough of us complain to TfL (and Arriva) then the operator's record starts looking grim and they're on the way to losing their concession. It's not much folks, but it's all we got. Let TfL know frequently and let them know often; no need to be rude, just forthright. I have cheerily promised to ring TfL EVERY time I feel my journey to be intolerable - that's what TfL are there for and they will eventually react to a rolling campaign of complaints about the 73.

Consider:
* How many people are on the bus? The new Mercedes with the amazing external combustion engines are 'designed' to carry 49 passengers seated and 101 standing. Since the driver has absolutely NO CONTROL over how many passengers board the bus at any given stop it is clear that you must have already travelled on a bus that was either carrying IN EXCESS of the maximum number of passengers or AT LEAST the maximum. Yes, I'm talking about those journeys during which your face was pressed up against the glass and when the doors opened you fell into the path of a cyclist.

* These Citaro used to burst into flames before they were recalled by Mercedes and 'fixed'. We are now told that they are safe. Now imagine one of those packed buses that go by you in the morning. Now draw a picture. Mine picture has flames and people screaming at the windows. The T&G (Drivers' Union) said at the time (25.03.04): "The bus drivers must feel that the vehicle they are driving is safe. Passengers must also know that and that their driver has been properly trained in evacuation procedures in the event of an emergency ... We have been robust in saying this ... We have demanded face-to-face meetings to get assurances to satisfy these needs. We believe the decisive action that was needed after the latest fire has now been taken." Do you share their confidence?

* We are also told that 'the 73 is getting better from every angle' on their advertising bumph. It can't be getting better for wheelchair users or parents with strollers. Having wheels doesn't magically create empty space on an over-crowded bus.

* Oh, and you can stop paying for yout tickets too if you fancy. I mean seriously, how is a ticket-inspector going to check the contents of your pocket when the bus is jammed full of humanity? Since the Oyster-card readers don't work yet and some of the driver's look at you like you've just shat in their cabin if you try to offer them money or speak to them, it looks like we're all off the hook. Let's face it, the ride isn't worth paying for anyway it's that unpleasant.

* Arriva's own press releases claim that the new Mercedes is capable of "Carrying up to 130 passengers - 50 more than the current vehicles serving the route". when I rang them TfL claim that the Mercedes is designed to carry up to 150 passengers (49 seated, 101 standing). Which is it? There are maximum numbers for good reason and in this instance I don't believe there can be room for a tolerance of plus or minus twenty. The EvoBus website claims the Citaro can "carry a maximum of 140 passengers (49 seated, the rest standing)." Arriva also claim the new Citaros "are an innovative step to offer an effective means of increasing capacity on Route 73." Translating from the adman's spin we read: "We believe we have found a way to overcrowd buses, provide less seating and reduce the personal bodyspace of all our passengers for the profits of our shareholders whilst simultaneously increasing the fares. No one will protest."

* When the flu season strikes and the poor bastard you're pressed up against sneezes all over you and six other passengers, you'll know exactly who to blame. By then, if you haven't done something about this intolerable situation yourself, you will be complicit in it.

The 73 bus service and the companies responsible:

:: Transport for London
Customer Services Department
London Buses
172 Buckingham Palace Road
London
SW1W 9TN

TfL: 02079184300 & 0845 300 7000
Fax: 02079183999
Email:customerservices@tfl-buses.co.uk
Managing Director (Surface transport): Peter Hendy
What he says: "Far more people will now be able to board the first bus that comes along, even on the busiest stretches of one of the capital's most heavily-used bus routes."

::Arriva plc
London Buses Customer Services: 02082710200 (redirects to TfL)
Comments & complaints: 08701 20 10 88 (In fact Essex & The Shires who will redirect you to TfL)
Arriva Switchboard (London): 02082710101 (Will put you through to TfL)
Corporate Communications Department: 0191 520 4000
Customer Services Manager: David Jones
Customer services telephone: 02082710226 (Use this one and ask for Mr. Jones)
Operational Manager for 73: Vince Goane.
Arriva London North: 02088870348
Email:pr.london@arriva.co.uk
Managing Director (London): Mark Yexley
What he says: "They will help reduce overcrowding and will improve services overall for passengers. They provide greater comfort for passengers, and have vastly improved accessibility for people with disabilities, parents with young children and people with shopping. ... The new buses are proven products which are popular with bus drivers and customers, as well as being very reliable."

:: Transport & General Workers' Union Press Office: 020 7611 2550 or 020 7611 25 49

:: London Transport Users Committee (www.ltuc.org.uk)

This is the next level of appeal for complaints which are ignored or unsatisfactorily addressed by TfL and Arriva. Until the aforementioned have been given adequate chance to respond to a complaint the LTUC will NOT become involved.

London Transport Users Committee
6 Middle Street
LONDON
EC1A 7JA
Tel: 020 7505 9000
Fax: 020 7505 9003

|| ================ ENDS =================== ||

:: I respond to TfL

2004-09-23T18:30:00.000Z

Since I had yet to receive any kind of response from TfL I took the liberty of following up on my previous missive:

Lxxxxxxx,

I thought you might like to see what Arriva claim for their service which I have taken the liberty of appending below.

In addition, I neglected to mention the experience of cyclist friends of mine whose lives and limbs are highly prized by both myself and, unsurprisingly, themselves. They report that they live in abject fear of being killed by these new bendy buses. Allow me to quote directly:

"I live in terror of bendy buses driven by psychopaths - they appear to have no visibility whatsoever, and I have on more than one occasion been driven off the road by overtaking buses.... Routemasters may have been smelly, but at least they didn't actively endanger the lives of cyclists.

"Things are getting deadlier from every angle" might accurately replace the joyous strapline currently dreamed up by Arriva's spin doctors & marketeers and might very well be seen at a bus stop nearby soon.

Thanks again and do let me know if you can be of assistance with my previous enquiry. I know if we get together on this one we can really make a change for the better and bang some heads together over there at TfL and Arriva!

BTW do you have the numbers for the Edmonton depot, say possibly the Manager's office number or suchlike so I can distribute that to passengers who may similarly wish to help improve services for themselves and others?

Thanking you in advance.

Jon Knowles.

From Arriva's own website: http://www.arriva.co.uk/__80256E7800362E96.nsf/vWeb/pcSRVM64EJPT

MY CAPITALS

[MY COMMENTS]

Bendy buses set to take centre stage on Route 73

26-Aug-2004

Forty-seven new, articulated buses are ready to begin service on Saturday 4 September on Route 73, one of London's most historic and popular bus routes.

[ACTUALLY THERE ARE ONLY 42 IN SERVICE BECAUSE 5 ARE KEPT AT THE DEPOT IN CASE OF BREAKDOWNS ETC.]

Operated by Arriva on behalf of London Buses, the new vehicles are the latest in a long run of investment in the capital's bus services.

The introduction of the new Mercedes buses, which will serve customers travelling between Victoria and Stoke Newington/Tottenham, follows consultation by London Buses with local boroughs, the London Transport Users Committee and other stakeholders.

Based at Arriva's Edmonton garage, the 18-metre long vehicles are nearly twice as long as current vehicles. Carrying up to 130 passengers - 50 more than the current vehicles serving the route - Arriva believes they are an innovative step to offer an effective means of increasing capacity on Route 73.

[OKAY, ARRIVA APPEAR TO HAVE A DIFFERENT FIGURE FOR THE PASSENGER CAPACITY OF THE CITARO FROM BOTH TfL AND MERCEDES-BENZ. HOW ARE WE TO ACCOUNT FOR THIS ODD DISCREPANCY? ANSWERS ON THE BACK OF A POSTCARD...]

All the new buses are low floor, 'kneeling' at bus stops, providing easier access for all and giving rapid boarding times at busy stops to some 15 million people who use Route 73 every year.

They also provide climate control and enhanced security, as all vehicles are fitted with CCTV. CUSTOMERS CAN EXPECT A HIGHER QUALITY TRAVELLING ENVIRONMENT WITH GREATER COMFORT AND INCREASED RELIABILITY.

The new vehicles for Route 73 will bring the number of articulated buses introduced to London by Arriva to 76 to date.

Mark Yexley, managing director of Arriva London, said: "These new vehicles signify further investment in bus travel in London. THEY WILL HELP REDUCE OVERCROWDING AND WILL IMPROVE SERVICES OVERALL FOR PASSENGERS. THEY WILL PROVIDE GREATER COMFORT FOR PASSENGERS, AND HAVE VASTLY IMPROVED ACCESSIBILITY FOR PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES, PARENTS WITH YOUNG CHILDREN AND PEOPLE WITH SHOPPING. "The new buses are proven products which are popular with bus drivers and customers, as well as being very reliable."

[HOW CAN THEY BE SAID TO HAVE PROVEN POPULAR WITH PASSENGERS BEFORE PASSENGERS HAVE HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO EVALUATE THEM?]

Peter Hendy, managing director, surface transport at Transport for London, said: "This marks a huge step forward for passengers on the 73, bringing the advantages of new, modern buses which have made a major contribution to the huge boost in popularity of the London bus network over the last few years.

"Far more people will now be able to board the first bus that comes along, even on the busiest stretches of one of the capital's most heavily-used bus routes."

[THIS LAST STATEMENT SEEMS PARTICULARLY RISIBLE IN THE LIGHT OF MY PREVIOUS EMAIL.]

:: Arriva rebrands itself Aggriever

2004-09-23T18:05:00.000Z

Having left TfL to digest my serial complaints I now turn my attention to Arriva.

It's not really very easy to talk to anybody at Arriva who wants to listen to customer feedback. Their acknowledged policy is to redirect all comlaints to a TfL switcboard operator - possibly via a voice who will answer the phone as London Buses. Whatever the event you are liekly to end up being routed to a TfL operator who will patiently and graciously take down your grievance.

Nevertheless, if we persist it doesn't take too much finger-walking to locate some useful details.

At arriva.co.uk we are surprised to see the following: "Arriva is committed to delivering a better service and we welcome your comments.Please call us on 08701 20 10 88 or email us by following this link" [http://www.arriva.co.uk/REAL/web/Arriva/Internet/IntInfRq.nsf/Request?OpenForm&LON].

Yet our hopes are dashed when we ring the number only to hear the familiar strains of cetaceous lovemaking down the wires. This is a fax number. Perhaps I'll send a message to ascertain exactly who is on the other end. I have tried the form and it appears to work.

You can also download one of Arriva's 'factsheets'. Presumably having this will prevent you from falling into errors of fantasy when you consider Arriva and its services.

FACT: "Arriva is one of the UK’s largest bus operators, with over 6,000 buses."

FACT Arriva "...is the biggest operator in London, providing nearly 20 per cent of the capital’s bus services."

FACT: "These easy access buses have facilities for occupied wheelchairs or buggies and a host of features designed to make travel easier for everyone, including people with disabilities."

FACT: Arriva "has also launched a national customer comment line, staffed by teams specifically trained to deal with customers. ... Arriva Passenger Services London: 020 8271 0101"

Well, actually on further investigation some of these 'facts' don't bear scrutiny. Certainly having dialled 020 8271 0101 I reach the Arriva switchboard but the minute I mention the word 'complaint' the operator wants to switch me to another number. I gently intterrupt and enquire if I am about to be switched to TfL and, indeed, that is exactly what was about to happen. So in point of fact Arriva IS NOT currently in possession of "a national customer comment line, staffed by teams specifically trained to deal with customers". Not even a little bit.

I shan't even dignify their first 'fact' with comment in the light of what we already know. So much for Arriva 'factsheets'.

Elsewhere on their site I discover what purports to be the "Arriva Customer Promise" a glossy two page PDF wherein we find the following gems:

† We aim to ensure that you have a safe, comfortable journey on a clean, well maintained bus.

† If your bus leaves early or is more than 5 minutes late and we are to blame, we will ensure that your next journey is free of charge.

† We will make it easy for you to tell us what you like or don’t like about our service by calling 08701 20 10 88 or by asking for a comment card from your driver.

† We will respond to your comment within 10 working days of receipt and will keep you up to date on progress in the meantime.

I particularly like the second of these statements and feel certain that passenegers at the Beresford Street stop at the very least ought to do quite nicely out of this. However, whilst not wishing to unduly malign my fellow passengers I do have to remind myself that in the absence of a conductor and since the Oystercard readers don't actually function (their usage would in effect be voluntary) many passengers aren't terrifically tempted by the prospect of a free bus journey.

Then there's that fax number again! I'll ring it again to be sure. This time it rings and a recorded voice announces that I'm through to "Arriva The Shires & Essex" and I'm in a queue because all the operators are busy. After five minutes I get to speak to a lady who instantly transfers me to the TfL switchboard in the familiar ping-pong I have come to know. When I call back and go through this routine a second time I discover that the operator is prepared to put me through to what I'm told is Arriva's customer service line: 02082710200. Mmmhhhh, I know this number and check my notes, It is, yes, you guessed it a voice message switch to TfL. The serpent eats its tail.

By now I am gathering quite a file on the 73 and its opaque network of responsibilities and Arriva's and TfL's claims for it.
I want to distil this into a folded A4 pamphlet which I can then make available to passengers. Before I do this I remind myself that before I 'go public' I should, in fairness, contact both TfL and Arriva with my claims in order that they may offer some sort of rebuttal or comment.

I scour my notes for numbers and emails I have gleaned from the various websites.

:: I put some questions to TfL

2004-09-23T17:56:00.000Z

The answers to which customer services at TfL included in the following mail:

John,
I have been advised that the maximum amount of seated passengers on a bendy bus is 49, and maximum amount of standing passengers is 100.

All drivers are trained in assisting wheelchair users, and there is a button on the outside of the bus for the wheelchair user to press to alert the driver that he or she is there. Driver will then lower the ramp and assisit them to board the bus.

I hope this answers your questions.

Kind Regards,

Lxxxxx Pxxxxxxx
Customer Services

I wrote her back:

Lxxxxx,

This does help. I am planning a campaign against the operators of the 73 for the poor service, safety, and value that they represent.

I would also like to know the official complaints number for the 73 service and an email address so that I can publicise them in the form of stickers and leaflets at bus stops in an effort to encourage passengers to make complaints. I shall advertise the numbers myself during my journeys to and from work in the morning from Newington Green to King's Cross between 8 and 9:00 am and 5 - 6 pm as I notice that this number is pointedly NOT available on the ludicrous "Things are getting better from every angle" poster at the bus stops. I have already made use of this number three time in two days and have undertaken to ring it and complain vociferously during every journey I consider to be intolerable. It's possible that TFL and Arriva might want to think about expanding capacity for recording these complaints.

By way of comparison I should also be grateful if you could let me know the number of busses that used to run on the 73 and their capacity and the current number of buses. Essentially, I want to figure out whether, as I suspect you have less actual space, more standing passengers, less seated capacity and also fewer buses now than before the retirement of the Routemasters. As I am given to understand that fares are about to rise substantially you will appreciate the relevance of this information to fare-paying passengers like myself.

I will be operating a clicker device to count the number of passengers who use the few buses that run during these times to demonstrate what has become plain to me. The buses are already exceeding the maximum number of passengers, are inaccessible to wheelchair users, parents with strollers and, indeed, able-bodied passengers most of the time!

There is also have a significant safety issue which arises because of the disgraceful overcrowding. In the first instance it is plain that the driver, without a conductor, has no effective control over the numbers of passengers who embark or disembark at any one time. Because of this the buses fill up beyond there safe capacity and passengers end up crushed against the automatic doors. There is currently no warning or safety device which prevents passengers from tumbling out of the bus at stops when the doors are opened by the driver. It is simply a matter of time before this happens and injury or worse results. It is so self-evidently actionable when observed at close quarters especially since the unfortunate victim may well not have chosen to 'lean' against the door but has been pressed there by other passengers.

Four cattle trucks past me this morning at Newington Green with people so packed into them that when doors opened passengers tumbled out onto the pavement. they resembled a death car to Dachau circa 1942 and had I chosen to subject myself to such stress and indignity I still could not have because the driver did not even pull up at the stop he was so full. Had I some motor disability that required a wheelchair or a child in a stroller I would not have even been able to mount the fifth bus that passed by it was still so full and that was half an hour into my alleged journey.

On the second day of operations of the new buses I had the pleasure of witnessing what happens when an elderly man attempts to use the 73 whilst taking his wheelchair-bound wife out with him. The driver barely acknowledged their existence, pulled up in front of a bin so they could not mount, finally gesticulated to the middle door with hid thumb when he was challenged and pulled forward three feet. The man wheeled his wife to the door where no ramp was operated or assistance given other than by myself. They were obliged to push through a slew of people pressed in together in order to access the very space alloted them on the bus. What an absolute disgrace it was. Since then I have seen the same situation any number of times with mothers and strollers. Yesterday I saw a fight break out between youths dismounting a crowded bus as the one had somehow collided with the other in the manner of these things - a prospect made all the more likely by the clear overcrowding. So the driver's are in a real quandary here: how is it proposed that they prevent already angry passengers who have waited half an hour in the wind to catch a bus to a workplace they probably detest from storming onto an already crowded bus? Never happen.

My journey home is equally bad. In fact in the dozen or so journeys I have made since the introduction of the new buses I have been able to use a seat only once. This is a far lower frequency than previously and if I, a healthy 36 year old male, find this onerous you can imagine how others feel.

I have been doing precisely that and I strongly suspect that there is a welter of righteous indignation which is just waiting to be tapped, harnessed and redirected at the operators of such a disgracefully poor service. I have also anticipated the usual responses. I imagine it could be said that of course there is crowding during rush hour and things are better at other times of day. I would respond that I pay the same amount for the same service others receive and would expect a similar standard - if there are more people in the morning then more buses must be supplied with drivers trained to operate them curteously and professionally.

In these days of mobile phones and lengthy journeys what better way for an irate passenger to employ their time than by lodging a complaint about the poor level of service and journey experience. I think it's a winner, don't you?

Perhaps you would like to help me in this campaign? To begin with I would like to persuade somebody with operational responsibility for the 73 to share my journey in the morning and/or evening. Do you think you could point my in the right direction?

Thanking you in advance,

Yours - Jon Knowles.

Sadly, Lxxxxxxx declined to assist me further with this enquiry as she did not respond to my friendly overtures. Nevertheless, I was able to find out who has operational responsibility for the 73 among other interesting facts. But you'll forgive me for holding back just a little as we'll explore those together in the fullness of time.

:: Complaining is habit-forming

2004-09-22T17:33:00.000Z

Another day another brings another series of packed Citaros and another crowd of hapless passengers who have bought tickets to the Great Public Transport Lottery. What mugs we all are lining up with our prepaid tickets to the mosh pit.

It's 8:10 am and already I've had a gutfull. An idea begins to form in my febrile mind. I have the TfL complaints number and plenty to complain about. I also have a tedious wait and a stressful, cramped journey ahead of me. Perhaps I can enjoin somebody at TfL to share my misery? In fact, what if everybody who is forced to wait around for merely a crowded bus instead of an overcrowded one all had the same idea?

Perhaps I can play a small part in ensuring that it occurs to other passengers that they too can complain. The number is printed on the ticket machines (and I later notice, on a poster stuck on the wall of the bus). What if I were to collate the various numbers for complaints along with the emails and the names of Operations Managers and MDs of the various companies along with any information I may have gleaned along the way and print it on a pamphlet and distribute it at the bus stops along the 73 route. Bugger what-ifs, that's exactly what I'm going to do!

Furthermore, I am resolved to ring TfL and add a new complaint to the litany EVERY time I find the journey intolerable and encourage others to do likewise. I ring the complaints number again and repeat essentially the same points I have made before. I ensure that other passengers at the stop overhear my conversation with TfL and receive nothing but approving nods and winks. Two passengers ask me for the number and I direct their attentions to the front of the ticket machines. At some point during my complaint a bus I can actually board shows up and I continue the call inside the bas which becomes ever more crowded as we proceed to Islington. By the time we reach Kings Cross I've had my say and ask the operator to send her reply to my questions via my email address. She acquiesces.

TfL will at some point during your complaint ask you for your name, adddress and postcode. I imagine this intimidates a number of people out of continuing with the complaint but it does appear to be part of their statuatory obligation. They are required to contact you with a written response within ten working days. It remains to be seen whether they do or not and I suspect they will somehow manage to fall short of their obligation as I am currently expecting responses to at least half a dozen ongoing complaints. Naturally, you should be cautious about announcing your name and residential details on a crowded bus.

:: I don't know how I got into this....

2004-09-20T17:57:00.000Z

.... Well, maybe I do. Sometimes when you get your teeth into something you just can't let go for a while and I'm certainly no exception. But enough about me, that's not what this is all about.

Like everybody else I did genuinely mourn the passing of the Routemasters I freely admit. But I could also see the need for newer buses and there were some strong arguments in favour as well as against. Chief among the former, for me, were the issues of accessibility, pollution and the possibility that an already overburdened service might actually improve. So it was with something approaching equanimity that I greeted the introduction of the Citaros.

I catch the 73 bus every weekday between 7:50 and 8:30 am and have been doing so since February. Before that I was compelled onto the 277 which is different World of Pain: one in which travellers ears are continually assailed by the myriad screaming Harpies who these days pass for schoolgirls, screaming obscenities at the tops of their voices and tormenting all who fall within reach of their fetid breath. But that is, as they say, a Whole other Can of Blog ....

Let's face it, the 73 was never the best route and frequently heaving Routemasters would wend their boatlike way past the stop full to the gunwhales. But at least there were conductors who could regulate the flow of passengers and ensure that certain basic dignities were observed. Not so anymore.

Since the 4th September when the Citaros were introduced on the 73 route I can count the number of times I have been able to sit down on the fingers of one hand. There's been absolutely no change in the number of buses that pass by my stop in the morning, either too obviously full to allow admittance or else they stop despite being packed and another half a dozen poor sods squeeze on board like servile sheep. Day in, day out. The only variation to this tedious regime would be the occasional relief of a passing 476 which is still by far the more comfortable option (except during the schoolrun I hasten to add).

Finally I could take no more. Standing at Newington Green with a crowd of people all doing that Stiff Upper Lip thing of stoically waiting for the chance - the mere chance - of being able to access what it is they have paid for. The price of a ticket is the price of a chance to use the bus - no more than that - a kind of public transport lottery. You know that many around you are quietly seething, a few even openly, but the minute a bus shows up, however crowded, they will revert to servile sheep and squeeze aboard without so much as a bleat.

Who is responsible for this daily indignity and discomfort? Who is behind it all? It's very hard to say. Maybe it's the operators Arriva? Maybe it's London Buses? Maybe it's TfL? Maybe it's Born Again Ken? In this blindingly modern age of PFIs and public/private partnerships we have a genuine pea & shell game: you'll never find the culprits cause you'll never know which company is responsible. When I get screwed I like to know who's doing it.

Time to find out!

:: I begin producing fine whines

2004-09-08T10:56:00.000Z

So this time I'm coming home from Kings Cross on a packed 73, pressed up against the rear doors. At every stop more people try to squeeze on board even though Blind Freddy would tell that the bus is already uncomfortably full. A mother with a stroller rolls her eyes as she realises she has got no hope of boarding. So it goes, stop after stop.

It's hot and every time the doors open at stops I am almost propelled from the bus by the force of the crush. I notice there is no warning sign on the door like 'caution: frequent opening' or a voice uttering same robotically. Not that it would matter. I have no choice since I am forced against the doors. A forseeable danger that will be actionable WHEN it happens that a passenger falls into the path of a cyclist or onto something hard and unyielding.

Further up the Essex Road a fight breaks out on the footpath of the bus stop just as it pulls away. It seems some boy has involuntarily violated the space of some other boy who has thre humourless oiks standing by. I have to imagine what happens next as they recede from view. Yet another forseeable consequence of a hideously overcrowded bus on a hot day.

By the time I get to Balls Pond Road I'm trying to read the small lettering at the foot of the ludicrous "The 73 is getting better from every angle" poster that insults my intelligence at every stop. I want to complain. This isn't occasionally a bad experience; this is a constant daily grind of poor service, overcrowding, bad management, misery and uncertainty. When I get off this bus I'm going to get that number off the poster and ring it.

At Newington green I disembark and approach the stop where the poster is displayed. In vain I look for a complaints number. There isn't one. I look around the bus stop furniture and find a number on a ticket machine underneath another teletext number. I type it into my phone and dial.

When you complain about the shite service on the 73 you don't actually have any contact with the operators Arriva. In fact, if you care to discover for yourself by calling them a few times you'll soon see that they're fundamentally uninterested in you complaint. The don't want to hear from you and they've organised things so they don't have to. Now I don't know the finer points of PFI wizardy or indeed, how these bus contracts work in detail. Indeed, it is my fond hope that some other Concerned Citizen can enlighten us all as to these ineluctable mysteries. What I do know is that once Arriva have been granted the licence to operate that route according to conditions stipulated by London Buses (some sort of subsidiary of TfL I can only imagine), they're pretty much safe for the duration. In fact, it seems to works a bit like elections with the option of public choice removed from the equation. TfL decide in our behalf who will get the licence from a very limited pool of operators I imagine. That's it. Yes, if the stipulations laid down by London Buses as regards timetabling etc. are not met then the licence may be not be re-awarded to the same operator next time. In this way TfL are obliged to record complaints made to them by members of the public about Arriva's performance which, presumably may affect the issuance of licences next time round. Or maybe not? Who knows, it's certainly not what I call public knowledge and is probably protected by all kinds of commercial privileges.

Having made a complaint - which can be as long and rambling as you like although the personnel will stop you occasionally to tap choice cuts into their workstations - a chain of events has been set in motion. According to the London Buses website [http://www.tfl.gov.uk/buses/contact_home.shtml] they are obliged to: "...send you a full written response within 10 working days. If we cannot give you a full answer in this time, we will send you an acknowledgement within 2 working days and then a full written response within 15 working days.... If you are not satisfied with our reply, you can contact the independent watchdog body, set up by Parliament to represent your interests: London Transport User's Committee, 6 Middle Street, London, EC1A 7JA. Telephone: 020 7505 9000. Fax: 0207 505 9003. Web: www.ltuc.org.uk

So I rang and perfunctorily went over the shortcomings of the 73 with the operator whose expressions of sympathy were only inetrrupted by the distant clatter of her fingers on the keyboard.

:: Demythologising the 73 route: Disability Access

2004-09-07T17:37:00.000Z

So I'm standing once again at the 73 bus stop at Newington Green watching all the Citaros pass by whilst a crowd gathers. I notice an elderly gent escorting who I take to be his wife in a wheelchair. Eventually a bus pulls up that looks like it might have some space. Everybody moves purposefully around the couple and onto the bus. I remain behind the elderly couple who are trying to enquire of the driver how to board. He ignores them until all the other passengers are aboard and then, without so much as a word, he gestures with his thumb towards the middle of the bus. However, he has parked so that the middle doors are directly adjacent to a concrete bin, clearly preventing a wheelchair from boarding. I tell him that he'll have to pull forward to allow them access. He does so grudgingly. The couple make their way to the centre doors and the old fellow is struggling to manoeuvre the chair onto the floor because the driver has neglected to operate the electronic ramp! I ensure that the couple get on the bus and then move to the rear door whereupon the driver shuts it on me. I scrape through onto a packed bus and fume quietly. This cannot go unremarked and I plan to get the number of the bus and record the necessaries.

When I disembark at Kings Cross Thameslink I try to memorise the number. Of course by the time I get to work I've forgotten it. I shan't let that happen again. Drivers and operators you are on notice. I WILL be taking pictures on and around your buses with or without your permission. I WILL be taking down numbers and details and posting them here. Evict me from your buses, I dare you! I double dare you .... From now on I will ring up and complain; I will carry a camera and a notebook and there's not a damn thing you can do about it except improve your appalling service.

I would be delighted to hear from any wheelchair users or, for that matter, parents with strollers as to their view on the alleged accessibility improvements. Please post your comments here and I shall see that they are made known.